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Psychology forum home -> Practitioners' Lounge -> My boyfriends mother lives with us & I'm goin' crazy! This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

My boyfriends mother lives with us & I'm goin' crazy!

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New Member

Joined: 10 Jun 2010
Posts: 1

Post Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:58 pm

My boyfriends mother lives with us & I'm goin' crazy!    Reply with quote  

My boyfriend is a cop so naturally he works nights shift sometimes. His mother moved in with him because he has a four y/o daughter that lives with him. His mom moved in so someone would be there at night with the little girl while he works. Well then he asked me and my two children to move in with him. We decided to move in, the whole time thinking that when I move in his mom will move out. She hasn't and it's been six months. He has asked me to marry him and I told him not as long as his mom was living with us and he was like ok, that's not a problem...she can move back to Alabama (in her own house that's fully pd for).
Problem is......she has no intention of moving back b/c she feels like her son and Granddaughter can't do without her.
As much as I adore her, love her and respect her, two women can't run one home!
Should I move out?
Full Member

Joined: 07 May 2009
Posts: 231

Post Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:56 am

   Reply with quote  

HI tina,

This is your fiance's mother we're talking about, and it's not about running the house. Personally, she's already aging and aging people should be taken care of and at least give the attention they need (at their advancing age).

It's not about running the household. You have to understand her feelings, that as a mother to her son, she doesn't want to feel neglected, abandoned and far from him. As long as she's not being a monster-in-law to you, I don't think there will be a problem.

At their age, who will take care of her? At least she can take care of her grandchild if you don't . Sometimes, you should not only think about yourself. If that happens to you if you reach that certain age, do you want to be neglected by your child because of his/her spouse?

His mother only wants to spend her remaining moments with her son/grandchild, before she leave this world, shouldn't you feel guilty about this?

Remember that if not for his mom, you won't have a bf/fiance at this time, remember that.

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