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Why am I so scared of everything?


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Author Thread
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:55 pm

Why am I so scared of everything?    Reply with quote  

What a day! I hardly got any sleep, i feel ill now, i spilled sugar all over the kichen worktop because i cant stop shaking, i almost fell down the stairs at my friends house, and ive been getting strange feelings in my arms all afternoon. Im scared to go to work tomorrow incase I mess it up. I miss my ex so badly right now, even more than I miss my parents. I feel like I have no hope and no where to go. I need to start thinking positively, but i cant keep it up. Everytime i tell myself im a good person who deserves a nice girlfriend, a voice in my head goes'yeah right, like enyone wants a prick like you'. And i believe it. I need a sleeping pill tonight, i thought about taking 2 but i think i better not, i dont want to be drugged up and crash on the way to work in the morning.
And now i just dropped dogfood all over the kitchen
im crying and shaking again now. i cant get anything right, i cant even think of anything good to say in the games any more, everything i put is stupid.
  
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Sun Jul 17, 2005 9:01 pm

   Reply with quote  

Im sorry i dont know what to put on here, i suppose it is a continuation of my thread in the relationships section callesd love AAAARRRGH!
Basically my girlfriend left me 10 weeks ago and i cant cope, i ended up on sleeping pills and prozac and i dont know what to do anymore.
Hannahlou84
Guest




Post Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:04 am

   Reply with quote  

Aww, Rick, I am sorry you are having a bad time of it still.

It will get easier, I promise, it does.

Would it be possible for you to take some more time off work? Or do you think it will be best for you to go back now long term? I am sorry you feel so panicky about going back, wondering what people are thinking about you, etc. I know where you are coming from, I hated it going into work after I started crying one time-- pathetic I know, but I do understand. And also the fear, the panic, as I am going for an interview thingy tomorrow, and I don't really want to, am not ready. I am not really sure what to advise on being ready etc etc... but you can try it. Perhaps being busy will enable to take your mind off your ex somewhat? Less time for ruminating, maybe?

Sure your bed will still be empty at night, for now, and you will be coming home to be on your own, but this isn't so bad. Take this as an opportunity to look at what you want, other than a girlfriend? What do you want from life, Rick? What are your hopes and dreams? have they changed? Can you remember them? Are you even happy in your job? Is this another issue?

Take care,
briary
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 07 Jul 2004
Posts: 9280
Location: East Sussex

Post Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:57 am

   Reply with quote  

Hi Rick

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time at present. The break up of a relationship can be very difficult to cope with and you need to allow yourself time and space in which to adjust to this. It is not unlike a bereavement and there is a natural period of grief to get through.

Have you considered having some counselling to help you deal with this break up?

Karen
supersezza
Senior Member


Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 3789
Location: in my head

Post Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:20 pm

   Reply with quote  

Hi rick,

how was the day at work?
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Mon Jul 18, 2005 10:43 pm

   Reply with quote  

Hi, work was pants. I made several mistakes, not big ones but im scared of doing anything serious.
I thought about getting help, but i dont know how and i have real difficulty talking obout these things.
My bed is empty, the house is empty and im scared of everything.
I fancy the barmaid at the local but im scared to say anything to her, and i feel guilty for liking her, and imsure she thinks im a freak for keep going in. Just been there tonight but i cant drink much because i have to drive to work in the morning and these pills make me drunk quicker. Only had 3 pints and i feel drunk.
Thanks for reading, i appreciate it. its nice to kno im not totally alone.
Greensleeves
Full Member


Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 157
Location: Perth, West Aust

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:17 am

   Reply with quote  

Smile Hi A-B,

Sorry to hear you are so scared of eveything. Are there things that make you feel peaceful and good?

I listen to the 'Stop Negative Thinking download from time to time from the Uncommon Knowledge hypnosis downloads ... and the anxiety one. My son listened to it the other night when he was having an asthma attack and wasn't sure if his inhaler was working or not. He liked it ...

You know, I sometimes think it is hard to let go of the anguish and anxiety etc because there may be nothing to fill your life up with when it is gone ... but, of course, there is ... But it requires work and patience ... and sometimes having to start all over again.

Are you getting to have any fun at anything where you are free to make mistakes and it just doesn't matter a dam ... because the object is to have fun and be yourself ... and the people you are with aren't point scoring but just into letting things be and unfold ... so that you get that centred confident feeling ... which we all love!

You might also like to look at any of Jurian Plesman's responses on the threads (i.e. Jurplesman is his sign in name) who looks at the clinical nutrition aspects of depression, anxiety etc. You can really find yourself nutrtionally depleted in a number of areas when you are in any kind of mental distress. I was burning up Vit B hugely ... which is much more under control now. But that can cause a vicious cycle with anxiety and fear ... you may like to see a Dr who specialises in nutritional medicine. I think it is a great way to go, including any other support you may feel you need.

