This is SPAM, promoting your YouTube channel. I can appreciate that you are hurting and in pain, but this is not how you heal or contribute to the community.
I realize you might feel that putting your videos out on Youtube is a catharsis for you and that is great, but I have seen this before and it does not end positively. YouTube is not the proper tool for you. YouTube can come with a lot of negativity, especially related to videos produced more for the one producing the video than those expected to watch the video. IMO, your lighting is bad, sound is bad and delivery is less than appealing. In general, people want a positive messages. They don't want to watch a somber, sad person talking about the sad music they like.
Bottom line, I think there are better, more productive ways you can heal.