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SeaDonkey
Junior Member
Joined: 29 May 2010
Posts: 44
Sat May 29, 2010 1:25 pm
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| When someone pats you on your shoulder - What does it mean? |
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Being mildly autistic I'm terrible at reading non verbal cues. What does it mean when someone you don't know pats you on your shoulder as they're talking to you? Is this some kinda unconscious assertion of dominance over the person they're patting on the shoulder or is it a gesture of friendship? The reason I ask is because I've noticed it in people who display lots of confidence from the start and they act like they're my friend and although some of them have turned out to be good friends in the long run, I get cynical about people that pat me on the shoulder lol. Can anyone inform me about this kinda thing? |
Motivated
Senior Member
Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 1620
Sat May 29, 2010 4:58 pm
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SeaDonkey - that bugs me too!
I think guys are often rough & I've seen NBA players pat eachother's rear ends, & it doesn't seem to bother them. Sometimes it could be like, "Good job!"
I've also been patted REALLY hard - almost like they were hitting & that upset me.
But I think usually, people have good intentions. My husband used to pat me on the shoulder - & I think he meant, "Don't worry, you're fine." To me, it came across as I'm a pittied pet, so I told him & he doesn't do it anymore. I imagine it depends on the context & relationship. |
SeaDonkey
Junior Member
Joined: 29 May 2010
Posts: 44
Sat May 29, 2010 6:10 pm
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Yeah it appears to me like its a disrespectful gesture. Kinda like saying "its alright" as if they know better than you do. Maybe thats just paranoia on my part though I don't know. |
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but I can't imagine someone patting a police officer, president or other authority. Then again, I know some people who want to be affectionate, but don't know how, so they pat (instead of hug) & I've seen grown brothers slug each other, but never hug. 
