Heroin - the aftermath?

Smoking, drinking, drugs. Whatever the object of addiction, it can ruin your life - get help here.

Postby Linz » Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:00 pm

Has anyone kicked a heroin habit? If so, what do you suggest for staying away, in particular, the first few weks/months. Would really appreciate some advice.
Thanks :cry:
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Postby Improvements » Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:15 pm

Im not a user but I know some intravenous users and their struggles so RESPECT to you for writing this post.
I've noticed its the bravest heroin users who decide they want to come off it.
One ex-user said the first thing is that you have to do it for YOU. Also, to keep away from any heroin user friends as the temptation to use again is BIG
Online and offline I have also been told of heroins psychological addictive properties as well as its physical ones, its the feeling thats addictive too. Its gonna be like going through a grieving process, but from my experience of those who have started recovery is that they are stronger for it at the end.
From my own experience of addictions, although different to heroin, I just remind myself of the bad consequences when I reach for that extra can of beer or that extra spliff.
Have you sought professional help or drugs counselling as they will be in a much better position and know much more than someone like me who has never tried heroin, but knows the pulling power of any addiction and its associated feelings.
Although heroin is a hard drug and i've no personal experience, I know the habit can be kicked as I have seen others come off it.
Best of luck to you and may you find support online and off.
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Postby Linz » Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:52 pm

Thanks for this. I've responded to you post in "adictive personalities" so won't go on too much here. I only smoke heroin thankfully so think it's a lot easier than withdrawing from the pin. I've stopped twice in the last two months but only managed 6 days each time. I know I'm going to do this, Just need a bit of support along the way and don't have anyone I can talk to as no-one knows. Been hiding it from all my friends, family and colleauges for two years. I hate living a double life. I did ask my doctor for help but she was useless. I can't afford to take time out from work to go to rehab, I don't want them to know either. My doctor wanted me to go onto a Methadone program but I had to wait 3 month's just to be assesed. I found a clinic in England who do a 5 day rapid detox and I have private health insurance to cover the costs but my doctor would not refer me. Goodness knows why not. I could understand it if I were a lost cause but I go out to work every day to pay for my own habit. I have never robbed anyone or stolen anything from people's houses, shops or anything like that. I want to get clean, I was such a fool to try it in the first place but I can't turn back the clock now. I know a lot of people who are on Methadone and haven't met anyone yet who has come off it. I think they give you a script then forget all about you. They are just happy you're not robbing anyone to buy smack! In the end, you just end up being addicted to Methadone and from what I've heard, Methadone is very difficult to withdraw from too. Some people say ut's worse than heroin because it gets right into your bones so takes a long time to come off it. I will do this and very soon. Watch this space! Any advice, info anyone can give me would be very much appreciated. Anyone who'd just like to chat, feel free. Please let me know about you, enough about me already!!! Take care, Linz x
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Postby Improvements » Thu Jul 21, 2005 11:22 am

Linz wrote:Thanks for this. I've responded to you post in "adictive personalities" so won't go on too much here. I only smoke heroin thankfully so think it's a lot easier than withdrawing from the pin. I've stopped twice in the last two months but only managed 6 days each time.

I can see that you genuinely want to come off it and the fact that you have had a couple of goes in getting off it means you know the situation with regards to being tempted to use again. Glad you're not pinning it,
I know I'm going to do this, Just need a bit of support along the way and don't have anyone I can talk to as no-one knows. Been hiding it from all my friends, family and colleauges for two years. I hate living a double life. I did ask my doctor for help but she was useless. I can't afford to take time out from work to go to rehab, I don't want them to know either.

