For Anyone That's Experimented Sexually with Siblings/Cousin

Postby DaSilva1727 » Thu Aug 30, 2018 5:12 pm

Hey all,

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about feeling remorseful and guilty about experimenting sexually with siblings & cousins at a young age and I just have some questions:

1) Have any of you ever brought it up with them to explain and apologize ? And if so how did it go ?

2) How's your relationship with them in the current present day ?

I've had a situation of my own when I was a kid so I'm trying to see what other people been through to try to get an idea of how I should deal with my own experience

I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you all :)
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#1

Postby Chad Capote » Tue Oct 16, 2018 10:53 am

Sexual experimentation in young children is not an uncommon concept. Look it up on your search engine, there's plenty online.
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#2

Postby DaSilva1727 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:59 am

Chad Capote wrote:Sexual experimentation in young children is not an uncommon concept. Look it up on your search engine, there's plenty online.


Hi Chad,

Yeah I've read plenty online, probably more then my brain can handle. But I was just trying to get a feel for anyone here that's had their own personal experience who might share their advice. What worries me is that I wasn't really a "young child" anymore. I was in my early teens/adolescent years and that kind of scares me. My brother is almost 6 years younger which worries me too considering the age/power differential. It can borderline between experimenting and abuse, even if there was no major force involved.

Otherwise I would be able to put it behind me and move on from it.
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#3

Postby Chad Capote » Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:20 pm

I suggest you get the guilt off yourself. If talking or apologizing to the sibling or cousin helps, go right ahead. There's a lot of kids in their teens do. You mustn't hold a grudge against yourself for something you did not know how better to do. Had you been informed, your sexual discovery would have been different. But if you were too young, it is not something you should let weigh you down.

Also, if you have read plenty online then I suggest you pause reading anecdotes of other people and try meditation. It helps with keeping the mind and compassion for yourself first and others.
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#4

Postby Chad Capote » Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:21 pm

* There's a lot kids in their teens do
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#5

Postby DaSilva1727 » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:36 pm

Yeah meditation is good. The thing is that I dont do it consistently so the effects dont get the time to blow over.

If I knew wether my brother remembered then I'd bring it up to apologize. But since I'm not sure if he does or not then I might risk bringing up something he doesnt reemember and then risk hurting him with some sort of "false" trauma.

I've been going to therapy for this and a few psychologists said chances are hes not psychologically affected by it judging by the fact that we have somewhat of an alright relationship this present day. However they both have different views wether or not he remembers the event. And that's where I get worried, if the negative effects will manifest later in life since the memory might still be there
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#6

Postby Chad Capote » Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:31 pm

hm, im no expert here then. hope it all goes well.
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#7

Postby DavidJones56 » Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:10 pm

Do police care about it in the uk ?
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#8

Postby Candid » Fri Nov 01, 2019 8:22 am

Not usually. I work in an agency for victims of sexual assault. That means I hear only about the people who are bothered about it. We don't offer counselling for perpetrators.

If it's dad or uncle, it's sometimes a police issue. Reporting to police is always the prerogative of the client, and it doesn't matter how long ago it was.

In cases of a teenager humping a sibling six years younger, clients almost always focus on the relational aspect, the betrayal of trust, and the common scenario that if they tell their parents they get hushed up. That makes them feel alienated from family of origin.

I'm sure there must also be many more who enjoyed it, even if they feel bad about that. Obviously we don't hear about those.
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#9

Postby DavidJones56 » Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:47 pm

Hi candid so do police in the uk do anything about sibling experimenting ?
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#10

Postby Candid » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:38 pm

No, of course not.
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#11

Postby DavidJones56 » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:46 pm

Do you mind me asking how you know this please ? And thanks for the hell also
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#12

Postby Candid » Sun Nov 03, 2019 11:03 pm

If your sister -- or anyone else you've been involved with -- told the police you'd kissed her butt cheek, they'd tell her to go away. Seriously.
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#13

Postby DavidJones56 » Sun Nov 03, 2019 11:17 pm

How do you know this though ? And what about if it’s brother and brother ?
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#14

Postby DavidJones56 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 8:58 am

And if also like to thank you for your help so far candid on answering my questions on the subject
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