I'm 18, and I recently moved across the States for a job and I live far away from all my family. I love my job, I love where I live, etc. I miss home, but not to the point where I am stressing over it, or constantly thinking about it. I love where I live, and I feel like I have a great life. So I don't think this is the cause of any of my panic attacks.
It all started when I was living back home about a year and a half ago. I didnt eat a big breakfast one day before going to work, and felt a little light headed at my job. So I started imagining how embarrassing it would be if I was to faint in public, around people other than my family or friends. I had a few episodes over the next month, but then they stopped once I moved. I never actually fainted from any of these episodes.
Everything was going good up until about 6 months ago. Something brought on these memories again, and I started having panic attacks everytime I would go out in public. I would avoid waiting in lines, due to the fact that I thought I was going to pass out. So I would avoid stores. My biggest fear from these attacks would be that I would pass out.
I mustered up the courage to fight these attacks, because my life was going really well, and I didnt want these stupid problems to hold me back in life, just because I was "afraid". I would wait in lines, but be constantly thinking about having one. I would start getting anxious as I would wait for my turn. My turn would come, and as soon as I swiped my card, the feeling would completely go away. I would walk out of the store so proud, because I was one step closer to fighting these attacks.
Every-time when I think these things were over, it would happen again, and I would get so nervous I would leave the store. It sucks so bad I hear all these stories about peope struggling for years, and I dont want to share those stories. I dont want that person to be, I dont want it to control my life.
I was doing really good the last two weeks. I fought every panic attack, and I was really starting to believe that I had killed this problem. Well, today I went to the store. I was way in the back looking for something. Everytime I go in a store, I constantly think about having these attacks, I look for an exit just incase I have to escape. I was walking around the store looking for this product, and then all of a sudden, I started to feel dizzy and it wasnt going away. I knew I had to leave, so I walked as fast as I could to the door. My face started going numb, I was shaking, I thought I was going to pass out. I got to my car, still feeling like I was going to pass out, and opened the door as fast as I could. Then an immediate sense of relief. Then I feel like once again I let this thing conquer me, and I'm back to where I started.
It worse now than it has every been before. I'm to young to be living my life in fear. Not to mention, the only way I can see my family is by a 6 hour plane ride. So I get super nervous flying too, cause I know I cant escape.
My question to you, is the feeling of feeling like I'm going to pass out, all in in my head? Or can I really pass out from a panic attack? I've never passed out from one before, but thats because I always feel like I "got out just in time". Please, please help