Sex "addiction" specifically: prostitutes

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Postby Gabranth » Thu May 13, 2010 11:34 pm

I have been using prostitutes for 6 years, on a routine basis. I guess the turning point was when I was rebuked by a hooker for visiting the brothel too often.

"your a nice boy. Why not get a civilian? I think you are a little addicted to this place,and it is bad for you."

Her words, not mines.

It played a prominent role in me trying to commit suicide, and I spent a LOT of money on my "habit". I am fed up being a slave to it, and I humbly beg any of you, if you can give me ANY advice to overcome this, Id be most apprecative.

Thank you in advance.

I posted this in the relationship forum as a mistake, I do apologise: a little tired when I initially posted this and so totally missed this forum! :oops:
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hey

Postby fullofregret » Fri May 14, 2010 2:41 am

Well Gabranth i don't know much about your addiction so forgive me if i give some bad advice..

I guess the first thing you should ask yourself is.. why are you doing this with your life and what exactly led you to this point?

I haven't experienced THIS addiction but i have experienced addiction and i know it usually happens for a reason. Im really starting to realise that these things dont just happen on their own. They happen because of decisions we choose to make during the course of our lives.

There has to be a reason behind you doing this and hopefully you know what it is. The hard part is to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start doing something about your problem. Its definately not easy but you did take the first step by posting on this site.

Once again i apologise if this doesn't help but like i said, i haven't experienced this problem so i know A LOT less about it than someone who has.
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Postby AlexcekScytheclaw » Fri May 14, 2010 2:53 am

I've never had an addictions, in the sense of drugs or anything, I'll say as much now. What I did have, however, was an obsessive attachment to one girl. I was ruining my life and peace of mind, what little I had, in a really stupid way. Part of me knew I needed help, and practically begged for it.

What helped me was this: desire to change for the better. One of my primary life goals is self-improvement. The other was realizing just how dumb what I was doing to myself was. It hurt to admit this to myself, but I was screwing up my life for no real reason. I had to turn from that path, make my life anew. I forced myself to not be who I had been, to be a new person. My will is like a freight train, no two ways about it.

If you want to change, do it. Look yourself long and hard in the mirror, literally or otherwise, and say to yourself "This is stupid, we're not doing this to ourself anymore." Stick to it. Watch yourself. Correct yourself if you slip. It works if you keep to it.
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Postby leonlvs1 » Sat May 15, 2010 1:12 am

hey man
not on that addiction as much but i am onto a sexual addiction anyway....to get out of it well... no one here says much after all.... mine is porn addiction... i tried going to a prostitute but it helped not... i mean porn addiction makes you kinda impotent... sucks uh??? well the thing is... i sompted against it just as much as you did... one day i just connected the dots and found out it was an addiction... hard to let go though... i started doing it less often... couldnt quit all at once... guess any of us can... so try to make it less often and if you are single go out to bars and try to meet someone... not specifically to date... or to one night stand... just meet, socialize.... i know it has helped me out a bit... i dont know about you but mine comes to tha fact that i am all alone in a foreign country and work at home from my pc... so comes out hard .... just try to make it less and less often... if you are married i wont tell you to tell it'l be stupid... but focus on the relation, on what got the two of you to be togheter....
hope it'd help
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Postby super47 » Sun May 16, 2010 4:08 pm

I don't see it as an addiction.
I think that someone who has been screwing prostitutes exclusively is suffering from some kind of social anxiety disorder. I know this was the case for me when I was younger (about 10 years ago) fear of socializing and rejection makes it seem easier to simply put your $ on the table and be done with it. But what you are left with after is just a dirty, disgusted feeling with yourself. If this is indeed an addiction, the cure would be love (as cheesy as that may sound). You need to quit seeing the whores, and take the time to meet someone you really care about. This may be way outside of your comfort zone, but it is necessary for you to move forward. And don't worry if you get rejected, most men will tell you need to try many times before you succeed. Once you have sex with someone you love with every fibre of your body, the nasty thought of screwing a prostitute will only disgust you and send chills down your spine.
Good luck man, I hope you overcome this. You should also go for STD tests, and if you are lucky enough to still be clean, be grateful and use that as motivation to stop.... before you get something that stays with you for life (or shortens it drastically)
I wish you the best.
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Postby leonlvs1 » Mon May 17, 2010 12:53 am

IT IS an addiction.... and it can happen to anyone from single, married, young, old, etc....and yes, i've done it just as much and i am not addicted... jsut as mucha as I, and many other thousands, have tried pot, extasy, alcohol, cigarretes.... and i am just naming the ones Ive tried... and hey i am not hanged to them.... but some do... i am addicted to pornography... and i am good looking, i am quite the party guy... i can get any girl i want... but hey.. i am addicted... and as dumb as it looks... sometimes we fall for it....and dont go telling me pornography aint an addiction.... for it has its secondary efects.... and they suck man....
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Postby super47 » Mon May 17, 2010 4:44 pm

leonlvs1 wrote:IT IS an addiction.... and it can happen to anyone from single, married, young, old, etc....and yes, i've done it just as much and i am not addicted... jsut as mucha as I, and many other thousands, have tried pot, extasy, alcohol, cigarretes.... and i am just naming the ones Ive tried... and hey i am not hanged to them.... but some do... i am addicted to pornography... and i am good looking, i am quite the party guy... i can get any girl i want... but hey.. i am addicted... and as dumb as it looks... sometimes we fall for it....and dont go telling me pornography aint an addiction.... for it has its secondary efects.... and they suck man....


Well of course it can be an addiction, but someone who exclusively has sex with prostitutes definitely ALSO has some kind of problem interacting with women.
I am not debating the fact that you have an addiction, I know a couple guys who can't keep themselves off the porn pipe. However thay definitely can't have "any girl they want", and if you can, I'd suggest you go get one. I can't imagine if you have a gorgeous girl in your bed you are going to want to run into the bathroom and beat it on your iphone.
The truth is most men with porn addictions are not satisfied with their sex lives.
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Postby Gabranth » Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:58 am

Guys....wanted to give a big thank you to you all, for your help. tournalmine, if your reading this pal, a special thanks to you as well :)

Its been over 6 weeks now since Ive...."strayed from the path". And you know what? It hasn't been as tough as I thought it would be. I thought I would be spending every waking moment being tempted. Sure, the urge is there occassionally, and I do get a little tempted but it is nowhere nearly as intense as before.

I took your advice guys, and I did a lot of soul searching. Sat down with pen and paper, and listed WHY i did it. I learned a lot about myself in the process, and it wasn't pretty. It seems that I am even more monstrous than I thought, and the reasons for it are pretty damn dark. That saddened and scared me in equal measure, but I am reassured now because now that I know the dragon within me, I can slay it.

Thanks once again guys.
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