I'm so sorry that offline support feels scant to you now. There is loads of online support, look for a chat-room you can go in for online suport if you feel like using, they will give you encouragement as there will be others who want to quit too.
Where do you get your supply from, can you cut yourself off from him/her and find something else to do when you fancy a toot.
I can see the stress it is giving you in hiding it from everyone you know, is there no-one at all you can turn to. Can you somehow get over the "obstacles" like work to give yourself opportunity and time to get the support you need.
If you do confide in someone, wont they respect you for approaching them with "I am coming off heroin and need support", better than "I use heroin", the fact that you want to come off will go a long way.
Can you see another doctor and explain in full your predicament. Write it all down on a piece of paper, then give it to the doctor, any good doctor will undertand if you are too anxious to talk, they will read it.
Anyone who wants to quit a destructive habit will find help, you may not know where from, but if you are serious about this you will do it.
My doctor wanted me to go onto a Methadone program but I had to wait 3 month's just to be assesed. I found a clinic in England who do a 5 day rapid detox and I have private health insurance to cover the costs but my doctor would not refer me. Goodness knows why not. I could understand it if I were a lost cause but I go out to work every day to pay for my own habit. I have never robbed anyone or stolen anything from people's houses, shops or anything like that.

This is why, getting help from a decent doctor is important.
I want to get clean, I was such a fool to try it in the first place but I can't turn back the clock now.

Everyone has their reasons for trying H, I'm not gonna judge you. I respect that you want to come off and hope you find the way through, over or round the hurdles.
I know a lot of people who are on Methadone and haven't met anyone yet who has come off it. I think they give you a script then forget all about you. They are just happy you're not robbing anyone to buy smack! In the end, you just end up being addicted to Methadone and from what I've heard, Methadone is very difficult to withdraw from too. Some people say ut's worse than heroin because it gets right into your bones so takes a long time to come off it. I will do this and very soon. Watch this space! Any advice, info anyone can give me would be very much appreciated. Anyone who'd just like to chat, feel free. Please let me know about you, enough about me already!!! Take care, Linz x

I've heard methadone is bad too and it can feel like society is cold and hard in bunging people on harder drugs to get off smack. There is a drug called Ibogaine which is well known to help addictions, Google "Ibogaine" and "heroin addiction" together, and see what you come up with. Maybe book a long time off work to sort yourself out and good luck.
Myself, I suffer from anxiety and agrophobia and have done all my life. I worked for years but had loads of sick time and eventually it all caught up with me. I have had battles with alcohol and cannabis but much more so when I was working. I have profound interpersonal problems, of which I am yet to get to the bottom of. In my town I know of young heroin users who worry me as I can see them getting into allsorts of bad situations. I do some voluntary work from time to time for a cat rescue charity. I like getting out and hearing music in the open air but as I am agrophobic, sometimes this is difficult. As I fall victim to alcohol easy (it was rife in my workplaces) I try to keep company with other drinkers to an absolute minimum.

Drunk - p.s. best of luck and may you get all the support you need
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Postby littlenonni » Sat Jul 23, 2005 12:33 pm

hi linz,
first of all id like to say good on you for actually coming clean about it.
this is going to sound a stupid question..but why do you want to come off it?im asking for a good reason:)
im so glad that your not pinning it and that your nipping this in the bud,but if i were you,from experience,not to go on methadone.
my wee opinion is to do rapid detox...obviously your will power and determination will be seriously challenged when the intense withdrawels come in.discapline is what youd need around you too but you could do it.
the doc wont help you,probably because he sees potential in you and he knows that that path of methadone aint a great one.
i almost never woke up cos of methadone,but that didnt stop me taking it again,withdrawels on green is less intesnse but much much slower and uncomfortable than a quick intense pain on withdrawels of herion.i wish you so much good luck and my thoughts are with you!!
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Postby changing » Sat Jul 23, 2005 1:38 pm

hey linz,

just wanted to wish you all the best with everything, i can see you're very determined so i'm sure you'll beat your addiction. i've just given up skunk after 9 yrs, i think the best bit of advice i could give you is to steer clear from the circle of friends who you would do your h with, if you can get out of the environment it helps. i know people who smoked h for years & did come through it all they did however do a long detox, i think the quick detox sounds like a good idea as you sound strong enough to be able to cope with it, thinking of you.

best wishes xxx
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Postby allyKAT » Tue Aug 02, 2005 11:05 am

Well I am not addicted to H but my boyfriend is, and so I do understand what its all about.

