Angry at boyfriend

Does your anger need some management? Helpful discussions to get you back in control.

Postby negra » Sat Jul 02, 2005 10:04 am

My boyfriend went to his brother's prom with a (guy) friend. My brother in law didn't even go. My boyfriend has been bothering me with this prom for about a year now and I have always told him that I did not want him to go. He told me himself in many ocassions that he was not going to go. He even said that if he couldn't get me a ticket to go he would not go either. I saw him two days before the prom and he has said he was not going to go. But he did! I am still very angry at him, it has been over a month. I do not know what to do. Am I overreacting? How do I get over my anger? When ever we talk about it we get into a huge argument. He says he is not sorry because he always wanted to go, and that he deserved to have some fun time, he works about 10 hours a day. I just can't get over it. Please help.
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Postby dasher » Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:16 pm

I can understand why your upset! Not only did he lie to you but he never had any intention of staying home. So you feel betrayed because all this time he was telling what you wanted to hear.

Can I just say... that he has no respect for you at all. He didn't respect your feelings about the situation and he didn't think you deserved the truth!

Dump him! He's not marriage material! You don't want to live your life with someone you can't trust. Believe me on this one!
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Postby confusedboutme » Sat Aug 06, 2005 1:26 pm

why didnt you want him to go in the first place?did you not trust him?
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Postby satanstoystore » Sat Aug 20, 2005 3:38 am

Has he done something that would make you suspect that he shouldn't be left alone at a dance?

or,

what's the reason why you don't want him to go do something he's really wanted to do for the last 360 odd days?
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Postby what to do? » Mon Sep 12, 2005 8:00 pm

Get over it!!! he's done nothing wrong. He went out and had fun, you didn't want to go so he went without you. You're probably angry because your efforts to stop him having fun were unsuccessful. I think good for him and you should get over it and go out with your boyfriend in future and have fun.
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Postby Vchan » Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:52 am

Why didn't you want to go in the first place?

So he's your boyfriend - but that doesn't mean you have to be attached at the hip 24/7. He wanted to go, you shouldn't have stopped him, and you shouldn't have got mad at him. Let him do what he wants. it sounds like you wanted to stop him having fun so you decided not to go and thought that he should stay home and be miserable too.

That's selfish. NEVER stop anyone from having fun. Let them do things without you. Or make an effort to try to have fun with them, even if you're at something you really don't want to go to... you never know, you might end up enjoying yourself.

Yes you are overreacting. Why make such a fuss, it's been and gone. he had fun, you opted not to. He's happy, you're not. Leave it at that.

And whoever said 'dump him'... uh... never heard of talking things over? If you're willing to dump somoene over something like that then I don't hold out much hope for you... sorry...
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Postby negra » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:01 pm

I did want to go with him that's why I was mad. I let him do whatever he wants most of the time. The problem was that lately he had not been giving me any time. He goes uout every night w the excuse that he works very hard an earns time to have fun. But when I want to do something with him he come up with many excuses including that he's tired and stuff. But it doesn't matter because we broke up our 3 year relationship 3 weeks ago.. thanx a lot to those who posted.
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Postby crazypete » Thu Oct 06, 2005 5:05 am

well the most important thing i think you can do is tell him exactly how you feel...honestly too. if he truly cares about you he will be DYING for this information, if he truly cares he will immediately want to make improvements...if he doesn't care that much about you, he probably wont care what you think..

see?
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Postby joshs girl » Thu Dec 01, 2005 5:07 pm

i dont blame you one bit i would have been furious towards him its not the fact you dont trust him its the fact that he lied to you. thats so true!!!! :wink:
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Postby bitterwon » Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:02 pm

Sometime's people lie to avoid a serious argument.My wife will do that and has at least twice but you have to get over it.Don't ask me how I still have a hard time with it myself.It's not very good advice but, it's the best I have.I hope it help's.
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Postby Rainbowstormclouds » Sat Jul 03, 2010 10:10 pm

I can understand, I bet too, there are other underlining issues that made you quick to anger on something like this. I have something kinda along these lines, and I too feel like Im crazy for being angry, because on the surface it seems so petty, but the reality is its just plain wrong and you have a reason to be pissed. My BF is a complete hermit and gamer and sits on his games about 8 hrs a day 7 days a week and plays little to no attention at all to me, we barley talk, I have to hunt him down for a kiss goodnight, and he is totally antisocial and forbids me to have friends exspecially guy ones. so 8 years of this, we come to present date. He has been planning this video game tornament with his brother and his brothers friend an to watch the fights after, so we agreed that the guys can have the house and Ill take me and our child out for a while. (this was like a big thing to him bc he never does anything) sooo that morning comes (today) and I find out his brothers girlfriend will be coming over to play too. (keep in mind my bf expected me not to be around,so I found this a little unfair)so then I walk out into the living room and theres another unknown female sitting on my couch, no hello no introduction just a glare at me.. and so now Im pissed because wtf is this chick doing here and why is he suddenly hanging out with all these ppl knowing I would be gone, and then one of the guys says "lets invite allan and his girlfriend over too) and I think to myself (wtf why cant i stay if all these gfs are allowed)...so I leave with my kid as promised after making it know to my bf that Im more than pissed....and I come home to find out, instead of them going to the wing place or staying here to watch the fights, they are going to that guys house whom has that chick with him ect, and watching it there till 1am. Im pissed bc I cant have anyone over not even family, I cant have a guy even near me, like if it were my brothers friend or something, and also Im never included in anything...and rah its just a huge conterdiction and BS and Im just so F'in mad that I blew up infront of my bf and his bro , like totally irrate, and sad thing is ppl hang out, couples hang out,and its perfectly normal,but my bf for 8 years told me otherwise and restricts me, then turns around and does the same "innocent" thing.........................please I need feed back

also Im sick of always being mad to look like a snot, bc he does things to make me mad, to where I blow up alot, infront of his brother, bc his brother always wants him to go hang out with him and his gf,and friends,and Im always left out, and i cant do anything but sit at home really because he says its different for me, ect. and i dont need friends. I wish his brother knew the underlining cause to why I blow up at things that normal ppl do and that is normally ok
Last edited by Rainbowstormclouds on Sat Jul 03, 2010 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rainbowstormclouds » Sat Jul 03, 2010 10:13 pm

negra wrote:I did want to go with him that's why I was mad. I let him do whatever he wants most of the time. The problem was that lately he had not been giving me any time. He goes uout every night w the excuse that he works very hard an earns time to have fun. But when I want to do something with him he come up with many excuses including that he's tired and stuff. But it doesn't matter because we broke up our 3 year relationship 3 weeks ago.. thanx a lot to those who posted.




probably happier now, eh?
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