You want me to settle the matter? Then settle the matter I shall. All parties involved must read and sign the following contract:
This undisputable contract designates an official settling of a dispute between two opposing parties. The parties involved, following the application of a signature to the appropriate location upon this contract, will be entered into a virtual arena where they will be forced to fight to the death for the entertainment of thousands of visitors. The surviving party of this virtual battle shall be officially declared the righteous party in the aforementioned dispute by the designated authority.
Signed: BLauritson (Designated authority)
Signed: _________ (First combatant)
Signed: _________ (Second combatant)