anxietybucket, make sure you go see someone! I started seeing someone about 8 or 9 months ago and it helped a little bit strait away just because I knew there was someone I could talk to about it or email about it. It's taken me about 10 months but I think (I hope) that I am out of the worst of it.
I have found myself able to enjoy my boyfriends company again, enjoy sex, enjoy watching movies, making out! I enjoy it all. I even find myself light headed at the thought of him! I don't wake up every day thinking about break-up or leaving him. I am not 100% yet, but I am close. There is hope!
I too have gone through stages where I thought I might be in love with my ex-boyfriend. To tackle this I thought, "If I was in love with my ex-boyfriend, I would want to see him. Do I want to see him? Would I be happy to have coffee with him?" and the answer was always NO. I think my ex is a loser and I wish I had never gone out with him... why would I stlll be in love with him? That's just what I did, but you may find another way of questioning that fear. Remember, even if you respect your old boyfriend or wish to see him and be friends, that does not mean that you are in love with him or do not care for your current boyfriend! Challenge those thoughts!
What it probably means is that your anxiety is making you pick at the relationship and look for problems within it so that you have an 'excuse" to break-up. But you are just searching because you are anxious! I DEFIANTLY did and could not stop. But that's what you need to try and do - stop questioning and (as my psychologist says) "enjoy the process" of being with someone.
Something else my psychologist said I was doing was sabotaging the relationship
. She said that often people with depression and sometimes anxiety tend to do this, so when it fails they can say "see, I told you it was bad" etc etc. This is negative thinking and you need to re-train yourself not to think like that. There is a great book my phychologist told me about that can help with this called "change your thinking" by Sarah Edelman.
What I actually found helped me in the end was a herb! It's called St John's Wart and has the same effect as a light anti-depressant, without the nasty side effects. I take it three times a day with food and OHMYGOD it helped SO MUCH. So, so much! The only problem is that it can effect the effectiveness of other medication, such as the pill. So be careful and use condoms if you're taking it. But try it at least.
I hope you are doing better than you were. There is light! And it's very possible that your relationship can last this.