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backdown_and_upAgain
New Member
Joined: 12 Jul 2010
Posts: 7
Tue Jul 13, 2010 11:21 am
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| feeling threatened |
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HI, I m 22.This is my very first post.
I am doin a course at an institute. There's a guy, who joined our batch recently. He is very confident, strong and has a girlfriend with whom he sits everyday.
I have him in my mind whenver i m in the classroom and i stop feelin about other people in classroom. i cant feel myself.. i start pretending without knowing.I have a belief that he is looking at me but he aint. I also think that what am i goin to do if i get into fight with him, which scares me..i duuno i have this urge to get into fight with him or to irritate him.
It used to be so good before he joined my batch.Now I could nt even concentrate on the mentor now. I have never talked to him. I just go, sit with 2 mates and comeback home.
whats wrong here ? i feel sad about this..any reply would help.. thanks for ur time. |
crystalr0w3
Full Member
Joined: 07 May 2009
Posts: 132
Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:53 am
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Yes, you are feeling threatened, but it's as only as far as your mind can conceive. I mean, it's only in your mind.
Why worry about something which never happened yet, anyway? This is very common in many situations especially when there's a "new kid on the block", especially he's the confident kind.
But if I were you, I'll just do my own thing, and set aside those prejudices in your mind. It's easy to feel that way, since you don't know him well, yet.
Just keep an open mind about him and do your own stuff; for all you know, you may end up being friends with him! |
backdown_and_upAgain
New Member
Joined: 12 Jul 2010
Posts: 7
Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:51 pm
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I dun think positive person would think or worry that much as i do. I havve observed my mind sayin negative to me.
@What can i do about it..I wanna change my negative thought pattern.
@I got myself into self development after gettin bullied for 1 year.. that bullyin made me get into self development and soul searchin...from 2006 to 2009 I learned only one thing that i have low self est and i need to change it to high, but i didnt know how( ignoring how question in my mind which happened automatically, i kept tryin to improve my self esteem).. When i started givin up after relapsing again and again coz of no improvement.I started accepting articles that are on self help..
then i came to know self esteem is a overall evaluation. self esteem cant be put as an objective to improve urself.
now i dun focus on improving self esteem. I just do my everyday work.. where ever i feel somethin wrong inside me .. i try to evaluate whats wrong and google it and try to see what exactly happened to me and how can i stop it.
am i on right track ???
srry for such a big post.. i kind of wanted to tell .. |
backdown_and_upAgain
New Member
Joined: 12 Jul 2010
Posts: 7
Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:54 pm
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I have seen articles like -- how to improve self esteem but personally i dunt think it can be put as an personal objective as i wont be able to know what to improve in order to improve my self est.There are many things that can improve self esteem.
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offplanet
Full Member
Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Posts: 103
Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:59 am
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I thinkyou are on the right track, to be reading articles on self esteem. There is a lot of very helpful stuff online about it. I know what its like to be super aware of one person in a room, and let it affect you. I'm working on not doing that, myself. I was advised to construct an imaginary invisible bubble around myself, in which I was safe from the influence of other people and could be what I felt like without reference to them. Otherwise, I used to feel quite vulnerable to 'what other people might be thinking of me'. Now it doesn't matter, an I can keep my own mood. |
backdown_and_upAgain
New Member
Joined: 12 Jul 2010
Posts: 7
Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:43 am
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^^ Thankyou for replying offplanet AND crystalrow3. I really appreciate 
i have been to 2 psychologist long time back .. both i found not that helpful to me.Planning to give it another try. |
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