Is "control freak" a really serious personality di

Postby animefan1688 » Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:08 am

I've encountered somebody whom some people say is a "control freak", however, this "control freak" is also regarded as a "perfectionist" in some other people's eyes.

So I'm puzzled because how can a person be a "control freak" and a "perfectionist" at the same time? The two characteristics are completely different in my view, it can almost be said that the two characteristics are two ends of a continuum, but I could be wrong, so is there any possible connection between the two?

Can anyone shred some light on this?
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#1

Postby jurplesman » Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:27 am

animefan1688 wrote:I've encountered somebody whom some people say is a "control freak", however, this "control freak" is also regarded as a "perfectionist" in some other people's eyes.

So I'm puzzled because how can a person be a "control freak" and a "perfectionist" at the same time? The two characteristics are completely different in my view, it can almost be said that the two characteristics are two ends of a continuum, but I could be wrong, so is there any possible connection between the two?

Can anyone shred some light on this?


I can see that a control freak is a perfectionist, although not all perfectionists will be a control freaks. That personality is dominated by excess secretion of adrenaline production as a result of an inner biological abnormality. Adrenaline is also a hormone that forces a person to focus on things, hence we might expect a certain rigidity in personality. A perfectionist is saying that "I am not good enough...I have to do better". Thus a perfectionist is really suffering from a low self-esteem. I have elaborated on this in:

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD) and Nutrition
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#2

Postby Ruby88 » Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:49 am

[quote="animefan1688"]I've encountered somebody whom some people say is a "control freak", however, this "control freak" is also regarded as a "perfectionist" in some other people's eyes.

So I'm puzzled because how can a person be a "control freak" and a "perfectionist" at the same time? The two characteristics are completely different in my view, it can almost be said that the two characteristics are two ends of a continuum, but I could be wrong, so is there any possible connection between the two?

Can anyone shred some light on this?[/quote]

No I'd have thought it was all wrapped up in the same thing. You want stuff doing right because you're a perfectionist, so you're unable to let anyone else take any level of control because you assume they're going to screw it up.

I have the same sort of problem myself. The trouble is, every time I try to let go and trust other people to do a good job, they don't. Grump....

:lol:
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#3

Postby Nigel » Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:03 pm

Hi animefan1688,

Hmm... suppose they do both share common characteristics.

I think what a 'perfectionist' does is more personal. Taking control of things in, or that effect, there own life in order to do and have things just right.

A 'control freak' on the other hands just likes to be in control of everything and everyone, regardless of whether it's in the pursuit some personal goal or not.

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#4

Postby Annie7788 » Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:23 pm

It's not the same thing. Someone who is a perfectionist does not necessarily impose their will on others.

Some people do not like perfectionism as they have different priorities in life and feel the needs of a perfectionist are irrelevant. They may therefore see perfectionism as a controlling activity, particularly when in a subordinate position to a perfectionist. They may call a perfectionist a control freak because they feel hemmed in by the need for a flawless end result. It may simply be a personality clash between someone who is very free spirited and finds themselves trapped in a world of detail they detest.

Perfectionism often finds its roots in insecurity and a need for approval. Being a true control freak on the other hand IMO has roots in possibly psychopathic personality or even sadism. But I think people use the term flippantly to poke fun at people they find too particular or ridgid for their taste.
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#5

Postby animefan1688 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:57 am

"It's not the same thing. Someone who is a perfectionist does not necessarily impose their will on others", yes, there's some element of truth in this statement because I think that a perfectionist keeps more to himself or herself, they don't necessarily want to control others, it's NOT even about other people, it's more about themselves, and what they want to to, it can almost be said that they don't want to show off how perfect they are, they just want to be perfect.

Control freaks on the other hand, don't care if they are perfect or not, as long as they're making sure that everybody else is below them, they are happy or satisfied with that, and that's serious personality disorder.
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#6

Postby animefan1688 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:07 am

And also, I think that's why Control Freaks like to take a little thing and blow it out of proportion, they'll never let go of other people's little mistakes, because that will never prove how great they are, see, that's what I'm talking about, as along as they are making sure everybody else is or appears to be "below" them, then they're perfectly satisfied with that, it's all about stepping on other people to make them look good.

