I have a situation. First of all, I don't need to be slammed with rude comments and people being judgmental. Yes, I am asking for your advice, but go easy on me because I am already feeling bad enough. I am married and I have three small children. I am as close to a single mom as you can possibly get because my husband is hardly EVER around and I have expressed how much it bothers me, but he always has some excuse to come up with and I'm drained, I'm just to the point where I'm going to enjoy my time with my kids and not put so much energy into him. I do everything for my kids. They are with me 24/7, unless I leave and go somewhere for myself early in the morning like to work out or something and then come home right as they wake up while they are home with my husband (who sleeps in as well, every morning of course).
What I am saying by all of this, is if anything ever were to happen between my husband and I, they would not be too brokenhearted to say the least. Even when he is around, he has very little patience. Also, I know for a fact he cheats on me, but what am I going to do? Leave him? I can't move in with my parents. That would drive me crazy. I know the logic in this. I have to finish my career and then leave, I know. I'm starting nursing school in August and I know it's going to be extremely difficult, but I know I will be able to do it for a few reasons. I have to do something because even if things end up working out with my husband which I do not predict, I have to have something for myself that I love and will support my children. They will start daycare in August, but I know I will be able to balance my time. I am a fighter and I am a very very strong person. I know I can do this and I have some family here that will be able to help me that all agree with the fact that my husband is indeed a douche bag.. sorry.
I have never in my life had any feelings what so ever so any other man. I have been married to my husband for six years and have never been anything but faithful to him. I am not a rag doll though. I am a human being and I need to be loved and he does not love me. I do not need an old fashioned person telling me "well you stay with your husband for your kids sake, no matter what". If my mother would have stayed with my father and I knew when I got older she didn't love him and she was miserable, I would be mad at her. That is pure stupidity.
I have met a man who is a teacher at my child's school. From day one, I have felt drawn to him and I have never expressed my feelings or thoughts to anyone about this. He has been so flirty with me and always goes way out of his way to talk to me. He loves my children too, it's so sweet. He spends more time with them in an hour than my husband spends with them in a week (quality time, at least). My oldest son is so innocent and would never hurt anyone, so in turn, he is usually the one to get bullied and during recess, this teacher will actually play with him (and only him sometimes) during recess and he isn't even his student.
I know it's because he feels sorry for him and he has such a big heart. My son talks about him all the time.. "Mr. _____ did this", "Mr _____ did that", "I hope I will see Mr. ____ tomorrow". I can totally tell he likes me and oh my gosh how I've wanted to tell him I like him, but I haven't yet because of the obvious. I am married... lately though, I have found it increasingly hard to deny my feelings and I have a strong urge to tell him. I already wrote a letter to him because my son is having a Valentines Party at his school in a few days and will be handing out Valentines to all the teachers and this is my chance, I feel to tell him, if ever. The reason being, my son will be handing out valentines to ALL the teachers. In this teacher's card, I can give him my letter. I am still contemplating though and I really need some advice. I honestly don't care if I get rejected. I almost wish I would get rejected so I can move on and forget about it. But what I can't do is just forget about it. Maybe if I had a faithful husband, it would be one thing. But I am a hard working mother and wife who gets crapped on by her husband and I'm not going to spend my whole life knowing I will never find love again. Yes, I cannot divorce my husband immediately right now but does that mean I let this man (which I believe is the man of my dreams) go? And never see him again? Even if he turns me down, I will feel so relieved to get this off my chest. That is all I'm going to say. Some advice please!