Everything is wrong.

Postby This-isnt-me » Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:21 pm

:x :oops: idk why but lately I feel like my life is exploding on me. I have many more bad days than good days. And I'm stressed to the limit of absolutely breaking. I feel close to the episode I had at the beginning of the summer where I ended up in the hospital. I can't understand why I feel like I'm being punished right now. Everything is wrong, my car is breaking down, I'm getting into trouble at work, my fiance and I are fighting, we're having money problems, the puppy won't stop pooping in the house ... like the very smallest things seem so overwhelming to me right now. My mom says it is because I'm unhappy where I am. I don't love the town we live in or the family I'm around. I don't care for the people I work with. But idk how to fix not being happy? We don't have the money to move. I can't afford to quit my job and I'm looking for another but can't find much of anything that pays better. I'm breaking ... Please help.
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#1

Postby darmos653 » Thu Aug 25, 2016 12:37 pm

Ok it seems that psychologically you have quite a lot on your plate right now - "like the very smallest things seem so overwhelming to me right now."

" I feel like I'm being punished right now."

This is telling you that most of your current problems are coming from within. That doesn't mean it's your fault, it just means that your own mind and imagination is working against you right now and not for you. First thing to remember is that everyone has at least one positive aspect to their lives. You should remind yourself of what that is and focus more on it.

Secondly learn to relax, really relax. Make a point of taking out 10 or 15 minutes a day to just get comfortable somewhere quiet and private and relax your body and then your mind. After a few days or so you'll begin to feel a bit better and things may start to become a bit clearer, for example if you're genuinely unhappy with your present location, job etc you need to think about changing your circumstances. Even though you may feel trapped because of lack of money the reality is that you're not trapped at all, you just have to look for an alternative a bit harder than someone with money would, kind of like thinking out of the box a bit more.
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#2

Postby roys12 » Thu Dec 08, 2016 1:16 pm

Hey Darmos,

By saying that EVERYTHING is wrong it means that you choose to look at the negative.
You sound like you are in an uncomfortable place in life where several things are not working out for you and it makes you bitter and then you look at the half empty glass and see EVERYTHING as wrong.

You can take any random person and ask him what's wrong with his life and he will come up with quite a list, even if he is a happy person in general.
The thing is that the opposite is also true, when you look for positive you will find that also, doesn't matter how bad it is for you.

Start by working on your biggest problem first, when you start working on it, even if it will take much time to fix, just to know that you are on the road to fix it is a major positive feeling.
Even before you cross that problem off of your list you will notice that all the smaller problems just disappear.

A very hated guy called Donald Trump once said in his book "I choose to look at the solution and not at the problem"
he said that in the 80's when the real estate market was in bad shape and he went from being a rich guy to negative 10 billion (1 billion out of his own cash!) and banks were calling him at 3AM.
Few years later and he is positive a few billions.

Remind yourself everyday those two things:
- Focus on the solution and not on the problem
- Look for what good you do have and focus on that (and you have alot no matter how much you will cry about your life's situation)

Cheers,
Roy

Search for "Roy Shenhav" on YouTube for great personal development tips
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#3

Postby Svetlanaparvathi » Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:46 pm

You know one my friend asked 60 million$ for some construction project, but investors gave him only 40 million dollars, one month already he is in deep alcoholic depression, said that he is going to suicide, this man is very rich, has kids and beautiful wife, but he thinks that everything wrong, and my another friend is living in slums area in India, he is selling tea, 5 rupee, 0, 05 $ per cup, usually when he can make 1$ per day, he is very very happy, so that he can buy a little rice,one sweet ball and even 2 cigarretes, he is sleeping on the earth on banana leaf.
Napoleon also didnt feel good at all, other wise he would never start war, he conquered Poland, still not good, then German, still not good, conquered whole Eroupe, still not good! The rest u know
Or Alexander of Macedon, HOW BAD he felt that he reached India, and then died there. How bad should man feel for killing and disturbing so many people, so many countries?
It s natural to feel that everything is wrong, u can not to get rid of this feeling, just look in the center of this feeling in the source, where from it appearing and where it s disappearing? All ur feelings is temporary, ur body is temporary.
There wer so many big wars and great people in history, but now people hardly remember these wars and people.
Everything will become ash, remember this and u will feel a little relief.
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#4

Postby AlexD » Thu Dec 08, 2016 6:25 pm

Prioritize your problems. There is nothing that you are saying here that is out of your control. That's when you feel the most bitter, because you know you can change all these things, but it'll take some motions, right? Definitely start from the biggest problem first, whichever of the things you mention worries you the most, that's your clearest indication where you start. And it doesn't have to be relentless, just solve one at a time. You can meditate every day 15 minutes after you get up or before you go to bed. These are the times when your brain is most receptive to silence and peace. You can always meditate for five minutes at a time during your day if your anxiety gets to a point where it overwhelms you. But really, don't obsess with the problem as that will not solve it. Many problems are that way because of how we react to them, It is a choice. And yes, you can control your thought process, which is more responsibility, I know, but it also means you have more control than you think.
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#5

Postby SuzieO » Sun Dec 18, 2016 7:12 am

HI
I agree with what the others have said before me. You are the only one who can change your perspective. And normally its your perspective that makes you happy or sad. For me when I have gotten down about my life, it is because I have started to see all the things that are wrong with it. This creates a vicious circle, the more I think things are wrong, the more things seems to go wrong. To get myself out of it I do two things. Firstly I start to find all the things that make me happy and do them, plus I start to deliberately find the good things about my life, including the people in it and where I work. I often do this in the car on the way to work, I make myself find 3-5 good things about going to work today. By the way they are now finding in research into well-being that gratitude is one of the main characteristics of people with good levels of well-being.

The other things I do is to take full responsibility for everything that is happening in my life. I ask myself what thoughts or limiting beliefs do I have about life that is making everything seem so hard or so yuk. I then focus on a new thought and start to reinforce this new thought and belief anyway I can. It could be as little as celebrating or appreciating a very small win for the day. I also look at how this limiting thoughts has impacted on life, and try to see when I started to believe it. Often is from many years ago, normally from childhood. I then remind myself that I am not the same person from back then and that I have many more resources available to me. The key is to always let your self win, even if its a very small win, if you can't find a small win how can you find a big one.
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#6

Postby laureat » Sun Dec 18, 2016 7:36 am

you are living with the belief " everything is wrong "
you cannot be happy if you have such belief

you have to believe everything is really good, so you can feel comfortable

to worry a little about the future and work for better future is ok but too much

search for positive experience,
sometimes relaxation wont come if we dont try to relax
you make it happen for you,
you dont expect it happen by itself

i be like,
this hour i am going to relax more than anybody has ever
i am going to relax and meditate better than budha
this hour i am going to celebrate better than anyone else
i am going to dance better than gangamstyle

you are the one who can attract the good/bad experience

someone may start a fight, it may upset you a little but you again be like, whatever man... and you put your earphones and start to dance, to enjoy
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