how to overcome shyness??

Postby pratheeksha hegde » Tue May 26, 2015 6:18 pm

There were specials classes at school , with many workshops conducted they asked many questions to audiences and I had answers to some of them but I couldn't speak up, It was like I was stuck to the chair I was sitting on, If not, after the workshop ended I would regret why didn't I spoke up, is there any solution to this shyness??
pratheeksha hegde
Junior Member
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2015 6:59 pm
Likes Received: 0


#1

Postby ciara101 » Tue May 26, 2015 6:41 pm

I'm a really shy person myself who suffers from anxiety. All I can say is to step out of your comfort zone and SPEAK OUT. Maybe join classes that will improve your shyness and surround yourself with new people. People all have their own fears and challenges, so your not alone. Your you and unique, people will realise and like you for you. Be confident, be you and if your shy, so? everyone is in some way! :)
ciara101
New Member
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 6:23 pm
Likes Received: 1

#2

Postby madkhaos » Fri May 29, 2015 2:28 pm

I use to be like this but what makes it easier and better is practice, practice and practice. Start speaking your opinion or views to friends, family and small groups. Just be more verbal in your actions and emotions, then it will get easier to come across to bigger crowds. Start small and work your way up, you will feel more comfortable each time. I also use to be shy until I overcame my fear of public speaking, this is common in millions of people. Just remember you must read and study your material so you don't freeze up or get stumped. If you get stuck in a question say " Ill have to get back with you on that " and if you really don't know simply tell them and say " I will find the answer from some of our resources and we can follow up on it " . Don't try to lie or ramble on about nonsense. If you need any help or more info, I'm here to help! Good luck!
madkhaos
New Member
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon May 25, 2015 4:11 pm
Likes Received: 0

#3

Postby Dennis Vasiliev » Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:39 pm

1. I believe that confidence is a choice. If from this moment forward you decide that you are confident, you will immediately act differently.

2. Change your perspective from I am trying to make a good impression on everybody when you speak to everybody wants to hear what I have to say.

3. Work on your voice. Your voice can be a huge confidence booster or completely opposite.

4.Look how successful speakers present themselves, how they act on stage, how they talk and structure the whole presentation from the beginning till end.

5. Practice, practice and practice. You brain has to get a lot of proof that you are good at public speaking. After 5th time your brain will say: "hmm, you did it already like 5 times, you didn't die, you're actually pretty good at this, go on", and all the fear and anxiety will disappear.
Dennis Vasiliev
Junior Member
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2015 4:34 pm
Likes Received: 9

#4

Postby laureat » Wed Jun 17, 2015 4:39 pm

Confidence comes with awareness

When you become aware that expectations we have from ouselves most of the times is nonsense, so than you free oneself from the bs responsibilities, and so this gives more freedom to stand focused on the process instead on the BS

When you become aware that you are doing good
For example a student should not expect from oneself to be as good as the professor he should understand he is doing good, he is studing, and somewhere on the future he will be as good as professor, but not now,
Professors has spent so many years on review with the same information, and they have memorized it so good , i cannot compete with all that with one month study

So you become aware, you are doing good,
And you are not even unsure about it
Even if someone tells you are doing bad
It doesnt even create 10% confusion
Because you know exactly you are doing what you are supposed to do, you are doing good
So nobody can make you confused, unsure, or doubt oneself

And shyness disappear
Because shyness is an expression of being uncomfortable
You are comfortable you know there is not something wrong
Even if there is something wrong life is the way it is
So shyness disappears because you are aware
Shyness disappear because you dont feel guilty no more
You dont have any bs expectation
You dont become extreme excited
You simply enjoy, and little smile is good enough
No need for extreme respecting others
Simple simile for few seconds is good enough

And as you keep doing your job, confidence will strengthen
It is same like in football ( soccer )
Talents 18 years old are unsure about themselves
But those with 30 years old , they already understand they are doing good and are more conformtable
And those 35 years old can also teach the youngsters
And those 40 years old become a coach
And those 50 years old become real charisma, inspiration for others
An 18 years youngster should never even think about competing with 50 year legend
Because that is a disrespectful expectation
He may be really talented but cannot compete with that

And if you are aware how this process goes there is no need to become shy
You dont feel guilty if you are on the level of youngsters for example
So you become confident, and you respect the process
laureat
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1142
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 10:45 pm
Likes Received: 85

#5

Postby c19h » Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:10 am

1. Practice. Rome wasn't built overnight and nor do you have to overcome shyness in a day. It takes time, but you'll get there.

2. Stop focusing on yourself. Instead of thinking "oh god oh god oh god" the next time someone addresses you or pays you attention, shift your focus from yourself to that person. In what way can you help him or her? This eases the tension of thinking that you're taking up that person's time or don't have anything viable to say.

3. Be yourself. Ok - a complete cliche, but as soon as you realize that you have a great personality and people actually WANT to talk to you and are interested in what you have to say, it helps with the tension.