You must be focussed. It is not easy to quit the detox is just the first stage. You sound like you really want to stop and that is good. I know lots of people who have and are leading totally normal lifes again.

I think becoming addicted to any drug, but especially H is a terribly disenpowering thing. You loose confidence and faith in yourself and secretly view yourself as a junkie or you feel others do. That feeling and damage in your self confidence is usually what stops people from recovering.

You can do it. Ultimately it is just a drug. Your mind hold the power and will feel the temptation and that is where the battle is happening. Your success depends on how much you really really want to be drug free.

Do you work? Enjoying your job having a different lifestyle/ freinds etc are all key. When you stop what are you going to do instead? How will you relax? Who will you spend your time with? ALthough its up to you to do it, in the first couple of months you will be fragile and don't need to be around temptation. Do you have someone to support you, or who at least knows about what you are trying to do?

Most addicts who want to be drug free make it in the end, some people relaps a few times.. its all about preparation and determination and support.

Good luck.
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Postby littlenonni » Sat Aug 13, 2005 11:15 am

hey linz,
just curious as to how you are? :?:
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Postby precus » Tue Aug 23, 2005 3:16 pm

Long time pin user , rehabs, st. hosp. done it all even methadone. now have 2 wks off dope but messed up last wkend and went to NY I just need some one to talk to very secluded and family cant relate even though there are realy trying. please help.
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Postby earthmother » Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:43 pm

Have 2 dear friends who were doing H (needles). The way they finally overcame, was they finally grew to totally HATE the drug. Not just an overpowering helpless sort of hate, but a relentless "aint no more room in my life for this crap" sort of hate. It worked. One has been off for 20+ years and one has been off for 5. good luck.
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Postby Linz » Thu Sep 08, 2005 11:10 pm

Only just realised people have replied to my post. Thank you all so much. :D I'll try to answer all the questions in one post. Well still smoking it but have now got a drug counsellor who I'm hoping will help me. I've been given a diary to write down everything I'm taking, how it makes me feel etc. and I'm hoping to start on a detox within two weeks then hopefully go onto Subutex for a while. I want to get right of smack and not end up substituting it with something else so really only want to take Methadone for a coulple of weeks for a rapid detox. I so want to do this but find it hard as my parner is in the same situation with me and we both want to stop but never feel strong at the same time. He has a councellor too and that's something I never thought he'd do so I'm positive he also really wants this for the first time.
I do work full time, we both do. It's sodifficult trying to hold down a job but i've hidden it pretty well for two years or at least I think I have. I have to think about the next day when I score on top of getting myself sorted for today as I need a toot befor work, at lunchtime and again when I finish work. It's just always there and my life revolves around it. I can't go out with my friends anymore as I know I have about 6 hours before I start to feel rattly. I can't sneak off and do it, I could never even think about getting caught! I hate everything about it now. It's a filthy, horrible existence, not a life. I do still look after my appearance and have been told by many people when they've seen me with a tooter in my mouth that they'd never have thought I took kit. I take that as a compliament in a way. To be honest though, they're right. I'm not the type at all, I've just been so foolish and I'm paying a very high price for it now. I've also changed my GP as I've moved to a new area (unfortunately my dealer is 2 minutes away whereas he was 30 mins drive away before). I have another appointment with my GP on Wednesday next week to see if this one will be more supportive. It feels as though they'd rather keep me waiting till it's too late and I've lost everything than help now whilst I still have a life and can hang on to it.I never want my friends or family to find out about this, it would devastate them. But you can only hide this for so long. I tried to do cold turkey last wekend and only managed todo about 18 hours. Not using it as an excuse but my fiance relented and that was the end of that. I'm still determined and I will dothis. I want my life as it was. I want to go out with my friends, buy new clothes etc. Even the simple things in my life like buying a glossy magazine, going for a sunbed, meeting my friends for lunch. I just don't have the money to do them anymore. I need all the money I can get to keep myself from rattling. Especially at work. I have lost my bubbly personality and have lost my sex drive. I am withdrawn from friends etc. as I'm hiding this awful secret. I don't laugh anymore and fight with my fiance constantly. We never argued once in the first year we went out and only started to really fall out when we got hooked on smack. He's like Jeckyl & Hide with heroin. One minute he's ok, the next he' a monster. I can't believe it can make a prson change so much.
I'm also starting to think about starting a family hopefully in the not too distant future and wouldn't even contenplate it while I'm still using. I have so much to gain from stopping, I just want a life again. I'm 31 for the person who asked me that. Have had 29 years smack free, only the last two years have been taken from me and I want them back. I'll keep you all posted now I know people have taken the time to reply to me. Thanks all of you so very much. It's nice to hear supportive words both from users and non users. It makes me feel less of a lowlife knowing people understand. :cry:
Wishing you all the happiness in the world, keep posting and take care of yourselves. 8) Linz xx
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Postby allyKAT » Mon Sep 12, 2005 2:54 pm

