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Addictions and Habits Resources
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d0rkyd00d
Junior Member
Joined: 10 Aug 2007
Posts: 26
Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:41 pm
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| I'm Back, Day 5 (kind of) |
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Hi All....
It's been a long time since I've posted here. Too long. I have tried continuously over the past 6 years to quit, and of course, have been failing miserably.
For a long time, I've been afraid to even try again. Afraid that I would fail. Afraid that I would end up with another disappointment. Afraid of the terrible negative emotions associated with quitting.
But alas, here I am. My week thus far has been I smoked Monday morning, then after spending hours of sitting on my duff instead of being productive, I tossed everything. Didn't smoke the rest of Monday or Tues. Wed night I ripped the pipe twice with my buddy, hoping that maybe a little would ease the pain and not set me back too far. Boy was I wrong. Yesterday was one of the most stressful / tense and irritable days yet. Last night, I spent an hour after getting home sifting through cat litter on the floor for bits of weed I might've dropped. I barely gathered enough for half a rip, and I think I got some foreign entities in there too, because I was a little nauseous.....
So here I am, on day 5 (kind of). I actually haven't had trouble sleeping because I am taking some all natural sleeping stuff which has helped a ton.
The weekend looms ahead. Sadly, I have my medical MJ license, so I can go to the store any time I want to to get "medicine." I am praying with all my heart I can last.
I know why I always quit. I want to be more social. More productive. Have more money. Spend more time with family. Be more witty. More giving. More kind. More adventurous. More confident. I realize that whatever convinces me otherwise is the black tar that has infected my mind and body, taking on a life of its own, the pulsing and throbbing embodiment of addiction. I know each day that goes by that I"m irritated is the beast within slowly starving, crying out in pain and suffering. I just want it to stop.
Wanting isn't enough, though. If I had a choice, I'd ship myself off to a foreign land for a couple of months so I didn't have any way of getting it, or caring to get it. I just hope I can make it through. |
jurplesman
Super Member
Joined: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 11459
Location: Sydney, Australia
Sun Aug 01, 2010 2:55 am
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HI d0rkyd00d,
It will be well-nigh impossible to withdraw from drugs by sheer willpower. It is a disease and not so much a "psychological" problems.
The first step is going on a Hypoglycemic Diet. Gradually withdrawing from marijuana comes next. |
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