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I am stuck and dont know what to do with my wife


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confusedwife716
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2010
Posts: 1

Post Wed Feb 03, 2010 12:57 am

I am stuck and dont know what to do with my wife    Reply with quote  

My wife has had some type of anger issues since I've met her. But it just seems to get worse and now its like she doesnt want to try and control it. She keeps telling me to stay away because shes afraid she will hurt me. She says she blacks out when she gets mad, and that she says things that she doesnt mean. But the things she says hurt my feelings. We've been together 5 years and been married 2 years. We have been through so much and right now we do have a lot of stress in our life. But she holds all her feelings in and doesnt really want to talk to me about anything and then it builds up and she explodes with anger. She punches things, and ends up hurting herself, and tries to break things. I used to be able to calm her down and now its so bad that I cant. She doesnt thinks before she does or says anythings. But I love her to death and I just want to try and work it out and help her. I do not want to give up 5 years of my life. I just do not know where to start. Can anyone suggest somewhere to start. I do not want to lose her, but its putting so much strain on our relationship and she mentally hurts me now, and I do not want it to get to the point where its physical. I want to take hold of it before it gets that bad. But the littlest things make her mad. Last night, we ordered pizza and got a sicilian and the cheese got stuck to the top of the box and she freaked out... refused to eat it and everything. It came down to the point that she threatened to leave me and I tried to stop her from leaving because I do not want anything to happen to her. We live right off of a main busy road. It drives me crazy and its making me depressed. I do not eat, and Im starting to lose weight that i dont have to lose. I just want the two of us to be happy!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE DIRECT ME IN THE RIGHT PATH OF WHERE TO START.... Sad
  
jurplesman
Super Member


Joined: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 14148
Location: Sydney, Australia

Post Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:28 am

Re: I am stuck and dont know what to do with my wife    Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by confusedwife716
My wife has had some type of anger issues since I've met her. But it just seems to get worse and now its like she doesnt want to try and control it. She keeps telling me to stay away because shes afraid she will hurt me. She says she blacks out when she gets mad, and that she says things that she doesnt mean. But the things she says hurt my feelings. We've been together 5 years and been married 2 years. We have been through so much and right now we do have a lot of stress in our life. But she holds all her feelings in and doesnt really want to talk to me about anything and then it builds up and she explodes with anger. She punches things, and ends up hurting herself, and tries to break things. I used to be able to calm her down and now its so bad that I cant. She doesnt thinks before she does or says anythings. But I love her to death and I just want to try and work it out and help her. I do not want to give up 5 years of my life. I just do not know where to start. Can anyone suggest somewhere to start. I do not want to lose her, but its putting so much strain on our relationship and she mentally hurts me now, and I do not want it to get to the point where its physical. I want to take hold of it before it gets that bad. But the littlest things make her mad. Last night, we ordered pizza and got a sicilian and the cheese got stuck to the top of the box and she freaked out... refused to eat it and everything. It came down to the point that she threatened to leave me and I tried to stop her from leaving because I do not want anything to happen to her. We live right off of a main busy road. It drives me crazy and its making me depressed. I do not eat, and Im starting to lose weight that i dont have to lose. I just want the two of us to be happy!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE DIRECT ME IN THE RIGHT PATH OF WHERE TO START.... Sad


The first thing we must do look for possible physical illnesses that may contribute to her anger outbursts, depression and stresses. It is not all in the mind! Please read:

Anger Management: Nutrition and Psychotherapy

and then study:

Summary of Self-help Pyschotherapy

in its entirety from beginning to end. It includes a program showing you how to overcome a negative self-image, and assertiveness training program, communication course and values clarification course. You may need the help of a CBT therapist to complete the course. But most people will get better at it by themselves, by just reading.
Use our "Search our Web Site" for topics being discussed in other articles.
Triarius
Senior Member


Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 4780

Post Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:20 pm

   Reply with quote  

Sometimes tough love is the only way to go.

If she gets too mad, pack up and leave for a day or two. Tell her to learn to get control of herself. Repeat that often enough and I bet she will learn to control it.
RON WEISS
Full Member


Joined: 04 Feb 2010
Posts: 219

Post Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:37 pm

Anger couching    Reply with quote  

Dear Confusedwife....

you love her and wants to help her Question

Idea She needs some good anger couching sessions.

Can you convince her to listen and if she is ready , can you support her throughout the process Question Question

I remain at your disposal .

Arrow Ron Weiss
  

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