Yes it can definitely be learned! There are great books, YouTube channels, you name it on it. Learning to interact is about much more than just talking. It is about confidence, body language, storytelling and seeing how it all comes together through practice.
Books on top of my head I would recommend:
- The Definitive Book of Body Language
- How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
- The Charisma Myth
- Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges
First of all – great that you are trying to interact already. But just going to bars and clubs is so limited. Why not go to other public places where you can meet people. And use any other interaction outside and inside of work to practice your social skills.
At the grocery store, on the street, applying for meetings with clients instead of just programming. You name it. Start saying hi to people on the street, initiating small conversations.
If you want to practice your speech – why not do it in front of the mirror. Or tape it, play it and listen how fast you talk. Try again and then adjust. Tape, repeat and learn.
As for becoming charismatic - Read this article (as part of a bigger series) http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/11/12/the-3-elements-of-charisma-power/
. It is awesome for getting to know the base principles.
Does that answer your questions a bit?
If you want to know more - you can PM me, I know the struggle and like to help