Permanent anxiety/depersonalization from weed

Postby Totenkopf » Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:33 am

Hello everybody, I registered here because I saw some interesting topics that I can relate to a lot. I have stopped smoking weed for about 8 months now, with a couple slip-ups, but it still feels like i am perma-stoned. From the time i was 16 till 19, i smoked weed on a daily basis - even up till 5 times a day. Ever since quitting, i have developed a whole array of different ailments. Extreme anxiety, depression, intrusive-obsessive thoughts, paranoia,depersonalization. I now feel like killing myself on a daily basis because i just see no hope for my future. Before i started smoking, i was a very intelligent, outgoing kid who woke up everyday with a plan to do something. Now i will leave the house maybe once in 2 weeks to go to the store or soemthing, and even then, the anxiety can be unbearable. I should mention that i also used other drugs sporadically during this time such as: (coke(for 1 yr), ecstasy, mdma, mda, shrooms, acid) and i regret every single usage...

I gave up weed, coke, and cigarettes all at the same time, so thats where i think i am getting this sharp anxiety from. It has already been 8 months tho, and i am not so optimistic if i will ever be myself again. That's the one thing i hope for is that one day this will all be a dark chapter in my mind... Unfortunately, i just read an article that said marijuana can have permanent effects on a teenagers brain so i am very worried about this and looking for guidance.

Thank you for listening and it feels good to know I am not the only one going through this personal hell!
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#1

Postby 2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily » Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:17 am

Totenkopf wrote:Hello everybody, I registered here because I saw some interesting topics that I can relate to a lot.

Unfortunately, i just read an article that said marijuana can have permanent effects on a teenagers brain so i am very worried about this and looking for guidance.

Hi Totenkopf

Take at look at this Harvard Report:

(Harvard) Good to know we can get our minds back
:arrow: http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/200 ... juana.html

I hope it helps
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#2

Postby Totenkopf » Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:34 am

Thanks for the link man! Although i cannot lie, that i am somewhat skeptical as it is 9 years old and apparently the weed is getting stronger even in that time frame.

Are there any members who have gone through similar circumstances to recover after a long period of time with abstinence? It has been almost 8 months since i quit now and i still feel like i am constantly stoned.

At times however, it seems to go away and i feel like my old self again. But it never seems to last for more than 10 minutes. :(
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#3

Postby 2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily » Thu Jul 01, 2010 4:28 am

Totenkopf wrote:Thanks for the link man! Although i cannot lie, that i am somewhat skeptical as it is 9 years old and apparently the weed is getting stronger even in that time frame.

Are there any members who have gone through similar circumstances to recover after a long period of time with abstinence? It has been almost 8 months since i quit now and i still feel like i am constantly stoned.

At times however, it seems to go away and i feel like my old self again. But it never seems to last for more than 10 minutes. :(

Re: It takes time

Hi Again..

It might not be just the weed that has created some of your problens. You should consider the issues that the coke, ecstasy, mdma, mda, shrooms and acid might have caused.

Biggiesize's story seems much like yours. As you can see by this summary of his journey it was a happy ending.

I hope these posts helps a little, losing the bad effects of weed withdrawal takes time, for some more time then others.

Congratulations on 8 months

wasblazzng420 wrote:Hey guys, I have not smoked green in 3 months and 5 days today.

I don't know why but im having a difficult time dealing with it sometimes I stress out about thinking if I will be able to sleep fine and I know it only makes it worse but I cant help it. I know insomnia is one of the withdraw symptoms but I thought that was only through the early stages of quitting so I thought about asking if anyone has experienced the same issue.

I feel like if I start to smoke again then maybe I wont have this issue anymore I hate it. Any help would be appreciated, thanks.


heavilylost wrote:
I still get the feeling that my head is still cloudy, and feel tired maybe because of a days work. After smoking it for 9 years how long should it be to get a clear head again does anybody have any answers. 4-6 weeks??

And what about the brain re-wiring i heard thats 6 months to a year??
How long was it before you felt totally normal again??
biggiesize wrote:Re: Will my brain get better?Getting frustrated after 4 months

Mon Nov 17, 2008 4:03 pm

Hi again everyone.Im sorry to keep going on about this same topic,but its really the biggest obstacle to my recovery.As I stated earlier,I stopped smoking weed on the first of July of this year.Its been 4 and a half months.But what is worrying me is my brain.It seems like its trying to recover.I notice improvements every few weeks but Im terrified that my brain will not totally heal.

