Alcohol has a really wierd and addictive effect on me

Discussions in anxiety, panic attacks, phobias and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Practical help for anxiety disorders.

Postby citizen » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:39 pm

When I was a kid, I couldn't see things unless they were threatening enough. My parents were always fighting. As I got older, I studied people's behavior so much that I was more and more able to relax. My mind still focuses on random phrases that might be about me from people in my surroundings though, sometimes causing me to miss social cues. For the most part, people can't tell that I am much different than them and I don't have much trouble getting the reactions I want from people. I used to be really stoic but I have gotten in the habit of showing emotion when people expect me to (but not negative emotions - not because I am suppressing them but because I understand everything about the situation and nothing is surprising)

I am a computational theorist (type of mathematician) and I understand a lot of high level reasoning that can be applied to many different disciplines. Thus I really have a lot of interesting things to say on a lot of different subjects. I also have spent a lot of time debating with others, and know how to word things to be persuasive.

I always felt with the knowledge level that I have, I should be a much better conversationalist especially in groups. One on one I am pretty good, but I miss social cues all the time especially when it comes to dating. It's like even though I understand so much I am still stuck observing every detail of my surroundings just to get that last .00001 percent of understanding.

Well enter alcohol and all the suddenly become a cult leader or something. I never miss any social cue, and the wide bank of persuasive techniques is put to full use. In dating, I think of a nonstop stream of clever quips. In group situations I entertain and amaze with profound ideas and imagery.

But alcohol is dangerous, and because of these effects it has become rather addictive to me. What else can I do? Is there a safer drug that might work for someone in my condition?
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Postby Cooler » Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:36 am

citizen,

Please feel free to disagree, but I think alcohol is putting you in touch with your own emotions. That is quite a heavy thing to deal with, but it could be a good thing. If you can feel it with alcohol, maybe you could learn to feel it straight?

I'm only saying this because I've been there.

Alex.
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Postby citizen » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:06 am

What do you mean? When normally I deal with people, I am usually analyzing my surroundings and not paying attention to or reacting quickly to every social cue. The result is less than stellar ability to influence people with what I know.

Security is a higher order need, and I feel like people that have been conditioned as I have are much more capable people in general. I can rattle off responses that I have created in anticipation of things people say, but with alcohol my brain seems to work twice as fast all of the sudden and people seem awed by my ideas.

I think alcohol does not effect other people this way because they do not have as high intelligence and a large functional knowledge base like I do. I am not sure if it is the inhibition lowering effect of alcohol that is doing it, or something else, and what I might use to replace it.

Are you trying to say that if I focus on the desire to be that way I could do it without the influence of a drug? The thing that concerns me there is that security is a higher order need so, I am not sure I can really turn it off. I have been trying to do that for a long time, and the best I can really do is to come up with more persuasive arguments.
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Postby HigherThoughts » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:37 am

I would think that alcohol lowering your inhibitions is definitely a part of it. I think you are normally too focused on analyzing and are constantly over thinking things. Because of that, you are filtering yourself without you even realizing it, which is probably why you can't interact the way you would want to normally. Maybe you also have some underlying anxiety when talking to people and alcohol takes the edge off and helps you relax around people. When people are intoxicated, they generally are more prone to act on their impulses and do not filter themselves from doing things they normally wouldn't do or say.

Try to keep your brain from over thinking when interacting with people and don't focus on looking for social cues or such. Just enjoy the other person's company relax your mind. It won't be an easy task because you have developed this as a habit that becomes routine and automatic. With a lot of hard work and dedication, any habit can be changed.

It's okay to indulge in a few drinks in social gatherings, but just make sure you don't find yourself becoming dependent on it.
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Postby lancetrot » Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:28 am

Hi
I have lost many people I was close to because of alcohol habit which I care to admit. I would suggest you visit a therapist about this idea and about WHY you're so obsessed with it
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Postby paulo111 » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:06 am

citizen wrote:When I was a kid, I couldn't see things unless they were threatening enough. My parents were always fighting. As I got older, I studied people's behavior so much that I was more and more able to relax. My mind still focuses on random phrases that might be about me from people in my surroundings though, sometimes causing me to miss social cues. For the most part, people can't tell that I am much different than them and I don't have much trouble getting the reactions I want from people. I used to be really stoic but I have gotten in the habit of showing emotion when people expect me to (but not negative emotions - not because I am suppressing them but because I understand everything about the situation and nothing is surprising)

I am a computational theorist (type of mathematician) and I understand a lot of high level reasoning that can be applied to many different disciplines. Thus I really have a lot of interesting things to say on a lot of different subjects. I also have spent a lot of time debating with others, and know how to word things to be persuasive.

I always felt with the knowledge level that I have, I should be a much better conversationalist especially in groups. One on one I am pretty good, but I miss social cues all the time especially when it comes to dating. It's like even though I understand so much I am still stuck observing every detail of my surroundings just to get that last .00001 percent of understanding.

Well enter alcohol and all the suddenly become a cult leader or something. I never miss any social cue, and the wide bank of persuasive techniques is put to full use. In dating, I think of a nonstop stream of clever quips. In group situations I entertain and amaze with profound ideas and imagery.

But alcohol is dangerous, and because of these effects it has become rather addictive to me. What else can I do? Is there a safer drug that might work for someone in my condition?


Alcohol can boost dopamine, which is a confidence neurotransmitter.
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