Long term weed habit - getting control or quit

Postby Furtive » Wed Jan 01, 2014 9:31 pm

Hello all,

Trying to get control over my weed habit, which might well mean quitting.
About 6 years ago I gave up nicotine (after 18 years smoking heavily) and that was hard, and I found it very helpful to read quitter forums for that, so here I am.

My story is less intense than many others here -
My weed habit has minimal cost, I grow my own supply outdoors, quite easily, and I use a vape, so really it's not about my physical health or wealth - I'm not in any pain without it either.

My main reason for quitting is that I don't like the control that ganja has over my mind - its main effect these days is to make me want more, rather than being a good buzz in itself.
I don't know for sure if I'm done with it yet but it feels like it.
Somehow though I don't have the common decency to get paranoid and know for sure, like I did with LSD about 20 years ago.

Maybe I can stop for, say, a month, and then enjoy it sensibly again.
I doubt it TBH ....Otherwise I wouldn't be overusing it, QED .....but anyway.....
I don't tend to wake and bake but most days I use about a gram and this is bad for my memory.
And my temper, and my productivity.

So my current plan ......
..... Is to abstain until February and then see how I feel about it.
Been off it about 8 days today, through the party season, with a large harvest stash, so that's something. My sleep is good and I'm feeling heaps better in the mornings already.

I don't think I know anyone who does use it in moderation
Except a couple of guys who never buy/get their own, and another who only smokes it in Holland.
So it seems to me that it is very addictive and requires either total quit or draconian rules making it more trouble than it's worth.

So that's where I'm at.
I'll keep a quit journal here if I can
Maybe it'll help someone else like me.
I hear about people taking 'tolerance breaks' - maybe that's all I'm doing , I just don't know yet.

:)
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#1

Postby Newyearnewyou » Wed Jan 01, 2014 10:19 pm

Hi furtive, nice one on 8 days 😄, I'm damn sure I couldn't have been that strong with a large stash so total respect. I would love to be able to be a moderate smoker but it just isn't going to happen. I think after reading lots of threads on here, it seems that total abstinence is the only way forward. Day 4 for me and so far the best day. Let's see what tomorrow brings!
Keep going strong, you are winning 😉
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#2

Postby Vape Addict » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:51 pm

I agree with you - I'd love to be able to do it in moderation but I can't. An article I read said "an addict can give up or cut down temporarily but will always return to their previous usage". Found it so true every time I tried (and failed!) to control my habit.

You must be so strong minded to not do your harvest - really admire your self-control!
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#3

Postby itsanewdaywohoo » Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:23 am

Hi Furtive,
welcome on board, I am on day 76 after a 20 year plus habit, also had a large stash when I quit and it was no problem while the initial quitting enthusiasm and momentum was there.

I also think its all or nothing, for me at least, I made the decision to stop once and just stopped, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't terrible either, given I made the decision, I don't have to re-visit that choice, the decision is made, if or when I feel like smoking I just remind myself that its not an option, works well for me.

I got rid of everything over about 3 weeks - I do recommend you get rid of everything if you are serious about quitting, having it around just makes it harder, especially around the 3-4 week mark I found.

Good luck and be kind to yourself.
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#4

Postby Furtive » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:00 pm

Thanks for the replies :)

Yes it's been quite easy so far, but I know this could well be a 'honeymoon' period.

With tobacco I found that it got really hard at about 3 weeks in, lasting about another 2 months.
A few layers of self-denial peeled away and I felt emotionally broken. It was shocking and I had 3 nights where my nightmares were genuinely obscenely unbearable.

With cannabis I'm hoping that there won't be a similar watershed but I'm preparing for it anyway.
I'm lucky to have a supportive loving wife, who doesn't deserve to be put through my horrors over and over again, so if it's really bad I will dispose of the stash when the horrors start.

I like that advice to 'be kind' to myself ..... Yep, I tend to be harsh and unkind about things.

Eg. If I ever claim that I 'need' it for 'medical' reasons......I deserve to be euthanized.
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#5

Postby Furtive » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:02 pm

Bit of a rough night.....Today had some tough moments, I was tempted.

I just read on here that 8 months might be a reasonable guess
At how long it'll take to get back to normal.

I guess that's about how long it took to fully shake off the nicotine.
So be it.
I'm not going to use weed for the wrong reason again.
It's about enhancing life or it's not at all.
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#6

Postby Furtive » Fri Jan 03, 2014 10:57 pm

There are a couple of things I want to say,
About my outlook on ganja.
Whether it helps you or not, it's truth.

1) Saying that it's "just a plant" is missing the point.
Our bodies' endogenous cannabinoid pathway is crucial for the pleasure we get from food.
Babies with genetic mutations breaking their anandamide pathway don't suckle - they die.
Cannabinoids are not a trivial plaything - we have instincts dealing with satiation and contentment,
Stuff that forces us to change our diet if it lacks key ingredients etc ...
That's what gets tweaked by weed. That's where its power lies.
So, I do not underestimate the pull of cannabis, its effect on a physiology/psychology.

2) Addiction is addiction whatever the substance being abused.
Whether booze, smack, whatever, the harm lies in the reason for doing it.
If someone drinks until there's none left, y'know, don't blame the booze.
If I get high instead of sorting my life out, I don't blame the weed or say it should be banned.
Prohibition is no answer, and the benefits of legalization might be enormous once proper research gets going. It's not one drug or even one species, it is going to diversify more and produce something new, like apples came from crab apples and roses before that.
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#7

Postby Vape Addict » Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:00 pm

Thanks for your comment about throwing my vaporisers out - your advice always make lots of sense to me!

