Hi resistant. Thanks for sharing your story. How has the quitting been going?
This month has been up and down. I've had to re-quit about 4 times. I've found my boyfriend to be not very supportive of my quitting, and I think he thinks I'm making a big deal out of this for nothing. I have gone from smoking daily (I would smoke 2-3 bowls per evening) to about once per week. I intended to QUIT, not cut back.
The things that drew me back into smoking was: the first week after I quit, I pulled my back out. I was in a lot of pain, so my boyfriend went out and got me some over-the-counter muscle relaxants (Robaxacil or something of that nature). He then said "I don't want to peer pressure you, but I know something that might help the pain...." So I ended up smoking a bowl to help with the pain. I can't remember if it helped or not. That's just the thing, weed makes it so hard for me to remember what happened when, or to feel connected to my feelings and emotions.
So, after that I said "Ok, quit time" again. I may have gone 2 weeks of quitting at this point, but when Christmas rolled around, all of my friends were over, and they were smoking weed, hash, oil... the works. They said "come on, it's christmas, it's not like you do this every day." I gave in. I smoked twice, once on christmas eve, and again on christmas day. On Christmas day, I ended up feeling extremely anxious and I just didn't feel good.
That was the last time I smoked. I fear that on New Years eve, these friends will say "oh come on, it's new years" but after the past month, I can see more clearly that weed is not my friend, and I don't need to succumb to my friends pressuring me. They might not think it's a big deal to smoke it, and I am not pressuring them to quit, or making them feel bad for doing whatever it is they choose. But I really hope in the future they won't try to pressure me, just to make justifications for their own actions.
About a month ago I started seeing a psychiatrist who has asked me to quit weed to proceed with therapy. I feel guilty for this month of off and on, because I should have just outright QUIT. I'm afraid to admit to the therapist about these troubles, because I don't want him to dismiss me from therapy. I'm ready to quit, and I won't allow any more pressures. Yes, it's the holidays, but that's a poor excuse to get shitfaced/eat a lot/whatever the case may be.
So far I have felt no positive effects of quitting, my brain still feels a bit scrambled and foggy. I know that I will need several months to a year to feel good again. These setbacks have shown me even more how determined I am to get this out of my life. It's hard when the people around me still do it, but they're taking incentive from me quitting. They've said "well, I don't want to smoke it alone, I feel lame." I hope everyone around me will make positive choices for themselves.
So, today it's been 5 days since I've smoked. January 25th will be 1 month, and I am looking forward to that day. I have to stay strong. Please update me on your quitting processes and share your stories. Those stories are what helped me along in the first place.