On the subject of love, the recent research I've looked out is that it produces a powerful chemical reaction in the brain, which is like a drug addiction ... so relationship breakups can be a tough one to handle anyway ...

I hope you have some good music to listen to ... I've been listening to a bit of jazz lately ... Dianne Krall ...

Hope to hear how you are going soon.

Luv

F


[/i]
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:29 am

   Reply with quote  

Thanks for all your responses.
I really appreciate all the help and support im getting on here, from everybody. I didnt make it to work, because i didnt get any sleep at all last night. I was just tossing and turning all night, been crying and shaking a lot.
My back is really sore, so are the rest of my joints and muscles, im just so tense all the time. im in a constant state of panic i think. I booked the day off but i will have to go in on nights tomorrow i think.
I dont really like the job all that much, it gets boring and i dont like the long shifts, but im scared of being alone, and i dont want to move jobs because i dont think ill be able to learn anything new when i feel like this, i cant even do my own job properly.
I have tried some hypnosis downloads, and the self confidence course but am really struggling because i cant concentrate. I still love her so much and it hurts so badly that she can just move on so easily, did i really mean so little to her. i dont get it, we were planning starting a family and buying a house, i was looking for a ring when she left me. Now i feel empty, like there is nothing left for me.
I do have some good music to listen to, i like Erin Mckeown at the moment, but find it annoying sometimes, im just so frustrated. All i ever wanted was love. I want to move on but i love her so much, i just cant let go.
Im scared.
I have been taking multi vitamins, but im not sure if they are doing anything.
I think i do need some help, but i dont know what for, im just totally screwed up and dont understand anything at the moment.
I dont know what to do.
supersezza
Senior Member


Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 3789
Location: in my head

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:40 am

   Reply with quote  

Hi Rick,

I think you really need to consider talking to a professional about this, you are lucky enough to have caught your depression early and so you really are in the best position to beat it, but it really sounds to me like you are becoming depressed and fast, sorry if this all sounds harsh but I wish someone had been this harsh with me at the beginning of my downwards spiral.

Try and stick with your job for the time being, depression breeds inactivity and you need to keep doing things.

Try to just do a bit a day, don't swamp yourself with all these self-help things.

That Slung Lo songs always helps me even if I feel like pants, it's an improvement on Radiohead anyway!

Multivitamens will be helping it takes a while for the benefits to be seen though, how long have you been on the ADs now?
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:50 am

   Reply with quote  

I dont know who to turn to or what to say, and i m not sure if ill be able to talk to them if i do.
I do like that song, but im finding all music irritating at the moment.
Ive been on them almost 3 weeks, and i got about 10 or so left.
Im thinking of making an appointment to see the dac next monday, if i can get one, but im not sure what to do, or even what to ask for.
Im going to get dressed and walk to the chippy. I need to eat, and ive just been staring blankly at the kitchen cupboards, cant think of anything.
Im so sore and shaking again, i feel like i want to cry but i cant.
I need to ring the garage to find out about my car, i still havent got it back after the crash yet. But i cant bring myself to, they have had it a month or so now, it must be a mess.
Did you manage to listen to the rest of the album?
supersezza
Senior Member


Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 3789
Location: in my head

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:56 am

   Reply with quote  

I found a better wife and cosmpolitan tracks online, thought they were good!

It may take 6 weeks before u get the full effect of them and then you can see if they are helping or not, don't forget you are adjusting your brains chemistry so may take some time to settle down on them.

I quite fancy some chips too!
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:25 pm

   Reply with quote  

I messed up again, the chippy was shut.
I found a tin of soup so im eating that.
I dont have enough to last 6 weeks, im over halfway through them already.
My mum bought me some kalms, im not sur if i should take them at the same time as the ad's or not.
I just cant cope.
supersezza
Senior Member


Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 3789
Location: in my head

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:32 pm

   Reply with quote  

I don't think you should Rick, Kalms will be a lot different to ADs, really give it a few more weeks hopefully they will chill u out a bit more.

Pity about the chippy....chin up though, worse things happen!
A_B
Senior Member


Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 1781
Location: Lancashire

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:38 pm

   Reply with quote  

I know, usually to me.
I feel like everything is against me, i know its not and im paranoid but still feel that way.
I just cant accept that shes gone sometimes.
Its like i meant nothing to her, i cant believe it, she was everything to me.
supersezza
Senior Member


Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 3789
Location: in my head

Post Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:21 pm

   Reply with quote  

But you need to focus all that energy forward now Rick, not back.
  

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