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Psychology forum home -> Self Esteem & Confidence -> How can I fix myself.....??? This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

How can I fix myself.....???


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Author Thread
Psyc
New Member


Joined: 04 Nov 2011
Posts: 8

Post Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:31 pm

How can I fix myself.....???    Reply with quote  

Hey guys, I need some help in boosting my self esteem and confidence.
I have been watching myself 3 month from now to see what are my problem exactly to post them here and hope any of you can help.

1. I am shy.
2. I don't go out a lot.
3. I don't talk to girls a lot.
4. I am afraid of talking to girls because I always think that I will be rejected.
5. I am afraid to do a lot of things because I think that other will make fun o me no matte if I think those things are true or false.
6. I am not a guy who is afraid to go out and meet new people but the problem is I don't know how to do it.



Thanks in advance guys.
  
littlell
Junior Member


Joined: 31 Jan 2011
Posts: 55

Post Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:44 pm

   Reply with quote  

Everything you've said sounds like it would be helped by this system:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Instant-Confidence-Book-Paul-McKenna/dp/0593055357/

Good luck!
Psyc
New Member


Joined: 04 Nov 2011
Posts: 8

Post Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:55 pm

   Reply with quote  

Bro if that is your book and you are trying to sell it for me plz don't wast my time. I have wasted a lot of time on a lot of books and nothing worke and the funny thing that I did exactly what they told me to do.
If you aren't the seller have you tried it ?
andyphil
New Member


Joined: 21 Mar 2012
Posts: 4

Post Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:31 am

Re: How can I fix myself.....???    Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by Psyc
Hey guys, I need some help in boosting my self esteem and confidence.
I have been watching myself 3 month from now to see what are my problem exactly to post them here and hope any of you can help.

1. I am shy.
2. I don't go out a lot.
3. I don't talk to girls a lot.
4. I am afraid of talking to girls because I always think that I will be rejected.
5. I am afraid to do a lot of things because I think that other will make fun o me no matte if I think those things are true or false.
6. I am not a guy who is afraid to go out and meet new people but the problem is I don't know how to do it.



Thanks in advance guys.


Hello Dear,

thank you for sharing your troubles here.
Inspite of that, I'm happy to know that your troubles are curable and not as deep to those other postings here.

I would suggest you initially cooperate on things you like to do and make sure you are with some of your friends that you know will not judge you. Having more experience will help you settle yourself towards insecurity. Probably your experiences are less and you can increase that by putting a lot effort on getting involved.
bert_ernie
Preferred Member


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 620

Post Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:02 pm

   Reply with quote  

hi psyc.

i'm basically in the same position as you. and feel a little like a fraud for giving you advice since despite the progress i have made i've really still quite far from fixing my own problems.

however here's really the most important thing i've learned. all of these problems are about fear. and i think you and i and most people like us are looking for ways to not face the fear. and really there is no secret back entrance.

you have to face the fear. the fear goes away by repeatedly entering the situations you're afraid of. the more you enter the situation the quicker it should go away. a gradual ramping up of the difficulty of the situation is the best way to go so you can get some successes to improve your self-esteem self-belief and confidence of success. also you should try not to think of failures as failure as such. think of it as feedback. when i'm first learning something new such as a game of some kind i'll often experiment with strategies and ideas which can sometimes lead me to fail epicly. BUT, because of this i'll learn something new which will lead me to a greater understanding of how the game works and all it's nuances whereas someone who just picks a strategy and sticks with it will have a more limited understanding. of course in real life you probably don't want to fail too epicly since there's consequences. but that line is probably further than you think.

also joining clubs/groups eg sporting clubs can be a good way to gain access to more new people.
littlell
Junior Member


Joined: 31 Jan 2011
Posts: 55

Post Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:28 pm

   Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by Psyc
Bro if that is your book and you are trying to sell it for me plz don't wast my time. I have wasted a lot of time on a lot of books and nothing worke and the funny thing that I did exactly what they told me to do.
If you aren't the seller have you tried it ?


No, it's not my book, although I wouldn't mind the fame and success of its author. I'm not the seller and I've tried it. It worked for me so I thought you might like it.
amaro
Junior Member


Joined: 14 Mar 2012
Posts: 59

Post Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:52 am

   Reply with quote  

i suggest you these two things for a start;

1. there can be our own motivations what create pressure; we want to be the best, we want to be the smartest, we want to be the richest,

you need to identify these negative motivations and create a different meaning to them like this example;

" there is nothing wrong if I am not a rich person but it would be great if I manage to become successful "

so this motivation keeps you fight about becoming better but also proud of who you are

2. create a plan that you believe it works about your each target;

maybe you have the greatest plan but only because you don't believe it works; then it doesn't work

if you find the most stupid plan but you believe it works; then that will work
karaheissman
New Member


Joined: 08 Feb 2012
Posts: 16

Post Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:27 pm

   Reply with quote  

Building up your social skills takes work. The process isn't always a horrible grind by any means, but it can take longer than you'd like, and at times it can be discouraging and hard on your nerves. Some people who want relief from their social problems get sidetracked by looking for a non-existent magic pill that will let them improve painlessly and quickly. But nothing of this kind is out there. I know because I have gone through the same painstaking process. And the whole journey to being more socially confident has taught me a lot of things, and will share with you two of the most important lessons I have learned.

First, would be to take gradual steps. Do you know this joke: How do you eat an elephant? One piece at a time. Well, this concept applies extremely well for becoming more outgoing and sociable. And second, would be to keep exposing yourself to social situations that make your nervous, this will make you gradually build up a tolerance for them. So basically, what I would suggest is that you go out of your comfort zone and do the things that you donít usually do.
Psyc
New Member


Joined: 04 Nov 2011
Posts: 8

Post Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:06 am

   Reply with quote  

littlell thanks for sharing it man, I will try it.
All others thank you for you replies I have learned many things from your posts and I will start doing all of your tips to see.

bert_ernie I know a guy always say ask someone have been throw the thing your want and Don't ask a doctor and you have proved that he was right.
Everything you said is right, I have fear.
I will try to face it and see what will happen.
  

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