desperate788 wrote:I suspect my perception of nature and universe that occurred lately is fake.
My friend, you suspect a lot of things.
I say if it feels good to you, follow it. If it feels bad, walk away.
The universe
IS amazing, chiefly because people like you and me have no idea how it started, what it's all about, where it's headed, or what the implications are for us.
A sense of wonder is a great thing. You are infinitely more than you believe you are.