The other night I had a dream that my mother had died. I didn’t see her die or see her dead body, I was told by my father that she had died unexpectedly. Obviously this was very shocking and in the dream I was crying a lot and couldn’t believe it was true. The dream moved on through time and I was always crying both at the fact she was gone and and I think because I felt sorry for my father and brother too.
Last night I talked about this to my girlfriend and as I was doing so I burst into tears as if I was feeling those feelings I had in the dream. We talked about it and sort of realised the dream is a reflection of the relationship I have with my Mother and Father, that is one with very little emotion or closeness, and the fact I wish it were different and better, and the sadness was a result of that.
She also said something like ‘you do realise your parents love you though’ and I thought yes I do now, but definitely not growing up, and in fact I felt that my mother hated me when I was growing up. Thinking that made me even more sad and angry, and to a certain extent desperate in some sense.
So can this dream mean more than a lack of emotion that I feel now or can it be more related to the negative emotion I felt growing up?