seeking people's approval

Postby superwomanlilly1 » Mon May 02, 2016 3:41 pm

I don't know if this is a self esteem problem or not but I kinda need every single person I meet to think I'm beautiful or I become depressed. It's not that I'm uncertain of my beauty, I just need people to like me. Well my face to be precise. I get that everyone has different opinions but when someone offends me I feel like crying but I don't because I act too confident and strong in front of people... I have brown eyes and hair, full lips, huge eyelashes, small nose and a round face. Totally average. So I don't understand why wouldn't people like me. It hurts...
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#1

Postby tijmenklip » Mon May 02, 2016 6:26 pm

Better question, why don't you like yourself enough you need everybody's validation?

Learn to be accept yourself - without the validation, because this is a one way ticket to insecurity town.

You are probably good looking - but don't expect everyone else to acknowledge that - and don't intend to need it. So if I were you, I would reflect upon the reason you need this validation. Go to the pain, insecurity or whatever. Acknowledge it, and learn to be ok with yourself.
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#2

Postby cynthialeighton » Mon May 02, 2016 6:31 pm

superwomanlilly1 wrote:I get that everyone has different opinions


People aren't noticing you as much as you think. Make eye contact and smile at people. Some will smile back, some won't even notice you at all.
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#3

Postby betawarrior » Fri May 13, 2016 6:14 pm

superwomanlilly1 wrote:I don't know if this is a self esteem problem or not but I kinda need every single person I meet to think I'm beautiful or I become depressed. It's not that I'm uncertain of my beauty, I just need people to like me. Well my face to be precise. I get that everyone has different opinions but when someone offends me I feel like crying but I don't because I act too confident and strong in front of people... I have brown eyes and hair, full lips, huge eyelashes, small nose and a round face. Totally average. So I don't understand why wouldn't people like me. It hurts...


First, a question: Is there something that you tend to do in order to get the attention and validation that you want? Do you spend a lot of time putting on makeup? Do you ask people directly, "Do you think I look pretty?"

Second, I would need to know more about your situation, but I think the insecurity you are feeling is alienation. This is when you feel a distance between you and other people. Beauty is one of the ways you are hoping to close that distance.

If I had to guess, the reason you feel this way is because of your upbringing. My guess is that early on in your life, people (your parents, family members, etc.) doted on you for your beauty, giving you lots of attention and love because you were so cute. But then when you grew up, that faded and you got significantly less attention than you were used to. And now you're trying to regain that power back.
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