Body confidence really getting to me now

Postby Hol123 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:04 am

Hi everyone!

I’m new to this forum, I feel like I need to get this off my chest, I don’t like telling friends & family because I don’t want them to think I’m ‘that slim girl Moaning about her body’

I know everyone should love there body I look at all other women and think they look amazing no matter what size! But can’t bare to look at my self, it all stems from being very self conscious about my boob size (AA)

I do not lack in confidence at all but I dread being out of my clothes, I never stand in front of my partner undressed no matter how much he tells me he loves my body I just think how can he? Women are supposed to have a chest... All men like a set of boobs... like I say I know it shouldn’t bother me and it frustrates me so much how much I let it affect me

I am getting married in Cyprus in August and all of my family and friends will be there I am absolutely dreading being in a bikini surrounded by my friends that I think all look stunning and I know I will let being flat chested bother me so much and I really really don’t want it too

I just wondered if anyone has any tips on how to build body confidence, I regularly go to the gym and really look after myself yet still can’t bare to look at myself in the shower or mirror because of my boob size

Thank you x
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Postby Livetowin » Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:55 pm

Body image affects so many people today thanks to fake Hollywood. But you have to know where to draw the line with practical improvements and the rationality of what you're actions are really saying about the conflict inside yourself and what feeds that.

You say a woman is "supposed" to have boobs. You actually do. Men have them too! Did you know the original drummer for KISS, Peter Criss, even had breast cancer? Yes he did. He survived it and is doing well. But what you're talking about is the stereotype size that clogs magazines, movies, and the internet. You have to be careful how you see those things when it comes to imposing a value system on yourself because you're letting the vanity of others impose a burden on yourself that should never be there.

I understand there's a thing called "personal pride" that is not rooted in catering to outside forces. And that might be where you're coming from. But you really want to evaluate the objective of said 'pride' when you consider your options. Of course you can get implants, but where does the critique go from there? What if you find them drooping? What if you develop health issues? What if you become more self conscious because now you think you get stared at too much? So is a simple implant really the missing link here or does it lead to greater issues? It's a slippery slope you get on when you consider alternatives because you're catering to a image in your mind that is more imagined than real.

Ultimately you are who you are and that starts from the inside first. When I was young, I looked much younger than my age. I hated it then, but at 53 now, I would love to have that problem back. Physical appearance is always going to be a transient matter because we get older and everything changes. I use to obsess over how I looked in bathing trunks with flowing sun bleached hair. Keep in mind I was in my 20's during the MTV age in the 80's so those days are long behind me. I miss moussing my hair. LOL. I go to the gym now but if you stood the current version of me next to the 80's version of me, it would be a pretty sad compare. Do I lose sleep over it? Nope. The irony of it all? I'm happier with myself today then I EVER was back in those days. Two hundred fold more confidence too. Life experience gives you that if you learn from falling down. But more importantly I don't worry what others think. That's nonexistent today.

I was hard on myself back then and I look at pictures now and think, "What the hell was I worried about?!" I let so many superficial notions play in my mind and they gained greater weight because I allowed them to. I dated girls that fit your description and that was never a factor for me in the least. What I saw was a pretty girl. So believe me when I say, it's more in your head than anyone else. Being petite is what most women (and men) dream about, so consider yourself in good company. I've been married over 25 years to my wife and neither one of us are what we use to be. But I didn't fall in love with my wife over breast size and if I could do nothing more than just hug her today that would be enough for me, because I love her more now then when we were young adults.

Appreciate this stage of your life. Revel in your youth. It does not last. Tweaking your insecurities now might sound like a good idea, but later in life you might look back and feel foolish for ever considering it. Only a one dimensional man makes considerations like that for a woman and I hope that is not what you desire. Do you place such a standard on your boyfriend for his body parts? Probably not. So quit being so hard on yourself. You are young, petite, and your boyfriend thinks you're a knock out. What the hell do you have to be depressed over? NOTHING. Quit creating drama for yourself and embrace your life. That stage will be over soon enough and then you'll have to start worrying about the real issues in life as you get older... like gravity. Do yourself a favor and don't add something to that future list of issues. I wish you all the best.
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Postby Hol123 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 5:50 pm

Thank you ever so much for your reply! It’s really what I needed to hear... I never look at other girls with small breasts and think they look any less womanly it’s only with myself, and I am with my partner for nothing more than his great personality and how well we get on and I know it’s the same on his behalf but some days I just feel down about it and I can’t stop it, I am a very positive person this is why it annoys me that I let it get to me

You are so very right though, I should embrace myself and I grateful for everything and about my life I just need to stop letting this get to me as like you said.. it doesn’t matter!

You have put things in perspective, I think need to stop obsessing over this thing as it’s stupid and I know that, just sometimes I let it get the better of me and think it’s somthing worse that what it is

Thank you x
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