1.5 years clean update

[Robb1e_g]

Hey guys just back to give some hope to others who are still struggling with PAWS from weed.

I have some crazy news, because I will say I’ve been basically healed from PAWS for around a month, and over the course of the year and a half recovery I definitely had a fear of weed after the nightmare I went through of PAWS. But I wanted to be sure that it was the weed that was really causing this much awful mental pain this whole time. So I smoked again last night and the night before. The first night I didn’t get high for some reason so I tried it the next night, and I found that I was about to get a panic attack during it, just like I did 1.5 years ago. But with some good friends and a lot of mental strength, I was able to stay calm through it and came out the other side on top. I now do not have a fear of weed, however, I don’t care to smoke it. It gives me awful anxiety and terrible thoughts and it disorients everything and gives me existential anxiety. But I am happy I overcame my fear of it and realized through all of this that the biggest thing about PAWS is your mental strength. Your mindset has so much to do with it, you need to change your life around for the better and start thinking more productively and positively and you need to ground yourself in good beliefs. I truly think your mind is something you can control no matter how hard it is, so take control of your thoughts and you can control your life. Best of luck guys.

[dhae2604]

You relapsed brother... Does your problems gone after smoking it again?

[Robb1e_g]

Yes, but I willingly did it for answers for others suffering on here. And I am actually completely fine, during the night of smoking i almost had a panic attack like the time I did one and a half years ago but after controlling my thoughts I calmed down and today I am fine no withdrawals or symptoms. Also I do not have any cravings for it and I do not plan to smoke again, nor do i want to smoke again. I like myself better without weed polluting my brain. So it is possible to overcome this honestly

[dhae2604]

Do u still struggle before the relapse? How much do u smoke that cause almost panic

[Robb1e_g]

Very rarely did I ever struggle, no more then normal struggles others would face, I was completely healed, and I still am, the weed didn’t affect me when I smoked it again because I knew it was all in my head. And I had like 6 or 7 big hits off of a bowl so that’s why I almost panicked because it was a lot for my first time in a year and a half. I still don’t recommend smoking at all I’m not going to

[BullFrog]

Hey Robb!

Glad to hear you are doing well! I admit, that was VERY risky of you to retake the weed for the sake of an experiment. I experienced my garbage mostly after a week of usage (and the overdose I had 3 months previous). So I personally would never risk taking it again for any reason whatsoever. Having said that, I am just now 15 months from when I last took it. Almost all my symptoms are gone except for the mild and occasional "buzzy/dizzy" sensation I have felt for most of the last 15 months. Again, I am grateful that ALL the other symptoms are gone and confident that given a few more months (or maybe the two year mark) I can walk away done with this.

But I remember your earlier posts and I am SO glad you came back to say you are all better. It gives us all hope!

[Robb1e_g]

For sure man, that’s why I’m back tell everyone it’s gonna be okay. Definitely the scariest experience of my life, and it will always be something I remember and still fear sometimes, but I am stronger and I know about more of who I am now because of it

[BullFrog]

Awesome. And honestly, I have gotten to a point where I am grateful for the experience. It got me out of a serious spiritual stupor and I have grown spiritually (as well as other areas) dramatically because of this whole ordeal. Granted, I would NEVER want to go through something like that again, but since it did in fact happen...I am grateful for the better person I have become!

[ashthewarrior7]

@Robb1e_g, how are you now?

[Robb1e_g]

Hey @ashthewarrior7 I’m completely fine now! I have no issues, once in a great while I’ll have an upsetting sort of anxiety attack but as time goes on it fades more and more. Other than that I’m very happy and more content everyday. It really is a matter of your mindset and working really hard to take back control of your thoughts and emotions while you heal. You can make the experience last longer and make it a lot worse depending how you think. But if you look back at my earlier posts I mean it was really bad, I didn’t think I would make it. But of course I did make it, as will all of you. I’m just making sure I keep getting notifications when I get a message to keep others in the loop and let them know that’s it really is going to be okay and life and god finds a way.

[SparkleFly12]

This is very reassuring to read! Ive been struggling to understand how weed and withdrawal go together; and its starting to make sense.

I stopped smoking for 1 month; still had some symptoms, then smoked for a few days in a row: Symptoms came back full force.
Then I stopped for 3 months; most symptoms gone, then smoked a few days in a row: Symptoms came back full force.

I guess the trick is that you need to let paws complete its course, which is more like 1yr rather than 3mo. I dont have any craving to smoke now, because I know my paws clock will reset if I do, and PAWS is hell. But It is nice to hear that once healed, you can smoke once or twice and not experience paws from it.

[ashthewarrior7]

Sparklefly, I disagree, I think smoking in a row is what causes PAWS. Robb1e_g got PAWS after a major panic attack and got it undone by fighting off another major panic attack but he didn't smoke again. But not everyone stops smoking just coz of panic attacks so there is no trigger to undo PAWS. His brain somehow figured I can function fine without the weed.

Moderation is key to avoid PAWS. Never over do it, too much of anything is toxic.

[Robb1e_g]

I think @ashthewarrior is correct. If you can I would stop smoking completely. I definitely had a huge dependency on weed, but I also think my paws was even worse due to trying lsd the day I quit and having an awful trip. It really did a number on my anxiety and thought processes, but also if that wouldn’t have happened I don’t know if I would have even had a panic attack nor would I have wanted to stop smoking. Idk what happened but after that day I never had a hard time not smoking. But absence is key to healing, being able to realize you can be happy and content without a drug is a liberating and empowering feeling. Honestly, I didn’t even like who I was when I smoked. I felt as if I was escaping life, and I was a zombie. It made my memory awful and I’m still working on some parts of my memory and my ability to articulate words when I talk. But of course I would not trade this awful experience for anything as I honestly would not be as happy and grateful as I am now. I believe we all are going through this similar experience for a reason while others don’t because we each have ver valuable

[Robb1e_g]

Valuable things to gain from this experience

[SparkleFly12]

Never plan to smoke weed multiple days in a row, or even in a week. Thats how PAWS happens and Im never going to go through it again.