Anxiety and Love

#2220

Postby Leah09 » Fri Oct 13, 2017 1:07 pm

Hey! How are you?
I’m haven’t read all of this thread I’m just wondering if you have gone through something similar to me? And if so how did the relationship go? I’m on medication and tablets and I just feel like my body is just rejecting my boyfriend at this point my anxroty has gotten so bad
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#2221

Postby Rnsm » Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:03 pm

Hey Leah! So yes I've been feeling exactly what you've been feeling. I'm still fighting to be with my boyfriend, because I know I love him. I wish there was some way I could maybe make you feel better, but just know you aren't alone.
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#2222

Postby Leah09 » Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:13 pm

It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one.
I hope things are getting better for you.
That’s why I keep fighting is because I want to be with him and I know I love him. He’s worth the suffering.
One things that’s started to happen me lately though is feeling anxious when I’m with him and feeling like I should go.... I can be laughing and having god best time but still feel that feeling in the pit of my stomach .... it’s like I’m alwahs aware of the anxiety Yano....
I described it to my therapist today as it’s like my body is rejecting him... making me nervous and anxious all the time have you experienced this?
We can get through this though!
Our boyfriends will be our prizes we are worth it and so are they!
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#2223

Postby Rnsm » Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:15 pm

That's actually started to happen to me too. I actually got a lot better but we are getting engaged soon and I think I'm getting more paranoid. When I'm happy, laughing, even texting him I randomly get feelings of anxiety and I'm aware of it because my heart starts beating faster for no reason. I really am pushing and trying my best to overcome it!
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#2224

Postby Leah09 » Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:33 pm

It’s horrible isn’t it? I love him with all my heart but sometimes I feel so empty and numb when I look at him and that sets the anxiety off worse! Have you taken any meds or seen a therapist?
I’m doing both at the minute
One things that’s nice is my therapist said to me today that she knows we can get through this and she said she is fully convinced my boyfriend is my my soul mate she said the way I get so emotional talking about him tells her all she needs to know and that was lovely to hear! Wow engaged?! Congrats that’s to exciting! That’s a big commitment and I’d say that’s exactly what’s setting off your anxiety, you got through it’s once though no doubt you can get through it again!
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#2225

Postby Rnsm » Fri Oct 13, 2017 7:47 pm

Thanks Leah! I remember like a few months ago, I was dying to get engaged and now it makes me panic! I really am hoping it all goes away :( it's so aweful
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#2226

Postby Leah09 » Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:04 am

I know how horrible it is, I spent the night with my boyfriend last night and woke up and for a few minutes felt no anxiety and cuddled into him and it was great felt normal again and when he left for work it all came back and I have that horrible nervous and sick feeling in my tummy..... can’t wait for all this to be gone
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#2227

Postby Leah09 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:12 pm

I feel like I have panicked and worried myself to the point where I can’t feel anything for my boyfriend anymore even though I know I love him
My body and brain is telling me to run and and things but I can’t I won’t.
I feel so frustrated and angry and just upset I let it get to this point
My therapist thinks it’s the medication and that this time next week most of the anxiety will go
I spent the morning with my boyfriend and although I was sad and upset because I can’t feel anything he just left me home and I feel like I want him back here how weird is that?
I seriously can’t wait for this to be over I miss my boyfriend and the way things used to be
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#2228

Postby Rnsm » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:02 pm

Hey :( I'm struggling just as much as you. This is by far the worst thing we can go through. I don't want to go on medication for all this, but it's so difficult :'(
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#2229

Postby Leah09 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:37 pm

Hey
I feel so empty it’s horrible
Everything inside me telling me to run and we need to break up and I can’t I just can’t
He won’t be able to come in and see me in the next few days and I’m so scared it’s just gonna put in nail in the coffin and make things worse and I will fall out of love and I know how stupid that sounds but I’m terrified to death of it
Why does this happen? Seems like everything good I get in life falls apart and it’s my fault
Going back to my doctor tomorrow as my boyfriend thinks the medication is making me worse
How was your day?
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#2230

Postby Leah09 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 10:21 am

Hey,
Went to the doctor this morning and got my medication changed. She told me I had been put on a medication for depression as opposed to anxiety. So she put me on the correct medication. I really hope this works. I feel so terrible nearly ended everything with him last night because it all got too much and everything in me was telling me to run because this isn’t what you want anymore. But I didn’t because I know this ain’t what I want. I want him and I want to be with him I just hope I pray we can get through this. It’s gotten to the point now where is like I’m not bothered with him anymore and that’s really bothering me I’m hoping and praying we can get through this. Maybe the medication change is what I needed fingers crossed
Hope you are doing well!
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#2231

Postby BriKH » Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:27 am

Hey guys, like everyone, I am grateful that I have found a support group like this. Especially while going through my similar relationship anxiety that has made me look up things on google, triggering worse anxiety when I see the title "how to know you need to break up" and terrible, misguided things like that.