Has anyone else taken a very long time for your brain to recover.I notice on some other posts that people experienced a breakthrough after about the 6 month.Is there hope that I will experince it too?Its getting depressing.All I want to do is be normal again.I remember life before weed.I didnt start smoking until I was 26 years old.It was the dumbest decision of my life.So I remember 26 years of how my brain felt without marijuana and I just want to get back to that.

biggiesize wrote:Thanks everyone.You are all aright.No matter how much I wish i would have never went down that path,the fact is that I did and I can change that.But like you all said,I can be glad that it didnt go on so long that it ruined my life.Im going to enjoy the rest of my life.

Im slowly seeing improvement everyday and that is helping alot!If I could just get these dang headaches to stop!lol.But once again,thanks to you all.

biggiesize wrote:Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:01 am

Hey everyone.i just want to Say thanks for all the advice on just enjoying where I am in life now.I was so busy every second of everyday waiting for the smallest change to occur in my head recovering that I wasnt enjoying life.After you all gave me the advice earlier in the week to just enjoy the moment im in now,

I started doing it that day and i swear that its been the best week i have had since I started smoking weed.Thanks to all of you for the help and advice.I saw an immediate difference after I started doing things that I enjoyed again instead of sitting there feeling scared that I had screwed my head up for good!

biggiesize wrote:Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:03 am

Just wanted to update everyone and let them know that My vision has cleared up 100 percent!My brain is almost totally recovered!I started using fish oil pills and it has helped tremendously with my memory.

biggiesize wrote:Re: 8 months clean.My recovery story.

Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:07 am

Hello everyone.Its been awhile since I posted anything but I thought today would be a good time for me to post as I celebrate 8 months clean.I remember the day that I stopped,8 months was one of the milestones that I thought about.I wondered how I would feel after 3 months,after 8 months and after a year.Well,some of you may remember from my earlier posts that the first few months were very difficult for me.I have since learned that marijuana affects everyone differently.Some people can quit and be fine in a month,but some people like myself,have to go through a period of the brain restructuring itself.This can take months or even years depending on the drug used and how long it was used. as for me,after 4 months,I still had distorted vision,I couldnt concentrate,and my cognitive abilities were out of whack.However about 5 months into my recovery,I started noticing improvements.

I took the advice of some awesome people on here and added vitimins,fish oil and exercise to my life and now Im happy to say that after 8 months,its like I never had any issues at all!Some peoples recovery takes alot longer than others.The neurotransmitters in the brain will have to repair themselves and it can be a very frustrating time.But I promise you that if you hang in there,the hazy fog of confusion will lift and your life will be better than you ever imagined.I wish you all the continued success in your journey of a new life and I promise you that you will not regret it."In the world of addiction,being a quitter is a good thing".

biggiesize wrote:Hello spark121,

As I read your entry,I was taken back about 10 months ago now to when my recovery first started.Like i said in some of my threads,My head was in another world.My vision was distorted,I couldnt think straight or reason things out.It was like I was walking around in what seemed like a hazy fog for the first few months and slowly it began to get better.

As of today,I feel as normal as anyone could feel.There will be a time of restructuring for your brain.It will get frustrating,but I encourage you to hang in there because it will get better.Life is so much better when you arent looking through the fog of marijuana or any other substance of abuse.I hope that you will hang in there and give your brain time to heal. Sometimes,the days and minutes will go by so slowly.but after the fog lifts and all of the thc is out of your system,you will be glad that you broke the addiction of marijuana.

Good luck to you.

biggiesize wrote:Hi there B.I just wanted to tell you that it is very possible that the parts of your brain that control emotions could still be repairing itself.You see,marijuana maniuplates the pleasure sensors in the brain over time and they become inactive or weakened.thus when you stop using drugs,these sensors have nothing to stimulate them and it could be the cause of your depression.

I am living proof that the brain can heal itself the longer that you go without polluting your brain with drugs.i celebrate one year clean next week and my brain had finally recovered.It will take time for you brain to rewire itself and form new connections but it will happen.Hang in there.

biggiesize wrote:Re: One year weed free!Happy anniversary to me!

Well everyone.Tomorrow is my one year clean.I laid down weed and never looked back.I found an old cell phone a few weeks ago with pictures of my former stoner friends and myself doing what we did best.Some people look back on those times and feel reminiscent of days gone by. I,however, felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.I couldnt believe what my life had become.I was living in a tuna can sized trailer that really needed some cleaning.In these pictures I saw a person that thought he was having the time of his life.Now As I view life without marijuana clouding my mind,

I realize that im only beginning to have the time of my life.It was not easy to get here.I had struggles with my brain restructuring itself,but here I am.Set time frames for yourself on the road to recovery.When you reach one,give yourself a pat on the back.Or better yet,take the money that you have saved from not buying weed and buy yourself something.You will feel great.Good luck to everyone whos journey is just beginning and whos journey has already started.

biggiesize wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:39 am

Hello all.

