My father still thinks, that I am anorexic

Postby Purple_Monkey » Sat Feb 13, 2016 8:52 pm

Hello! My name is Lia. Excuse my poor English. I am not a native English speaker. I used to be anorexic 3 years ago, but now I am within the healthy weight range(my BMI is 18.5) and don't try to loose weight anymore, but my father stiil thinks, that I am too skinny. He tries to control me and my weight. When I loose some weight because of illness or stress, he begins to panic. How should I behave towards him? Thank you in advance.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Feb 14, 2016 1:19 am

Given you are at 18.5 it is like you standing on the edge of a cliff and wondering why your father might be worried. He is worried, because you have proven in the past to be willing to jump and instead of being comfortably away from the edge, like a BMI of 21-22, you are standing there, toes over the edge. And then to add to your fathers pain, you look back at him and say, "Well if I get sick or have some stress, I might fall below 18.5."

To make your father feel comfortable I would recommend you take 2 easy steps...

-1- Go to a doctor and determine a minimum healthy weight for you. This will comfort your father in knowing that a 3rd person that is a doctor has helped determine a minimum healthy weight. It will also help you if your father still thinks it is not enough. You can use the doctor to calm your father and reassure him. In other words, you can use the doctors opinion to your benefit.

-2- Be open and honest with showing your father how much you weigh and that you weigh at least the minimum as agreed upon by you and the doctor. Normally I would say your weight is a personal matter and it is not for your father to be involved, but you have a history of being anorexic, so if you want to calm your father there is only one easy solution and that is open, honest communication which includes showing him how much you weigh.

Now you don't have to take my advice and make your father feel comfortable, but if you don't then I believe he will continue to insert himself and try to control you and your weight.
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#2

Postby PalmaNova » Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:53 pm

And I think you should put a few more kilos . For my standards you are still underweight. Maybe you should start with some exercises ,to increase your muscle mass. But you should consult your doctor first.
Talk with your father, be patience, because believe me it's not easy for him too. Your father is worried because he loves you.
Tell him that you we go to the doctors together and that he doesn't have reason to be worried.
Wish you good luck girl :)
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#3

Postby Christine132456 » Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:21 am

PalmaNova wrote:And I think you should put a few more kilos . For my standards you are still underweight. Maybe you should start with some exercises ,to increase your muscle mass. But you should consult your doctor first.
Talk with your father, be patience, because believe me it's not easy for him too. Your father is worried because he loves you.
Tell him that you we go to the doctors together and that he doesn't have reason to be worried.
Wish you good luck girl :)


I agree with PalmaNova, just be honest with your dad and tell him that you honestly arnt trying to looks weight, and in fact gain it. I would go to docs and make sure your a healthy weight and get advice from them
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#4

Postby Purple_Monkey » Sun Feb 21, 2016 2:59 pm

Thank you for your comments. My doctor also thinks, that it would be better for me to gain 2-3 kg more, but at least I should eat normally and don't loose any weight. I am a naturaly slender person and my max BMI ever was 19.5. Now I don't even calculate calories and my body maintains my current weight by itself. Unfortunately , when I was anorexic I used to lie to my father, so he doesn't trust me anymore, but now i try to be honest with him.
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#5

Postby Christine132456 » Sun Feb 21, 2016 5:51 pm

Honesty is the best policy! You always need to talk to people when going through things like this. But you have got to remember that your so lucky your naturally thin! Same as me, I can eat as much as I want and I'm still super skinny!
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#6

Postby prololies » Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:32 am

Try to go to the gym and workout, get some muscle and be fit. This will definitely show your father that you're not anorexic anymore. Muscle weigh more than fats given the same area taken, so you will look slimmer but heavier. Hope this helps :)
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#7

Postby Purple_Monkey » Sun Apr 03, 2016 12:51 pm

prololies, thank you for your advise. I go to the gym and completely agree with you, that muscles make body look better. In my current weight I look quite slim, but also have some "meat on my bones". Unfortunately, I almost lost my breasts because of my ED and don't know what I can do with that. I used to have beautiful breasts, but now they are almost flat(
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