Hey Linz


Thank you so much for your messgae, Things are alot better for me today.

It means alot from you as I know this subject is your personal battle at the moment too. You talk about your previous opinion of junkies...and now you are one. In my opinion you were Linz, and you still are Linz - no two junkies are the same. Some were nasty people before they got messed up on gear and are worse becasue of the addiction, some are like lost souls nice folk wishing they could change but lacking the strength or the lifestyle support reqiured to do it and because of that still untustworthy...and some have the strength buried deep down,are as charasmatic as they were, and you know one day when the tinme is right they will beat it and never look back. Addiction physical and mental is the problem - but what is stronger than your mind if you really wnat something - you will achieve it. You just have to keep saying no until your last toot gets longer and longer ago.

You have had a traumatic time since this started. Reaslising you were hooked and hating your self for it. Do not depair! The situation you have found yourself in - does not change who you are- it might feel like it has taken you over but it is just a drug that feels good (like many others) that causes a terrible addiction. Some people are ignorant to this. I have made myself understand. You are strong - I can sense that by your posts and motivated - that is the main thing.

Is your boyfriend as motivated as you? This is another major challenge for you. Both of you now have the same weakness and are going to sabbotage each others efforts. When you love someone you have to be on the same level. Either both of you are going to get clean, you will split or both of you will stay hooked. This what you have to realy think about. Same with me and my man, I allowed a certain time where he was using and I was not unil a planned date then he had to decide either he gets clean, or we spilt I cannot live the other way any more one person has to be strong and lead the other in a definate direction. If you are both willing to keep things the same nothing will ever change you have decide for you.

Choose life, choose self esteem, dream of having your confidence back and walking down the street knowing you feel and look great! Having your time and your money back! Imagaine you and your man off the Gear on holiday somewhere beautiful with the freedom to anything again and an amazing sex life back! The day to day scoring is basically handing your money over to a dealer to stop you getting sick - what a life! Oh, and if there is a drought and you can't score do you have to take the day off work -yeah? This is the way my man was Rattling and being strung out is always a few hours away -the problems Heroin washes away it creates behind your back - you know what I mean. You think your having a great time and then one day everything seems f***ed! Now it is the time for you to act - plan action...get a GP that is known to be good for prescribing to addicts, work hard with your drug worker all that talk does help and it takes it out of the pressurised bubble of just you and your boyf. This has been a massive help for me and my man. We both talked and talked and talked and i came out feleling tired and drained but like you tookm as a positive sig that my mna was willing to go to a counsellor. Tell the GP about the fact you work, and explain how motivated you are and how Meth is not what you want and why, subutex is supposed to begood but harder to get as it is expensive fo the docs to prescribe, if he won't give you that maybe try a DF rapid detox. Cold Turkeying it is too hard for many - get help - plan a date and start a rapid reduction plan. You will feel the pain but not as much as turkeing, DF's, Subutex maybe a few sleeping tablets at night for a short period of time and book time off work!!! Two weekis if possible.

