I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this, I am really alone and my thoughts are all over the place. I know I have anger management issues, and my husband does to. Hopefully you all can help me come to some peace...
He was fired from his job on Thursday for poor attendance and I was trying to be supportive. We just bought a house together and I thought there is no use in getting mad at him because we'll make it work. He hated the job so I bought a bottle of Champagne, balloons, two cards, and rented a movie to cheer him up. I spent the day Friday taking him out to eat, etc.
Last night we got into an argument because I feel like he puts too much of his self worth into his a-hole friends. After an hour of arguing I wanted to sleep. I had to be at work this morning early, and I was mad so I yelled "I have to go to bed because I have a job". I went into the bedroom and shut the door behind me.
He followed me into the bedroom and began calling me crazy, and calling me chicken sh*t. He kept calling me chicken sh*t so much that I got up and tried to close the bedroom door. I told him this was going to escalate and he needed to leave. He threw the bedroom door open and kept calling me Chicken Sh*t in my face.
I pushed him away and kept trying to close the door and he kept on. I cant remember what he called me, maybe chicken sh*t again, so I slapped him across the face and tried to push him out of the way to shut the door (sort of in one maneuver to try and seperate him from me).
That's when he came after me. I have never seen that kind of look in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to kill me. He swung his arm over his head and punched me in the face so hard that I fell over. Our laundry basket broke my fall (I actually fell into it), and I was just frozen with shock.
I've been researching domestic abuse, and many people would tell me that I started it because I hit first. That may be true, and I take responsibility for the fact that I slapped him across the face. I do think though that his reaction of punching me in the face was not justified. I wanted to end the argument and he wouldnt stop, nothing was keeping him from being in my face so I felt like i had to hit him to move him away.
We've been together for 4 years and married for 4 months. I think we should seperate.
I appreciate you for taking the time to read this. I feel so alone, confused, and isolated. I havent been home and am afraid to go home (I stayed at a friend's house after the fight).