I have been with my husband for 6 years, married for less than 1. two months into our marriage he moved to China for 6 months for a job he didn't have to take but wanted to, ignoring my repeated requests that he stay with me.
when he left i was forced to change my life, and i did. i really enjoy my life that i know have, outside of my husband. but, it raised a lot of issues to the surface. my husband has a history of taking me for granted. he has never been good with money, he's never been able to be an equal partner because of it, and he does not meet me on the same level, educationally speaking.
then i met "Kyle." he's like my husband, except he has all of the traits i just listed above. our friendship grew very fast, and i slept with him. naturally i feel horrible about this, and i don't need anyone telling me how horrible i should feel, because i already do. regardless, Kyle is in love with me, and i feel like i am falling in love with him.
my husband is now back and he knows two things: 1) he knows that Kyle is in love with me. 2) he knows that I am falling in love with Kyle. i have not revealed more than that, and i know what that makes me look like: a coward and a liar.
Kyle and i called it off, but the feelings are still there. my heart aches for him. i'm trying to work things out with my husband, but i don't feel like i'm in love with him anymore and i can't be because i'm in love with Kyle.
I feel like i'm staying with my husband for the wrong reasons. when i think about leaving him, and when i have though about it in the past, it's always come down to guilt...he doesn't have a lot of money, he can't afford to live on his own, where would he go? how can i leave him?
i want to leave him and move on while there is still a chance to save our friendship.
please help me...i feel like i want to die...like i would prefer to just kill myself because of what i have done.