Going back to work after depression and anxiety

Postby princessleia20 » Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:32 pm

I am seeking advice as I am very confused about my current situation. I was signed off sick from work in 2006 with depression and anxiety and I started to recover in 2007. In 2008 my mother became ill very suddenly and died within 8 weeks which totally floored me. I managed to gather up the strength to do a top up degree at university which I was very proud of and I graduated in July 2009. I have been looking for work since then and have now been offered a full time job in a college as a learning mentor.

The job is full time but term time only but I am scared I have taken on too much. I've been out of work for 3.5 years and been through so much. I have made such good progress with my depression in fact I can say I am not depressed anymore but still have some anxiety. I was excited when I initially got offered the job but then the next day the reality kicked in...I am scared of being somewhere full time in case I want to run away and I am now worried I have done the wrong thing.

I was fine at university but then thats a supportive atmosphere and I do well there but I am worried about work. I have got it wrong a lot in the past and I am scared I will crash and burn in this role. Why did I go for something so demanding supporting others 14-16 year olds....it seems like a lot of responsibility when I have been so ill. What should I do? I am worried about not doing it as I have told all my relatives about the job but part of me wishes I could just volunteer and find my confidence again or do some more study at uni. My partner and I could really do with my earning good money again as we bought a house this year and have struggled to maintain it...I feel under so much pressure.
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#1

Postby jurplesman » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:35 am

HI princessleia20,

Let me congratulate for your efforts in obtaining a degree after a period of depression. I know what you are talking about because I obtained my degree being in the midst of my own illness of depression and anxiety, symptoms of which were controlled at the time by psychiatric medication.

With your mother dying in 2008, this may have triggered a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but if you think this is not the case, your anxieties and insecurities may still be mainly biological and easily treatable by nutritional means. The causes and treatment is explained in the following articles:

Beating Anxiety and Phobias
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: A Disease of Mind and Body
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Hypoglycemia here

You will find that going of a Hypoglycemic Diet, will reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Please discuss with a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychologist, if symptoms persist.

I hope I have been of some help.
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#2

Postby TheHappinessClinic » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:22 am

Congrates on the degree; congrates for working through your depression; and congrates on the job. None of those things are easy to accomplish and you have done them all!

I want to pick up on something you said.
I was excited when I initially got offered the job but then the next day the reality kicked in...I am scared of being somewhere full time in case I want to run away and I am now worried I have done the wrong thing.


Reality kicked in or your thoughts? Thoughts are like snakes slithering around your head. "What if this What if that?" You start imagining what COULD happen and before you know it you are reacting as though it HAS happened.

Having such a few traumatic years you are bound to imagine the worst. However imaging the worst means you are responding that way and before you know it, your back in that situation again.

There is a reason why YOU rather than others got this job. PERHAPS you were the best person for it. Perhaps if you get into difficulty you will still be supported; perhaps a challenging job with young people is what you need. All of those statements probably havent really occured to you before because of your thought patterns.

If the job turns out to be to much for you you can always leave but how will you know until you try? Through your conselling you must have learnt some skills. Maybe you need to take another look from another perspective.

Check this out:http://www.lulu.com/product/download/the-great-mind-swindle/6046419It's free to download
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#3

Postby Cooler » Mon Dec 21, 2009 9:18 am

Princess,

Being a learning mentor is not too stressful, as it is mostly working with individual students (or used to be). The college tutor will be carrying overall responsibility.

It is a nice job, and it is quite easy to lose yourself in the helping role and forget about the anxiety. I was a college tutor (with panic disorder) for 15 years and noone ever even knew.

Good luck. :)

Alex.
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#4

Postby princessleia20 » Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:59 am

Hi thank you all so much. I really was expecting to be told not to do it and I could run away but I am grateful that the response was more positive. It is so nice to be able to get advice from people who understand. I will at least try this job and see how it goes. I suppose at some point in my life a job will click into place!

Thank you all it has made a real difference to my state of mind especially the quote that was used that I said about my "reality" its not is it...its all in my head as you said. Even if the job isn't for me in the end at least I didn't let fear rule my decision making.
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#5

Postby TheHappinessClinic » Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:54 pm

Your right it is in your head but that is reality. You create it. Your thoughts make your reality. What you think is happening you respond to. You see it; you feel it; you behave.

If you had listened to your thoughts you would have created a belief. You would give in to fear.

Now your happy to give it a try. If you don't like it you can try something new but I'm sure Alex has eased your mind there. Sure you'll do great. It might take a bit of adjusting to. Make time for you.

I think you got the job coz you were best for the job despite all you have gone through! What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger eh? Think you have learnt a few tools over the years. Who knows you might even be able to pass some of them on.

Just take each day as it comes. Enjoy
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#6

Postby Windyday » Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:16 pm

princessleia20

You have some real doubts about this job. None of us know what those doubts really are going by what you have said. It is only you who can decide.

Are any of your doubts to do with coming from a situation where things were all positive and you got lots of praise and support (getting top-up degree despite depression and death in family)? Remember all you have to do is the job. Concentrate on that. Concentrating on just doing the job and nothing else comes easy to many, but to some it is easy to get distracted and not remain focused on the job in hand.

WD
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