Thanks to you all for your kind words and congratulations.It was a long road but i finally got here.Flylots you were aking me to expound on the brain restructuring itself.I will explain it in the best terms I can as i am no Doctor.After the withdrawals subsided i thought it would be smooth sailing from there.I soon learned that I had months still ahead of me.I soon noticed that my vision was distorted,and my depth perception was out of whack.I couldnt reason things out and there were many cognitive issues that i had to deal with.

I began to panic thinking that I had fried my brain for good.I began to search the effects of thc on the brain.I learned that it affects the neorutransmitters in the brain and overstimulates them.Sometimes this can lead to them becoming inactive.It affects the memory area of the brain known as the hippocampus.It affects the cognitive area of the brain known as the cerebral cortex.

I soon learned that if given time the brain will rewire itself around the areas of the brain that connections had been lost.But it would take time.I had to be patient.I had severe headaches at times, pressure behind my eyes.It was terrible.But i was determined not to go back to weed.I just gave it time and soon notice that my brain was beginning to heal itself.It took about 8-9 months for me to begin to feel happiness again.You see the transmitters that sense pleasure in the brain had been dulled and needed time to heal.But after time,they started working again.So just hang in there and it will all work out.
[/quote]
biggiesize wrote:I noticed in your last response that you said that you had read some of my posts.I hope in some way that those gave you hope.It can be a scary thing wondering if you will ever be normal again.I know that you are at the 7 month mark,but I strongly urge you to hang in there.Marijuana affects everones brain wiring in a different way.It takes some alot longer to recover for some people that it does for others.You will eventually be 100 percent.Try adding some omega 3 to your diet.Its good for the brain.Most of all,dont spend every moment worrying yourself.Enjoy life and all it has to offer and eventually,you will find that the cloud has lifted and all is well.


biggiesize wrote:Sat Jun 19, 2010

The end of next month will be 2 years since I divorced the evil weed that eventually chokes all enjoyment and pleasure out of life.Oh yes,its fun at first,and even for a few years after that.For some people its even fun for decades.

I finally came to the realization that the fun had ended for me and all the joy had been sucked out of my life by this plant that slowly smothers and takes over your life.

At first quitting was a horrible nightmare for me.You can read some of my old posts and see that It took my brain quite awhile to recover.But now,almost 2 years later,I realize that the determination I had that monday morning to quit smoking and never look back was an overpowering force that kept driving me and telling me that life can be better than what I was living through a foggy haze.Im happy to report to you that life is a million times clearer and all the joy and happiness has returned to living.for everyone struggling,fight the good fight.Reach down inside of yourself and find the determination that we all have to want whats best for ourselves and our loved ones.If you focus on your determination,you will beat it.Each minute will turn into a day,each day to a week,and each week into a year.Beat it one craving at a time and eventually as the time passes,you will be a better clear headed person.Good luck my friends.

You might want to take a look at his some of biggiesize's recent threads:
:arrow: http://www.uncommonforum.com/profile.ph ... le&u=35484
(Click on Find all posts by biggiesize in the upper right corner)
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#4

Postby Totenkopf » Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:28 pm

Well, its good to see that in given time he was able to make a full recovery; i just hope i will one day be in the same boat. My 8 month mark has seen some minor improvements but i am stll struggling quite a bit.

2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily, I really appreciate the responses and reassurance!
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#5

Postby Totenkopf » Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:57 pm

Anybody else having any thoughts on this?
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#6

Postby 2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily » Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:23 am

Totenkopf wrote:2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily, I really appreciate the responses and reassurance!

Anybody else having any thoughts on this?

Hi Totenkopf

I honestly don't know if the coke, ecstasy, mdma, mda, shrooms and acid might have contributed to your condition. It may be you are just suffering with depression or some other treatable disorder. If your mental health does not improve you might want to see a doctor that you feel comfortable with. It couldn't hurt.

I dug up a few threads that might be helpful?