I felt much less tempted today cos I had a better nights sleep - everything is harder to deal with when you are tired and willpower is never as strong. Yesterday was bad, today ok, day 5 tomorrow and no idea how I might feel in the morning ... Just taking it one day at a time and dealing moment to moment.

This time I am giving up though choice and not just because I've run out and can't get hold of any - makes big difference to motivation.

I'm sure it will get easier - it has to - every time you don't give in to temptation remember to tell yourself how proud you are that you are so strong minded in your determination to quit :D
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#8

Postby Furtive » Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:13 am

No probs VA,

I'm also having a much better day today after a much better night. :)
The only dream I remember was very simple to understand....

....I squeezed a load of gank out of my brow, like a blackhead,
But enough poison leaving my head to fill a cup.

Very simple, clear imagery.

Tomorrow might be harder again
but I'll remember this first decent night's sleep as a milestone at around 2 weeks into quitting.
At this point I think it's going to be about 3 months to get back to 'normal'
Even though I won't recognize normal because ive been stoned for something like 26 years.
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#9

Postby Furtive » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:32 pm

In the past when I've had breaks from pot (always unwanted breaks)
I've had the usual symptoms and then come back to it, all excited,
Fired some up,
And then been disappointed.

Like maybe I've been looking forward to that first high again for over a week
And when it comes, it's actually quite dull compared to the anticipation.

well okay a lot of things in life are like that, but I'm just saying that a lot of the cravings etc
Are lies based on false expectations.

Similar to this is the effect where a really strong, "good" bit of bud always seems to be elusive.
Like the first surprise high from it would be a frightening experience I'd endure, like it 'caught me out' round my mate's house, and I'd be looking forward to that rush again the next day from the bit I bought, but somehow it never hits like that again.
This happened to me recently with a plant I grew myself - the first sample of it beat me up and I felt unwell, almost passing out standing up, but then further buds of it just seem like a shadow of that.
At the time I put it down to having caught a virus or something.

Thinking about it now, sober, I wonder why I even tried that plant again after the first experience with it being literally unpleasant.

I wonder how many other people recognize what I'm talking about.
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#10

Postby Furtive » Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:39 am

Feeling pretty good. :) Sleeping well, easy waking, memory is much improved, and I feel mentally sharp again - really noticing it at work and in a pub quiz.

So I guess this is a point where it could be tempting to use again, over-confident, maybe.
Not going to break my self promise to stay off it until at least February, though, and even then I fully intend to have another month clear after each future use in 2014. Every time.
If it can't be under control then it's never.

Time will tell
I might really dislike the fugue now I appreciate the clarity again......

Decided to give a big lump to a mate for his birthday, he'll appreciate it even if I don't partake too.
Handling it was a bit odd, I feel differently about it now, for sure.
I think I'm done with it, and I had no idea it would be like this when it happened....

apologies if this sounds like bragging but I'm just being honest
And if I screw up
I'll be honest about that too.
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#11

Postby HDog455 » Tue Jan 07, 2014 3:11 am

I believe the main issue is whether or not you are looking forward to a day in the future when it will be OK for you to have a smoke. If so then you are not finished with it and you will probably really enjoy the experience after a long abstinence.

It won't be until a week or so later that you will realise that you have gone back to where you started and, by then, it will be too late. You will have to start the Quitting process all over again.

A lot of opinion in regard to the concept of a daily user being able to become an occasional smoker has been previously posted on this form. Please see the following thread that I started a while back.

http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... ker#473369
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#12

Postby Vape Addict » Tue Jan 07, 2014 1:27 pm

Thank you HDog455 - reading that link has really helped clarify my thoughts. I know that I can never get stoned again because I will just creep back up to my previous high usage.

Furtive - I totally get where you are coming from :) Day 8 for me now. Just need some sleep!
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#13

Postby Furtive » Tue Jan 07, 2014 2:04 pm

Thanks Hdog,

I read that thread and yes, I expect I'm not different from the majority of folks, why would I be?
It seems likely that it'll be more trouble than it's worth if/when I use it again.

I wouldn't say that I am looking forward to the day I have some more, TBH, it's more like I accept that I'm likely to, and I would be interested to see if I enjoy it again, and how badly it hooks me after one session, once I've got some sobriety to lose/compare it with.

It's honestly a case of not knowing if it's 'never again',
Whereas with nicotine I knew for sure.
Quitting that was seriously unpleasant, which really strengthened my resolve not to return to square one with it. I nearly lost my marbles doing that.
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#14

Postby Furtive » Thu Jan 09, 2014 11:46 am

Wow, there's been a bit of self-deception already. :oops:

Firstly the good news -
although I have been counting December 29th as Day 1, that's ignoring a week clean before it. Really I stopped the "gram per day" sometime around early December, and usage since then has been minimal - only one vape bag per session - instead of 6 - 10.
So it's fair to say that I've broken my heavy use habit for a month.

Now, the bad news.
When I decided to put a lump aside for a mate, 3 days ago, I decided to make it into a small lump of hash, instead of a much bigger lump of bud.
So I did so, but then stupidly ate the sticky residue off my fingertips.
Tiny amounts, but still I felt the effect, and there were no dreams that night, and it was harder to wake up the following morning, day before yesterday.

So I'm actually back to day 3, I guess.

Well, I'm not angry with myself about it. Recovery from it has been rapid and painless so far.
Last night, when I thought about it, I was just really happy that things have changed since November.

The vape is remaining packed away until .... .?.... I dunno....

one thing I noticed since the decision to change - I am singing a lot more.
Just generally singing along to whatever's on, whistling, whatever - much happier. :D
I cleaned the kitchen just before bed last night, it's an amazing change.
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