Perfectionists on the other hand, focues entirely on themselves, they could care less about other people, they just want to perfect themselves in whatever way possible, even if no one existed in the whole world, they would still strive to be perfectionists because that's not for anybody, it's for themselves.
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#7

Postby Annie7788 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:50 pm

Many people who have achieved great things were perfectionists. For examples great writers, scientists, artists. You need a streak of perfectionism and a determination to get things right in order to achieve something like an artistic masterpiece or a piece of beautiful classical music. It's the pursuit of excellence. Control freaks, well they could be any guy who beats his wife, or a father who does not allow his children to grown healthy egos or the dictator of an oppressive regime.

Having said that when control freakishness is teamed up with altruism it can achieve a great deal for humanity because such people are very strong willed and deterimined to succeed at all costs. For example I've read that mother Teresa was a control freak in the way she ran her order, but look at what she achieved.

There are good and bad sides to every stereotypical category and there are also exceptions to the rule.
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#8

Postby desperate788 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:54 pm

nice to see you annie, have a great day:)
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#9

Postby Annie7788 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 5:43 pm

Hi Desperate - you too :)
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#10

Postby desperate788 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:40 pm

thank you very much annie:)
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#11

Postby animefan1688 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:15 pm

Yes, I see where you're coming from. The "mother Theresa" is a great example, but I don't think she is a control freak, she's more in the line of a perfectionist, because she's not doing what she's doing because she wants to show off how great she is, nor does she want to show that she's above everybody else, she's doing it for the good of mankind, because that's just who she is, she's not doing it because she wants to be recognized as this holy great person, she's doing it because she truly wants to do something for the good of mankind, see, that's what I'm talking about, for perfectionists, it's all about what they WANT to do and what they personally believe in, it has nothing to be with other people. Control freaks on the other hand, just want to be superior than others, their motivation come from showing off how great they are in comparison with others, and they derive their satisfaction from the humiliation of others and stepping on others to prove they are superior.

That's why I think the two are completely different, almost two ends of the continuum because their focal points are completely different.
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#12

Postby Annie7788 » Sun Jun 13, 2010 12:46 am

animefan1688 wrote:Yes, I see where you're coming from. The "mother Theresa" is a great example, but I don't think she is a control freak, she's more in the line of a perfectionist, because she's not doing what she's doing because she wants to show off how great she is, nor does she want to show that she's above everybody else, she's doing it for the good of mankind, because that's just who she is, she's not doing it because she wants to be recognized as this holy great person, she's doing it because she truly wants to do something for the good of mankind, see, that's what I'm talking about, for perfectionists, it's all about what they WANT to do and what they personally believe in, it has nothing to be with other people. Control freaks on the other hand, just want to be superior than others, their motivation come from showing off how great they are in comparison with others, and they derive their satisfaction from the humiliation of others and stepping on others to prove they are superior.

That's why I think the two are completely different, almost two ends of the continuum because their focal points are completely different.


I'm afraid I don't agree with either definition. I don't think control freaks are defined by wanting to be seen to be the best and I don't think perfectionists have a choice.

I think control freaks have the urge to dominate and control others and in fact control their own life. Whether they are seen to be superior by others is irrelevant to their drive. They have a fear that there will be a disaster if they are out of control.

Perfectionists have an urge to do things in the best way possible. To make sure nothing is swept under the carpet and that no boxes are left unticked.

I would adjust my earlier statement and say that there is a link in that they both have a fear of what will happen if they just let things be. A fear of chaos maybe.

But the perfectionist is not interested in controlling people unless that is their job. They want to make everything just right. But a control freak wants everyone to jump to their tune and not have a mind of their own.

I don't think these are opposites because the opposite of the control freak is someone who is easy going. The opposite of a perfectionist is a slob. I think where it gets confused is that there are control freaks who are also perfectionists because this gives them another thing to use in their control of others.
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#13

Postby animefan1688 » Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:23 am

you know the more I think about it, the more I disagree with how they described this person, they say that this person is a control freak, but that's not really how she is, and I'm starting to notice that after reading your comment and analysis about control freaks and what they really are.

This person in question is not really a control freak, he/she is just a condescending, demanding, and rude person who will stop at nothing to put the blame on others, because when things goes wrong, he/she is the first to point fingers at others, and dissociate him/herself from the issue, even though this person is partly responsible, he/she just like to think of themselves as "perfectionists" because this person always believes they're doing such a good job and everybody else is below them, or at least alot of people are below them, when in reality that's not true.
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#14

Postby Annie7788 » Sun Jun 13, 2010 11:37 am

Sounds like insecurity. Insecure people can be very unpleasant to others when they try to boost their fragile ego with self importance. Secure individuals do not need to prove status to feel valued.

Sounds like she does not find the job easy and takes frustrations out on other people
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