Ecstasy triggering my panic attacks?
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... mda#401462

proof of ecstasy causing mental health problems?
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... mda#228890

There has to be something more to this depression
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... asy#570704
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#7

Postby Totenkopf » Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:08 pm

Without a doubt I know that the harder drugs definitely have a part in my current situation. I just put a lot of the blame on weed because towards the end of my smoking days i had a ton of anxiety and felt the same as i do now (to a much lesser degree of course). It`s just very difficult living like this especially considering i was the only one out of my friends who has ended up like this. I just turned 20 years old and this is supposed to be the prime of my life,,,Instead, this last 8 months has been a living hell and i honestly don`t know how much longer i can put up with this. The only hope i have is that in time my brain will re-wire itself and i can say that in the last 3 months, small improvements have been made.

Sorry for the rant, i just gotta get some stuff off my chest. The fact that even if i do recover, i will be so far behind in almost every aspect of life. No drivers license, only 1 or 2 friends left, no girlfriend or girls interested in 3 years. No real skills besides a love for history and philosophy which will get me nowhere without a good education, sigh...
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#8

Postby DazedRob » Sat Jul 03, 2010 9:47 pm

Good to see that you are taking Help again ND. Hope you don't get back to posts like "Relapse after 8 1/2 months".

Try natural remedies like meditation, yoga and listen to motivational speeches. Its all in mind. Working on the mind and influencing it with positive energy generally takes care of many/any issue. Good luck!
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#9

Postby Totenkopf » Sun Jul 04, 2010 12:18 am

DazedRob wrote:Good to see that you are taking Help again ND. Hope you don't get back to posts like "Relapse after 8 1/2 months".

Try natural remedies like meditation, yoga and listen to motivational speeches. Its all in mind. Working on the mind and influencing it with positive energy generally takes care of many/any issue. Good luck!


Positive thinking definitely can help out a lot. Who is ND? And if you're referring to me, there is no way i would ever do a drug again after how f***ed it has made me!
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#10

Postby super47 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:40 pm

There is a HUGE difference between permanent and 8 months later. If you still have problems in 8 years, then you can call it permanent. Then again you may have some problem that wasn't caused by drugs. Many people blame weed for causing anxiety for life, but odds are that those people were going to have problems with anxiety regardless, and that's probably why they were prone to addiction.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine!
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#11

Postby Totenkopf » Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:52 pm

Valid point made. Before i got into drugs, i would still have a little bit of anxiety, but nothing compared to what it is today. And I guess that i am just getting impatient with my recovery time; but who wouldn't when they have 8 months of feeling absolutely f***ed!
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#12

Postby pokerpro » Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:11 am

Hey Toten,

Congrats on having stopped the weed for over 8 months now.

I wouldnt worry too much about your future dude, you mentioned your've just turned 20; your still a pup!! I duno about being in your prime when your 20 years old, your've still got ages to go before your "prime" is over.

Definitely looking at chanelling your passions though and dont worry about things like lack of a girlfriend.. dont take this the wrong way but your still a kid and you have a long way to go. So be happy about that you have your whole life ahead of you!

I know when your 20 alot of us tend to think we know everything.. i know myself and alot of my mates did.. then you'll hit 30 and you'll look back on how you were at 20 and you will laugh at yourself. Im guessing the same happens when your 40 and then 50 and so on.

All the best with everything though bro.. if my post has any point whatsoever its that your very young still and thats something to be happy about.. although you may not see it now trust me its a good thing.

peace and best wishes
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#13

Postby LostTime » Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:33 am

Hey Totenkopf,

It's the mdma or other hard drugs that cause permanent damage. Weed is not known to do that. Pretty much other than general organ damage all cognition and mental health is reversable. I've heard of antidepressants ability to rewire the brain after the damage from hallucinogens. You might want to consider that if you feel that after a year or more your depression has not lifted. But I sense that you'll be alright with time.
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#14

Postby Totenkopf » Mon Jul 05, 2010 6:20 pm

Pokerstar: You sort of put things in a better perspective for me. I guess I am just worrying about my future too much as i see my friends and classmates doing very good in their lifes and it makes me feel like a useless piece of sh**. But you're right, i am still young and hopefully have the oppurtunity to turn my life around.

Lost Time: It's good to hear that most mental health problems can be reversable. At first I wouldn't think it was true, but even during my recovery time, progress has been made and the anxiety has recessed a little bit. If it was permanent, i doubt we would see that recession. I considered presciption drugs at one point but am not too sure about the long term effects of them and i heard of some people having some nasty side effects. But if that's true about the ability to re-wire the brain, then i might have to re-consider and just live with some adverse effects for a little while...

Thanks for the advice, guys!
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