Background: I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 years now, lived together for about 10 months. A few weeks ago I have had these thoughts that I don't know if I love my boyfriend anymore. The timeline of this (and leading up to, not sure if all is connected [some could be just normal stressful thoughts]) anxiety has been:
-becoming super insecure about knowing if my boyfriend wants to marry me anymore (we have always talked about getting married; about 4 months into our relationship. If it wasn't for our age and finances [now 20] we would be married, there's more behind this, but I'll save it for another post if anyone is interested)
-not being able to get the reassuring that I think I needed (I don't think I let on how much this was affecting me, plus this was a stressful time for both of us (outside stress), and it's not uncommon for my bf to feel emotionally blocked)
-becoming terrified that I'm annoyed by him because I couldn't sleep when he was slightly snoring (from my childhood I used to hear my dad snore [emotionally abusive dad] and couldn't stand snoring most of my life. Whenever he's made noises sleeping previously, I've prided myself on never being annoyed)
-becoming terrified that we have lost our spark. Trying to deal with this myself by picking random times looking at him, trying to create that "warm/loving" feeling in my chest that DID still happen to me looking back. Now this has just become a tight pain in my chest
-thinking I don't love my boyfriend, then reflecting on our relationship thinking I never loved him?!?
-constantly analyzing things he's doing, him acting fun and silly became triggers for my anxiety, comparing us to other relationships in my life wishing we should be "happier" like them
-constantly feeling anxiety no matter where I am, always having thoughts about him that cause anxiety

I am currently seeing a councilor, I don't know if she's helping or if she has an approach I want. Up until now, I have had a wonderfully happy relationship. We have been through a ton, and I have never doubted us (even when he did and he broke up with me this time last year for a few weeks; more him dealing with outside stress. FYI he has assured me it was the biggest mistake). I have told him everything, and he empathizes and wants to do better by me because of the funk he was going through. I don't want to brake up with him, but all my thoughts lead me to "that" answer. I'm terrified these thoughts has ruined a relationship I very much want to last forever. I do love him, but when anxiety hits, it's almost impossible to tell myself otherwise. Sorry if this is all over the place, I just need people I can relate with and vent to, hopefully lol.
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#2232

Postby Leah09 » Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:41 am

Hi there sorry about the late reply,
It’s been a bad week for me,
I know exactly what your going through, for me it Dosent matter if I have the best time ever with my boyfriend and I feel like everything is back to normal and wake up the next day and boom all the thoughts are still there,
This week I went through hell, I woke up on Tuesday morning and I felt the worst I had ever in my life. I had a moment of madness where I decided I didn’t want to have to deal with this anymore but I love my boyfriend and didn’t want to break up with him so I took all my pills and tried to kill myself. I felt that was my only way I could escape . I am fine thankfully it was a big shock to my family an friends but especially my boyfriend who took it really badly. We had a few days apart due to his car breaking down and when I saw him after a few days I felt the way I did when I first met him I was just so excited to see him and I looked at him with awe because he is the most amazing person I have ever met. I thought this is it its all over. Fast forward 2 days and here I am back and square one again .... terrified of seeing him and feeling nothing even though I love him so much. I know exactly what your going through and it’s hell . I describe it as someone putting your boyfriend on front of you and showing you every nice thing about him and then taking him away and saying no you can’t have him.
It’s heartbreaking.
I really hope your situation gets better. For me Iv hit rock bottom but After what happened on Tuesday I see it as I survived for a reason and that’s enough to tell me to keep fighting.
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#2233

Postby BriKH » Sun Oct 22, 2017 4:59 pm

Have you been to any couples therapy? I was thinking about beginning that with my boyfriend. Your situation might not be the same as mine, but I think this has all come from a gradual build of stress we've both had that's been keeping us from being each others priorities
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#2234

Postby Soph123 » Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:35 pm

Hi everyone
I had to reply to this post because I have been through "relationship anxiety" and felt the need to write something.
Thoughts like do I love him consumed me for almost 2 years. Underneath all my anxious thoughts was really the fear of loosing him, even if sometimes it really didn't feel like it. But I realised it was these bad thoughts that made me feel bad, it wasn't that I felt this way about him, it was the thoughts that were driving me insane.
Things that helped me was to know the truth about love. Love is not a feeling, it is an action and when I focussed on wanting this feeling back so bad it would never come. I needed to let go of the thoughts by saying to myself I don't really care if I feel like crap I'm going to love him anyway cause he deserves it. And slowly the thoughts started to diminish for me.
I really hope this makes sense. X
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