by Alfon285 » Sun Aug 19, 2018 11:53 pm
Thanks. That's exactly how I feel. I look at my hands and I feel like they're not my hands, or look in the mirror and feel like it's not me, I lack emotions all the time and I constantly feel like I am in a dream and that nothing is real. Also I feel like I'm not here, like i'm somewhere else and that my body functions automatically (which it actually does, but when you don't have depersonalization you don't feel automatic). Also, things that used to be familiar to me do no longer feel familiar to me, and I have a hard time remembering things. I also have a very hard time concentrating and "thinking". It's like I can't think at all. I know that doesn't sound true because I'm writing this right now, but it's complex, I don't know not to explain it with words. And this not being able to think makes me feel pressure in the frontal side of my head all the time, as if there was something blocked with pressure.
This got triggered during a conversation at a church which then I discovered was a cult. The converation was planned, they forced me to answer what they wanted me to answer and my mind started doing what I answered and the whole situation caused me a lot of psychological stress and I started getting more and more depersonalized as the days went by.