Back again...

Postby Stevenpearce » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:36 pm

Evening all - back here again after not reading / commenting or even looking at this site. Decided once again that weed has got the better of me and need to have a proper break from it once again. I’ve had numerous ‘lays off’ since my first proper quit back in 2014 (fxxk why did I start again?) and every time fell for the same trick... it literally is all or nothing with me. I still manage to hold down job etc and in a way pleased I’ve only fallen for the weed and not alcohol or coke or something more sinister or hard. That’s not to say weed should be treated lightly as we all know and are more than aware of its dangers. Anyway I’m on day one, getting proper moody but keeping positive that these first few days are the worst before all the benefits start happening !!
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#1

Postby Stevenpearce » Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:41 am

So first night done. Lesson learnt from previous quits is that I put a spare pair of pyjamas out so when I woke up SOAKING with sweat I simply changed and got half decent rest. God knows why this happens!!

Sort of been reflecting on the last probably 5 months of constant smoking and realised ive wasted so much time, not been engaged at home and my constant focus is getting high. Shameful really that I am sitting there completely stoned whilst my family continue their lives around me not aware I am in my own little world. Now they got to put up with my mood swings as I battle this on my own. I’m remaining positive, I have to as constant weed is only negative....
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#2

Postby Stevenpearce » Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:15 pm

Agghhhh having good day but can’t stop thinking about getting some weed. My head playing all the same tricks as it usually does in this situation. Hate this!!

Will submerge myself into Netflix later, warm bath and WILL NOT MAKE THAT CALL.
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#3

Postby Stevenpearce » Tue Mar 19, 2019 10:51 am

Didn’t make the call!

Think this is hard as nicotine withdrawal also happening!

Last night I went to local gym and had a steam and sauna... it was so nice and weirdly enough I didn’t have any hot sweats at all last night. Usually when going through cold turkey I get night sweats for a good few weeks. Unfortunately I can’t get to the health club every night so will see what happens tonight. There is one advantage of constant relapsing in that the quits aren’t so traumatic
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#4

Postby Salsa » Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:32 pm

Hi my dear friend!

Isn't just ridiculous how we felt again into this trap?

My dealer makes fun of me. He calls me a looser, even though I gave him so much money over the years. He is supposed to be my friend, but he's so arrogant, ungrateful and rude to me. I'd end this sh** just because of him. The police is breathing behind his neck and he still thinks he's on the top of the world. I hate him and his grass so much you can't imagine. I will quit this sh*t to make myself and him a favour. I smoke about 0.5 g at night, which isn't much but still enough to consider myself an addict. With 25mg seroquel it knocks me out instantly. But do I REALLY need it?

I don't think so. Neither do you.

We got legal cannabis in my country. It contains 2% of THC and about 10% of CBD. One can buy it easily everywhere. Maybe I'll try it, maybe not.
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#5

Postby Stevenpearce » Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:41 pm

Feel weird today, combination of anxiety and work stress. Feel cold and shivering but don’t feel like it’s a traditional cold or flu.

Also not had night sweats again! Pleased about this but wonder if it’s because I only been smoking constant for past 5 months?? Maybe I’m not in the clear and will now be sweating loads for the next few nights!!!
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#6

Postby Stevenpearce » Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:43 am

Morning all - things going OK for me, went pub last night and did have a cigarette which I shouldn’t have but not going to lose sleep over it. Been more stressed and anxious this week at work but know that’s really down to not smoking and not sleeping great.

Sleep hasn’t been too disturbed due to night sweats... previous quits have been hard with that. Today is first day of doing nothing and the thought did cross my mind and it annoys me that my Brain chucks that thought out as it’s not what I really want to do. If I do then it will be straight back to all day smoking, not being engaged and generally unenthusiastic about anything other than doing the bare minimum and smoking as much as I can.
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#7

Postby Stevenpearce » Sat Mar 30, 2019 8:46 am

So....

Last two nights I have had a spliff each evening, I can’t stop myself and the high tbh wasn’t great, the sleep also wasn’t great and I’m sat here now feeling distant and confused. My mother in law gave me it and I keep telling her to not tell me she has any and under no circumstances to offer me it but she either forgets or doesn’t listen. It’s my own fault I shouldn’t talk to her about it or go round. I already know (as I know how much she has) that I will go round later tonight. Just can’t resist temptation.
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#8

Postby Candid » Sat Mar 30, 2019 8:53 am

Stevenpearce wrote:My mother in law gave me it and I keep telling her to not tell me she has any and under no circumstances to offer me it but she either forgets or doesn’t listen.


Addicts love company. They don't want to see anyone get away while they believe they can't do it themselves.
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#9

Postby tokeless » Sat Mar 30, 2019 3:33 pm

Candid wrote:
Stevenpearce wrote:My mother in law gave me it and I keep telling her to not tell me she has any and under no circumstances to offer me it but she either forgets or doesn’t listen.


Addicts love company. They don't want to see anyone get away while they believe they can't do it themselves.



Crabs in a barrel. Just as one nears the top the others pull it down. You need to accept you make the choice to smoke but you tell yourself you can't help it.. Of course you can. What other things can't you help doing?
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#10

Postby Stevenpearce » Mon Apr 01, 2019 8:04 pm

Crabs in a barrel. Just as one nears the top the others pull it down. You need to accept you make the choice to smoke but you tell yourself you can't help it.. Of course you can. What other things can't you help doing?[/quote]

Yeh can’t deny what you are saying - our yourself into a situation and expect a different result.

Thanks tokeless - fully taken on board. Haven’t smoked since Saturday now and feel better for it.
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#11

Postby tokeless » Mon Apr 01, 2019 9:52 pm

I'm pleased you've taken it as intended. We can blag everyone but ourselves. Good choices not luck creates good outcomes.
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#12

Postby Stevenpearce » Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:24 am

Amazes me the power of our dreams! Last night I had a using dream (weirdly with an old ex door neighbour who I have not seen in over 20 years!) and the advice of tokeless came into my thought and I turned it down!!

My sleep is challenging as I feel like I’m in a really deep sleep but feel very tired when I do wake up, sweats were not so bad tho, anyone else have similar sleep patterns??
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#13

Postby tokeless » Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:35 pm

Stevenpearce wrote:Amazes me the power of our dreams! Last night I had a using dream (weirdly with an old ex door neighbour who I have not seen in over 20 years!) and the advice of tokeless came into my thought and I turned it down!!

My sleep is challenging as I feel like I’m in a really deep sleep but feel very tired when I do wake up, sweats were not so bad tho, anyone else have similar sleep patterns??


I've dreamt plenty of time of looking for coffee shops in the Dam that I know well. I just can't find them even though I know the areas... In some i find one and get weed but wake up or the dream ends without me actually smoking... I see that as a sign I'm done, which I am and have been for years now. Stick at it.
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#14

Postby Ade,wales » Fri Apr 05, 2019 8:16 pm

I’ve had many dream where I’m skinning up but don’t actually get to smoke , and wake up thinking thank **** for that. But now 4 years down the line it has stopped. It’s just the evil bitch trying to back in. It’ll go.
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