Uncomfortable being loved

Postby MSand » Sun Jan 02, 2011 1:07 pm

Ok, I've been searching all over the net trying to research this type of condition so I'm just wondering if maybe you guys can point me in a good direction. I'm trying to do my own research, I can't really afford therapy unfortunately, so here's the story.

I love my family and friends dearly, but it makes me so uncomfortable when people say they love me, or express love for me. I can actually feel my body tense up when they say they love me.

I realize this seems like self esteem issues, and I don't know if this is quite that. I say that because I really do love and respect myself, I'm proud of who I am, but for whatever reason, I just don't expect others to.

Any ideas as to what might be going on?
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#1

Postby EleGirl » Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:36 pm

How do you react when people complement you?

How about when people take photos of you?
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#2

Postby MSand » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:56 am

As far as photos go, I don't really mind, I'm not one to jump in front of the camera or anything, but if someone asks me to pose for a picture I don't really mind. Although I don't consider myself too photogenic so I probably don't like 70% of them or so.

It does make me somewhat uncomfortable when people compliment me, I mean, I appreciate the ego food, but I'm just not one who seeks to be the center of attention often, unless I'm with a group of friends and no one is seeming to be having a good time, then I'll start cracking jokes and doing what I can to see to it they loosen up and have some fun.
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#3

Postby crystalr0w3 » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:18 am

MSand wrote:Ok, I've been searching all over the net trying to research this type of condition so I'm just wondering if maybe you guys can point me in a good direction. I'm trying to do my own research, I can't really afford therapy unfortunately, so here's the story.

I love my family and friends dearly, but it makes me so uncomfortable when people say they love me, or express love for me. I can actually feel my body tense up when they say they love me.

I realize this seems like self esteem issues, and I don't know if this is quite that. I say that because I really do love and respect myself, I'm proud of who I am, but for whatever reason, I just don't expect others to.

Any ideas as to what might be going on?



Hi Msand. Perhaps you're not the affectionate kind. For me, I like receiving those kinds of gestures and loving tenderness. It means you are loved dearly by your fam and friends, so there's no shame in that. It's good being loved than not being loved at all. Get used to it.

:)
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#4

Postby MSand » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:34 am

Hey Crystalr0w3, thanks for taking the time to read my post. I totally agree with you, I'm sure I'd feel a lot worse if no one said or did things that show that I'm loved which is what confuses me so much about it. I mean those types of things should make me feel good and yet it makes me uncomfortable, which is the opposite of what you would think one would feel. I'm a very analytical person, and I'm always in human psychology so maybe I'm just over thinking this, I'm just curious as to what might lead someone to experience this type of reaction. :)
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