I'm scared of dying

Postby Fizz141 » Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:32 pm

So I’m absolutely terrified of dying. Terrified is kind of an under statement to be honest. It’s the one thing I don’t ever one to come face to face with even though I will and I’m scared I won’t know how to deal with it when I do.
I don’t know if I can say whether I have a phobia of it but considering many have a phobia of things like spiders and water because they’re afraid of them, then I guess I have a phobia of dying.
To start with, I’m a 15 year old perfectly healthy girl who’s just left school and is going onto college. My life is totally normal at the minute and there’s no signs of death or damage to my health that has been making me think and feel this way but I’ve just been like this ever since I was little which is pretty sad.

I’ve never properly talked about this to anyone in my life. I guess sharing my thoughts and feelings with someone else anonymously kind of makes me feel better.
I guess not so much ‘death' itself. I’m learning to accept that it happens to all of us. Doesn’t mean I haven’t considered silly ways of living forever in my past- things like a manmade heart but I’ve been told that the rest of your body would just give up anyway which sucks.

But it’s the dying. More the, what happens after, rather than the actual dying process. Sure I worry about experiencing lying on my death bed and taking my last final breath. But the thing that scares the crap out of me is knowing that I’ll never be alive again.. that I will have no consciousness and I will literally be dead for billions of years, that I will NEVER live again. Like, how long has the whole universe existed? Probably would be close to like an infinite amount of time- don’t quote me on that. But knowing that I will live to say, 75 years maybe? It can seem like a long time, yet compared to how long the earth and everything on it has existed, it seems like the shortest time given to live. And that scares me. To know that I’ll just disappear into particles or whatever and be nothing and I won’t get a chance to see what the world will be like in billions of years to come and that eventually the earth will collide with the sun or all existence will die out somehow. I just can’t imagine it. Not feeling or thinking anything. That I will be dead forever.

And then I think, it’s sometimes cruel that I’ve had to be put on earth and think like this already. But I’m grateful for my life because I’ve met some amazing people and hope to do amazing things in the future. It just doesn’t make me think that I would rather not have been born than have to live in fear of dying. Or if I could just die in my sleep so I’m not aware of myself dying or if I could just have a quick painless death.
This whole thinking process drives me crazy and each time I think about dying, it never changes and gets better.

I recently read The Fault In Our Stars and there’s a part in it where Augustus wishes to die remembered and leave a legacy of himself behind and that he fears oblivion but Hazel tells him that eventually time will come to a part where the most famous of people won’t have anyone to remember them become no one will exist or something along those lines. And that really comforted me and made me realise you shouldn’t live life for others to remember you by, just live life doing the things you wish to do.

I’ve heard that as you get older you come to terms with dying and just accept it but it’s the fear of never existing that scares me, I just hope that given time I’ll become less afraid of dying because I don’t want to feel this way forever.
I often think about this at night now and then around 2AM when everyone else in the house is asleep so it’s quiet and I’m alone with no distractions or disturbances. And yeah I admit, I often cry over thinking this way. Sometimes from a few tears to half an hour of unstoppable crying. Because it does scare me and when I think about all these things at one, I can’t help but cry.
I don’t know if anyone else ever considers dying on a frequent basis but it would be nice to know if others do and hear from them. As I said I’ve never talked to anyone about this.
It would be really nice to hear from anyone about how they feel on the subject or any advice that can help my fear of dying.
Thank you.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:27 am

Fizz141 wrote: But the thing that scares the crap out of me is knowing that I’ll never be alive again.. that I will have no consciousness and I will literally be dead for billions of years, that I will NEVER live again.


How do you know that you will never be alive again? What makes you think you will have no consciousness? You have absolutely no idea, neither does anyone else. You are afraid of a hypothetical, not reality.
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#2

Postby Fizz141 » Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:41 am

I just imagine that because your body decades or is burnt into nothing but ashes that you wouldn't still have consciousness? I'm not sure I can fully believe in things like the soul and spirits or afterlife, etc.. Even though that would be very comforting to know that you would still have a mind even after you die.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:08 am

Well given you are so scared, do you think it just might be a reasonable idea to learn about other ways of looking at what happens after death? If you are scared, then seek more knowledge, different knowledge. Don't just accept what you think you know to be the way things are.
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#4

Postby Fizz141 » Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:11 am

Hmm, good idea. Will do that, thank you!
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#5

Postby tokeless » Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:42 pm

All I can advise is try and think of all the things you can do BEFORE you die. As you say, it's inevitable at some point, so stop worrying about life and live it... you only get one shot. Use it well.
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#6

Postby Fizz141 » Wed Jul 16, 2014 3:39 pm

Thank you
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#7

Postby sakoz » Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:50 pm

Your afraid of dying when it's not imminent? What 'is' present? Your thought OF...
Try this, instead of thinking of dying, think of a different thought that disturbs you. We experience our thoughts.
Where you afraid of the bogyman when very young? Only the concept/image was in your mind; when you recognized that, you stopped being afraid.
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#8

Postby malight » Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:09 pm

Usually , it's not death that most people fear but the pain of death. If you where dead you wouldn't be able to think about life. If that where true it's the same as living forever, you would own your life forever and not feel like you lost it because you can't feel when you're dead,
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#9

Postby TheCloud » Sun Jul 20, 2014 2:01 am

If you want to know what it's like being dead, just remember back to how you were before you were conceived. You've already been dead for billions of years, so it's not something you're going into without any preparation.

Or, another way to look at it is, how similar are you even from moment to moment in your life? You're a different person from who you were ten years ago; that child is dead. The person you were last week is dead. Forget lasting 75 years, you don't even last 75 seconds before becoming a new person, and the person you are 75 seconds from now definitely isn't you. You're living a life created by someone you can never speak to, to the benefit or detriment of someone whose voice you will never hear. Is it still so scary to die in 60 years when you're already going to die right now?
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#10

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sun Jul 20, 2014 8:51 am

Fear is the thought pattern that holds us back from happiness the most, and it is just a thought pattern and we can let it go
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#11

Postby DaltonFitzgerald » Thu Oct 12, 2017 5:29 pm

Three years later... I'm afraid, first of all, that I don't have any helpful suggestions.

I just wanted you to know that I'm a 26 year old man from California, and your post could have been written by me almost word-for-word.

I always hope that we can be here for each other, so I just wanted to say... even if this leaves me stumped and utterly terrified as well, you're not alone! <3
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#12

Postby JuliusFawcett » Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:52 pm

There is no death, our bodies are made of stardust, billions of years old, only the ego is attached to the idea of death
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#13

Postby Aghayden » Fri Oct 13, 2017 1:27 am

There's a great book called, "The Denial of Death" by Earnest Becker that explains the fear of death very insightful. He calls it death terror, and claims that our fear of death motivates a lot of what we do as humans. He believes it's the motivation behind religion (we get to live forever), families (we get to live on through our children), and even creative work (we get to live on through our art).

It's a great book, and although it won't eliminate your fear of death, it will give you some insight and ideas to work with.
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#14

Postby laureat » Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:04 am

I love living but i dont think its a good idea to live forever

Why would you live forever?

I dont know if there are ppl who would enjoy fishing for another 10 millions of years,
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