Hang in there, you'll find your voice. :) I struggled with this for years (I'm definitely not yet completely confident, but I have made major progress!)
c19h
New Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:51 am
Likes Received: 1

#6

Postby Alexisrbaker » Wed Jul 01, 2015 4:08 am

I understand where most of the replies are coming from, but I know for me a somewhat shy introvert, the more I assert my opinions and speak out and engage in conversation the more I tend to avoid doing it again. It's not negative reactions from the listeners or anything like that, I believe it's lack of understanding or thought. People don't like to think deeply I find and when I say something they don't tend to have a response and the conversation stops. What are you supposed to do then? I've tried being the instigator but that doesn't seem to work out either? Anyone else have this particular issue?
Alexisrbaker
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2015 3:04 am
Likes Received: 0

#7

Postby spitchconsulting » Mon Jul 06, 2015 1:50 pm

Public speaking is not a big deal, and the best way to overcome your shyness is practicing.

Ask for the more présentations you can, prepare each of them carefully and rehearse, rehearse, rehearse it...

Once you are in front of your public, just do 3 simple things :

- open your arms,
- keep the eye contact with them
- and smile

You will gain in confidence each time more.
spitchconsulting
New Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2015 1:38 pm
Likes Received: 0

#8

Postby JasonB138 » Thu Aug 06, 2015 7:17 pm

Finding the cause of your shyness will help you get to the root of why it is happening. Once you find the cause, then you can figure out how to fix it. For example, if there is a leak in a pipe and you don't know where the leak is, no matter what you do, it will continue to leak. So you can try methods that band-aid the problem and they might help to an extent but figuring out why you are shy, will help you get to the root of it.
JasonB138
Junior Member
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:26 am
Likes Received: 4

#9

Postby jonathontwiz » Sun Jun 12, 2016 5:57 pm

You have to exude confidence. Don't be afraid to look foolish. Always maintain eye contact when talking to people. Own your space.
jonathontwiz
Junior Member
 
Posts: 31
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:36 pm
Likes Received: 4

#10

Postby Mazkal » Tue Jun 14, 2016 3:58 am

Shyness is really linked to your self esteem/ self confidence. There is no simple way to overcome shyness however getting yourself out of your comfort zone to really see what you are capable of achieving is one great way to help build your confidence.

I would recommend thinking of some of your key fears and simply placing yourself in a situation where you can safely face these fears. For some this may be getting involved in a public speaking group such as Toastmasters, joining a debate team, or doing something crazy like going sky diving to face your fear of heights.

Once you see that you are capable of more than what you thought, your self esteem will grow. And with that your shyness will ease away.
Mazkal
New Member
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2016 3:45 am
Likes Received: 0

#11

Postby gavinfg » Sat Jul 16, 2016 1:14 pm

I was a bit shy when I was in high school...
but, u know, humans have high tendency to form community, we may need to overcome it
It is the society norm, sadly.
Since then, I try to become active in university and work
I would say, you may not feel comfortable with it at the beginning but practice makes perfect
gavinfg
New Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 10:43 am
Likes Received: 4

#12

Postby Ita Olsen » Tue Aug 02, 2016 5:08 pm

Remember that what you have to say is important & that others will very likely benefit from it.

Do relaxation exercises! Stress & anxiety cause us to clam up and become "frozen." You need to do them a few times a day & you'll need to bring YourRelaxedPlace into the different environments you find yourself in.

I can help you! Please reach out to me!

Warm regards,
Ita Olsen
Ita Olsen
New Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 4:25 pm
Likes Received: 0

#13

Postby Lindsay777 » Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:10 pm

Dennis Vasiliev wrote:1. I believe that confidence is a choice. If from this moment forward you decide that you are confident, you will immediately act differently.

2. Change your perspective from I am trying to make a good impression on everybody when you speak to everybody wants to hear what I have to say.

3. Work on your voice. Your voice can be a huge confidence booster or completely opposite.

4.Look how successful speakers present themselves, how they act on stage, how they talk and structure the whole presentation from the beginning till end.

5. Practice, practice and practice. You brain has to get a lot of proof that you are good at public speaking. After 5th time your brain will say: "hmm, you did it already like 5 times, you didn't die, you're actually pretty good at this, go on", and all the fear and anxiety will disappear.



Agree with you
Lindsay777
New Member
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:07 pm
Likes Received: 1

#14

Postby Purple_Monkey » Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:03 pm

In my opinion, the main thing that can help you to overcome a shyness is a constant practice. You should force yourself to speak, even through it is really difficult. It will appear much more easier for you after you do it many times.
You can also set "tasks" to yourself for each day and each time increase the difficulty of this task. For example:
1 day To answer at least one question
2 day To speak at least for a minute e.t.c.
Also write in a diary what you've achieved and reward yourself for success.

You can firstly practise speaking in front a small group of people you trust to, like family or friends and ask them for review and suggestion and than try to say the same speach in front of the bigger group.

I am a kind of shy myself, but I used to be much worth. In some point of my life, even an ordinary shopping was a real problem for me. However I mostly overcome it with practise and now I am able to sing karaoke in front of people. Excuse my mistake, I am not a native English speaker.
Purple_Monkey
Junior Member
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 8:35 pm
Location: Ukraine
Likes Received: 3


Next

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Public Speaking