Crying out of anger

Postby Cleo281989 » Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:55 pm

I am 21 years old and I have only recently come to the realization that I have no control at all over my emotion. I have no idea where to start on getting a grip over my emotions and need help. for about my whole life i've always used crying as an outlet for my anger but lately its out of control. i cant have an argument with my boyfriend or family without bursting into tears for at least an hour, sometimes longer. It usually happens when Im frustrated or angry, it doesnt matter how angry i am, it just spirals out of control and i just cry and cry. Small matters like the way my mother talks sometimes irritate me and this irritation manifests into thoughts of violence and tears. This to no surprise frustrates me even further and just makes things even worse. Ive tried counting and taking deep breathes but it doesnt work. Should i call a counsellor or therapist for this problem or is there a pharmaceutical solution i can turn to? Ive heard of medication that calms you but I am weary of the degree to which it calms you.

Please HELP!
Cleo281989
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#1

Postby JAKJRF » Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:11 pm

Hi Cleo281989

Welcome to the forum.

Indeed crying is part of the human condition and Adult crying has psychological benefits and costs; some link both of these to perceived helplessness, as we cry out of personal pain and loss and failure and anger and guilt and empathy and joy. And indeed, crying helps us vent, helps us communicate our feelings of submission, needs and social attachments between one another. And yes, as you prove, adult crying can have a social and personal cost. For those that excessively cry, the automatic crying can, as it has for you, leave them with an out-of-control sense, effectively extending their personal suffering, even diverting their self-attention from the real solutions for the issues that triggered that cry. And finally over time, we can tag ourselves, and others tag us, as criers, and those self-expectations and perception of the expectations of others, allow more crying, with an every lessening impact on those around us. The crier, is left to cry alone, even as the world watches. There is good news.

The good news is that Adult crying has been studied as revealed in this excellent book review Adult Crying, A Biopsychosocial Approach an excerpt follows. "The ancient problem of the why and how of adult crying has occupied thinkers since Aristotle. Crying was at least as problematic for Darwin (1872), and, more recently, Montagu (1959), but these are merely a scraping of thinkers perplexed by the phenomenon. Aristotle's catharsis thesis has been pervasive and persuasive for hundreds of years. Recent study, as noted by Cornelius in the chapter 'Crying and Catharsis' in this book, suggests that crying is less of a psychological and physical cathartic experience than initially thought; indeed, crying actually increases emotional and physical tension. Sympathetic arousal, muscle tension, etc (events that have been suggested in relation to stress reduction and associated with ulcer formation and dermatological eruptions), are not reduced by crying. The catharsis model appears to be incorrect." And note that the article mentions drug treatment when such is required.

Take a read of these links and if you allow, we can discuss more, your crying.

What say you?

Note the bold underlines above are links that when clicked, opens supporting information.
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#2

Postby Rainbowstormclouds » Sat Jul 03, 2010 10:24 pm

Cleo281989 wrote:I am 21 years old and I have only recently come to the realization that I have no control at all over my emotion. I have no idea where to start on getting a grip over my emotions and need help. for about my whole life i've always used crying as an outlet for my anger but lately its out of control. i cant have an argument with my boyfriend or family without bursting into tears for at least an hour, sometimes longer. It usually happens when Im frustrated or angry, it doesnt matter how angry i am, it just spirals out of control and i just cry and cry. Small matters like the way my mother talks sometimes irritate me and this irritation manifests into thoughts of violence and tears. This to no surprise frustrates me even further and just makes things even worse. Ive tried counting and taking deep breathes but it doesnt work. Should i call a counsellor or therapist for this problem or is there a pharmaceutical solution i can turn to? Ive heard of medication that calms you but I am weary of the degree to which it calms you.

Please HELP!




You sound fed up to me, like any little thing makes you cry bc your so overwhelmed perhapes by a pile up of other conflicts? Getting counsiling, that I know of personally, doesnt really help,all they do is sit and listen, offer no feed back or anything, but I think like therapists, or ppl of different titles, no counselors, may better suit u, someone to offer guidence and feed back. You know, try going to get a pedicure, or take your self out to eat, or go for a long drive, little simple things may help, ..get back your independence, gain back inner strength, then put a stop to those that cause you conflict
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#3

Postby jurplesman » Mon Jul 05, 2010 4:42 am

jurplesman
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