Will the Ex ever contact me again??

Relationships and families - wonderful when they're working, distressing when they're not.

Postby Archimedes » Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:18 pm

I dated a girl for almost a year. I was completely head over heels for this girl and things were great. We were best friends, did everything together. Then I caught her lying to me, when she took a plane to visit her ex in Boston (she told me she was visiting her parents for the weekend). I forgave her, and forgot about it (big mistake). A month or two later she is acting real weird and distant, saying she needs time alone, we hadn't spoken for 2 weeks.

Next Thing I know a mutual friend pulls me aside to tell me that she had gotten engaged to her ex (within the two weeks we weren't speaking). I confronted her about it and its all true. Of course my life collapsed completely after this news.

I saw her one more time before she left to move in w the new hubby. She said goodbye (w sex) and that was it.

I have not seen or spoken to her since. Its been about 8 months now and there are still parts of me that miss her. obviously getting back together is not a choice and I never wanted that anyways. I was just wondering if she will ever contact me again. It would be nice to get an apology or something from her. I really was a great bf to her and she knows it, so I find it hard to just be tossed away.

Is it an eventuality that she will call me or can someone literally erase a person out of their life??
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Postby Donkey » Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:21 pm

Forget her mate. Seriously. Here's why:

When you invest your energy into one person you start to become attached and clingy. Your mind is geared into thinking what she is doing, where she is and who she is with. You begin to forget about yourself and what you want to do with your life.

If she can't appreciate you then don't bother, go and find someone else.

My advice would be to start meeting more women at coffee shops, parks, the street, work, university etc. Avoid meeting girls at nightclubs and bars: trust me on that (unless you are looking for a one night stand).

When you start to meet new people your attachment for one woman loosens.

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Postby Datura » Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:04 pm

Yes she will contact you again once her marriage sours. Block her email, number, etc. Even if she were to offer an apology, it will only hinder your ability to get over her, and would not be beneficial even though you believe otherwise.

Be a great boyfriend to someone else.
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Postby jessicapuppy » Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:01 am

Many people will do whatever they feel they have to, in order to get by! If it is easier for her to cut you off, in order to stop her facing any guilt she may have or having to deal with any questions that you may have, then she will.
If she ever feels sorry for what she has done, then great, but don't wait around for it. By the sounds of things she is her own number one priority, & you would be much better off putting all of your emotions & energy into moving on yourself.
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Postby Liam_680 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:03 am

her contacting you again can or may not happen.. it really depends and the situation is very complicated so i say its better not to keep your hopes up. Yes you miss her but you should remember that it was her who made a mistake. And with that you shouldnt have any regrets, you did your best, you didnt do anything wrong, with or without apology, you can be at peace slowly learn to let go.
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Postby theforsaken » Sat Mar 05, 2011 10:14 am

**** that man, not only would I not want her to contact me, but I would also want to murder both her and the ex.

if someone put me through that kind of hell, the last thing I would want it to see or talk to them again.
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Postby ellla » Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:48 pm

Archimedes wrote:I dated a girl for almost a year. I was completely head over heels for this girl and things were great. We were best friends, did everything together. Then I caught her lying to me, when she took a plane to visit her ex in Boston (she told me she was visiting her parents for the weekend). I forgave her, and forgot about it (big mistake). A month or two later she is acting real weird and distant, saying she needs time alone, we hadn't spoken for 2 weeks.

Next Thing I know a mutual friend pulls me aside to tell me that she had gotten engaged to her ex (within the two weeks we weren't speaking). I confronted her about it and its all true. Of course my life collapsed completely after this news.

I saw her one more time before she left to move in w the new hubby. She said goodbye (w sex) and that was it.

I have not seen or spoken to her since. Its been about 8 months now and there are still parts of me that miss her. obviously getting back together is not a choice and I never wanted that anyways. I was just wondering if she will ever contact me again. It would be nice to get an apology or something from her. I really was a great bf to her and she knows it, so I find it hard to just be tossed away.

Is it an eventuality that she will call me or can someone literally erase a person out of their life??


Quite normal to miss someone you were /are in love with. Although you need to keep in mind that if she were to contact you again it might not necessarily be a positive thing. She could come back only to break your heart all over again.

She's already demonstrated the capability.
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Postby loveround » Tue Mar 08, 2011 5:42 pm

most likely she wont. she has her new phase of life with her family now.
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