I have never taken Gear - but lots of other drugs speed, E's, coke, vallies, cannibis, smoked crack once, so to an extent I undersatnd. All at parties and all occasional. I have never been addicted to anything bar maybe fags! Drugs are good but so what nothing beats a naturally happy day where life feels good and there is no come down, or stress. I enjoy being straight and would never want to be on something everyday. That way when you have a few drinks at the weekend, or go to a party once a month and have the occasional blow out you enjoy it more. Life does not revolve around drugs. Its about your dreams ambition family plans, above all human relationship and real love, and Gear damages them all. Its about good days and bad days. Gear levels it all out and makes every day the same - GROUNDHOG DAY!! It is a drug about your head your needs - a selfish druig your are in your world who can really get in? When you are off it everything will be heightened - the good feeling will be better, your love will be stronger you will more alive! Yes you will feeel pain and stress and problems but if you can get over this you can handle anything.

I have more respect for a TRULY ex addict, than someone who has never touched it - when you were clean you will know you have achieved something amazing. That will be the best free high you have evr experienced and some day soon this hell you are stuck in now will all be a distant memory.

My man stopped using on the 15th August we had all sorts of slip ups and lapses but he has kept going, and so have I -just! I have just had five really good days with him - no slip ups and reducing his Df's & vallies every day. Not a bad achievment for someone who has had a £40-60 habit and has been on and of the Gear for 7/8 years.

We went out for dinner and did other stuff and had loads of sex when we came home- which we didn't have for 3 months when he was habbited up.
The sex is such a lovely bonding experience that is so healing and something that you don't know how you coped without when you get it back. The trust is returning as during the day he has been going out swimming! Hanging out with non users and is showing real determination since I gave him the ultimatuim last week.

Doctor tonight keep your fingers crossed for us. Your help is appreciated.

Keep in touch Linz and let me know how it goes. concentrate on one day at a time and go for it...accept all help and and find out about acupuncture from your local Drugs Action Team - it will be free and helps with craving and rattling when your detox begins.


Love and Light to all who try

allyKat
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Postby allyKAT » Mon Sep 12, 2005 2:55 pm

Hey Linz


Thank you so much for your messgae, Things are alot better for me today.

It means alot from you as I know this subject is your personal battle at the moment too. You talk about your previous opinion of junkies...and now you are one. In my opinion you were Linz, and you still are Linz - no two junkies are the same. Some were nasty people before they got messed up on gear and are worse becasue of the addiction, some are like lost souls nice folk wishing they could change but lacking the strength or the lifestyle support reqiured to do it and because of that still untustworthy...and some have the strength buried deep down,are as charasmatic as they were, and you know one day when the tinme is right they will beat it and never look back. Addiction physical and mental is the problem - but what is stronger than your mind if you really wnat something - you will achieve it. You just have to keep saying no until your last toot gets longer and longer ago.

You have had a traumatic time since this started. Reaslising you were hooked and hating your self for it. Do not depair! The situation you have found yourself in - does not change who you are- it might feel like it has taken you over but it is just a drug that feels good (like many others) that causes a terrible addiction. Some people are ignorant to this. I have made myself understand. You are strong - I can sense that by your posts and motivated - that is the main thing.

Is your boyfriend as motivated as you? This is another major challenge for you. Both of you now have the same weakness and are going to sabbotage each others efforts. When you love someone you have to be on the same level. Either both of you are going to get clean, you will split or both of you will stay hooked. This what you have to realy think about. Same with me and my man, I allowed a certain time where he was using and I was not unil a planned date then he had to decide either he gets clean, or we spilt I cannot live the other way any more one person has to be strong and lead the other in a definate direction. If you are both willing to keep things the same nothing will ever change you have decide for you.

Choose life, choose self esteem, dream of having your confidence back and walking down the street knowing you feel and look great! Having your time and your money back! Imagaine you and your man off the Gear on holiday somewhere beautiful with the freedom to anything again and an amazing sex life back! The day to day scoring is basically handing your money over to a dealer to stop you getting sick - what a life! Oh, and if there is a drought and you can't score do you have to take the day off work -yeah? This is the way my man was Rattling and being strung out is always a few hours away -the problems Heroin washes away it creates behind your back - you know what I mean. You think your having a great time and then one day everything seems f***ed! Now it is the time for you to act - plan action...get a GP that is known to be good for prescribing to addicts, work hard with your drug worker all that talk does help and it takes it out of the pressurised bubble of just you and your boyf. This has been a massive help for me and my man. We both talked and talked and talked and i came out feleling tired and drained but like you tookm as a positive sig that my mna was willing to go to a counsellor. Tell the GP about the fact you work, and explain how motivated you are and how Meth is not what you want and why, subutex is supposed to begood but harder to get as it is expensive fo the docs to prescribe, if he won't give you that maybe try a DF rapid detox. Cold Turkeying it is too hard for many - get help - plan a date and start a rapid reduction plan. You will feel the pain but not as much as turkeing, DF's, Subutex maybe a few sleeping tablets at night for a short period of time and book time off work!!! Two weekis if possible.

I have never taken Gear - but lots of other drugs speed, E's, coke, vallies, cannibis, smoked crack once, so to an extent I undersatnd. All at parties and all occasional. I have never been addicted to anything bar maybe fags! Drugs are good but so what nothing beats a naturally happy day where life feels good and there is no come down, or stress. I enjoy being straight and would never want to be on something everyday. That way when you have a few drinks at the weekend, or go to a party once a month and have the occasional blow out you enjoy it more. Life does not revolve around drugs. Its about your dreams ambition family plans, above all human relationship and real love, and Gear damages them all. Its about good days and bad days. Gear levels it all out and makes every day the same - GROUNDHOG DAY!! It is a drug about your head your needs - a selfish druig your are in your world who can really get in? When you are off it everything will be heightened - the good feeling will be better, your love will be stronger you will more alive! Yes you will feeel pain and stress and problems but if you can get over this you can handle anything.

I have more respect for a TRULY ex addict, than someone who has never touched it - when you were clean you will know you have achieved something amazing. That will be the best free high you have evr experienced and some day soon this hell you are stuck in now will all be a distant memory.

My man stopped using on the 15th August we had all sorts of slip ups and lapses but he has kept going, and so have I -just! I have just had five really good days with him - no slip ups and reducing his Df's & vallies every day. Not a bad achievment for someone who has had a £40-60 habit and has been on and of the Gear for 7/8 years.

We went out for dinner and did other stuff and had loads of sex when we came home- which we didn't have for 3 months when he was habbited up.
The sex is such a lovely bonding experience that is so healing and something that you don't know how you coped without when you get it back. The trust is returning as during the day he has been going out swimming! Hanging out with non users and is showing real determination since I gave him the ultimatuim last week.

Doctor tonight keep your fingers crossed for us. Your help is appreciated.

Keep in touch Linz and let me know how it goes. concentrate on one day at a time and go for it...accept all help and and find out about acupuncture from your local Drugs Action Team - it will be free and helps with craving and rattling when your detox begins.


Love and Light to all who try

allyKat
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Postby popepp » Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:45 pm

Hi i was on heroin for 3 years got off it in 1998 moved away and started a new life. Then i went back to the old places and am now doing a cold turkey again i have got some subetex the doctor wouldnt give them to me i had to buy them on the street. I am into my third day now and belive me it does get easier and you will forget about it think of those who love you and you will get through it trust me if you need to talk i am here
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Postby allyKAT » Thu Sep 22, 2005 11:12 am

Jusy wondering how things are going with you?

Love and Light

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