Should I tell my new school im transgender?

Postby John_smith » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:58 pm

Ummmm so I haven’t used this sight in about two years I think, maybe less but I’m not sure. The reason i’m back is because I have no idea where is an appropriate place to ask this question. So the basics of my situation, I am a trans man, so I was born in a female body but with a male mind and I live in an area that on the surface is open minded but when you look closer you’ll see it is not open minded at all and being transgender or gay Is not just frowned upon but even dangerous in some places to be. I am going to college next year and wanted to know, I suppose on a morality level, Should I tell the people who I go to school with that i was born in a female body or simple pass as a man born in a male body? I really don’t know what the norm is and beyond that I don’t know what is excepted. I don’t want to go to college and be seen and that one transgender person but I also don’t want to feel as though I am doing something wrong. So can anyone help?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:04 pm

Answer the question by asking what special accommodations should others expect to make for you?

Go through an if/then list of hypotheticals. For example:

IF I need to go to a public restroom, THEN? Then what exactly? Most places have a reasonable number of gender neutral facilities.

IF a person asks you on a date THEN you thank them for their interest and tell them you are or are not interested based on your preferences. You just say yes/no. It doesn’t require you reveal anything.

As a transgender you need special what, precisely?

My general, first impression, is that there is no reason everyone needs to know what type of mind you believe you have. Am I wrong?

Full disclosure, I have neither a male or a female mind. I was born in a male body with male genitalia, but my brain was never observed, tested, or otherwise identified. My body responds sexually to women, but that doesn’t make my mind any more or less “male”. My mind is uniquely my mind. I have all sorts of thoughts about all sorts of things. I can have some pretty dark thoughts. I have a dark sense of humor. Does everyone need to know this? No. I can’t think of any circumstances where I need special treatment for my mind.

A quick story. When I lived in Las Vegas I went to gay clubs on occasion. Not once did I find it necessary to tell everyone my preference. I didn’t ever find it necessary to let everyone know how my mind works. Instead, guys would offer to buy me a drink and I would decline. There was no need to announce to everyone my special “straight” status so that no one confused me for a gay man.

My best advice. Tell people on a need to know basis. The vast majority of people really don’t give a s*#t about how you wish to label your mind.
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#2

Postby John_smith » Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:53 pm

I believe we have similar views on it, in that I think it’s no one’s business the way I identify. I identify as a man and In society day to day I would almost never disclose that I was transgender unless it was directly mentioned. What I’m asking more is on a morality standpoint would it be wrong to not mention to friends that I am transgender and from there would they care if they found out.

In an ideal world I could go to school identifying fully as a man born as a man, but I do not know if that would worsen reactions when they found out I was not born in a male body. And if it came up would I lie or would I tell them. I simply have no idea what the social eticate is in my situation.

Would it be easier to disclose that information to avoid those that don’t except me or would take it personally that I don’t tell them, but doing so would make me a target for hate crime and discrimination.

And beyond that romantic relationships are another level. Obviously I would tell someone straight away that I was transgender even if I sensed the relationship between us was changing, or at least tell them I am not available. But hypothetically if I tell them they disagree and tell the school then it will seem as though I am trying to hide it and I do not know how people would react at that point.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:39 pm

What is the social etiquette for telling someone your religion? Follow the same rules.

Are there certain accommodations required of your religion? Do you have dietary restrictions, do you need certain days off, are you in need of a special room so you can pray a certain direction?

You know, some people can be killed in certain places for announcing their religion. And religion is a belief system, same as believing you have a certain type of mind.

You’re making too much out of a label that you have placed on yourself. Follow the same social etiquette as a religion. There is no need to announce to your school or random people. There is no need to even tell your friends. If you feel comfortable with a friend and you tell them about your religion and they reject you or hate you because of your religion, that’s up to them.

P.S. the type of mind you have and the label you want to give it, that’s up to you. The mind is merely a construct of language. The mind can be labeled however you wish. Biologically however, your brain is female. The same as you were born able to conceive a child and provide milk, you have a brain that contains more white matter.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2 ... 100142.htm
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#4

Postby John_smith » Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:27 pm

Unfortunately I do have a biologically male mind, there’s evidence of it that’s relative easy to find online, but I am in no way in a state of mind to argue that today. You can believe what you want, although this is clearly not the correct time to share that opinion.

Either way your point is valid, neither lie not tell the entire truth. When it comes up it comes up, so make no attempt to hide it, but at the same time don’t come out to everyone at once. Sadly I can not say for sure at this point how people will react, in the place where i live I can not come out as much as coming out in my religion, because of the dangers it will cause that I’ve seen happen to others.

Generally I wish I didn’t have to come out to anyone and just avoid romantic relationships but I don’t believe where I live is accepting enough yet.
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:45 am

John_smith wrote: Either way your point is valid, neither lie not tell the entire truth. When it comes up it comes up, so make no attempt to hide it, but at the same time don’t come out to everyone at once. Sadly I can not say for sure at this point how people will react, in the place where i live I can not come out as much as coming out in my religion, because of the dangers it will cause that I’ve seen happen to others.


Yep, persecution sucks. I agree. At least you can avoid persecution if you like. Throughout history millions have died for things not so easy to hide. Every day people are persecuted and killed for their beliefs, for their preferences.

The good news is that if a person holds extremely strong beliefs...if it is that important or central to their life, to their meaning, purpose, or happiness, then they can try their best to relocate to a place that embraces their beliefs/preferences.

I don’t know. Maybe you are posting from inside a region of the world where a flight from persecution is not possible. Or maybe your belief/preferences are not a priority currently. Instead, right now your school is more important than any persecution should you openly confess your beliefs/preferences.

I hope you are posting from a region of the world where if your beliefs/preferences are that central to your life, that you can apply for a visa or otherwise relocate to a location that is more receptive to your beliefs/preferences.

John_smith wrote:Unfortunately I do have a biologically male mind, there’s evidence of it that’s relative easy to find online, but I am in no way in a state of mind to argue that today. You can believe what you want, although this is clearly not the correct time to share that opinion.


Yes, we can all believe what we wish. The question becomes, to what extent do our beliefs align with what is true and how does the degree of alignment with the truth impact your life, for good or bad?

I don’t know why it is an argument. I see it more as an interesting discussion. Is there such a thing as a “male” brain, a “female” brain, or how about a “transgender” brain?

I say brain, because while you might believe in the existence of a biological mind, I don’t.
The mind is a metaphysical construct of language. You can’t taste, smell, touch, weigh, or otherwise see the mind. There is a biological brain, not a biological mind.

The study I referred to used brain scans that said people that can ejaculate sperm have more grey matter, while people that can’t ejaculate sperm have more white matter. This is a biological difference between the brains of those that can and those that can’t produce sperm.

I’m going to assume that you did not have a brain scan and a doctor pointed out where you have a brain of a person that ejaculates sperm. If you did have a brain scan, my guess is you would be told you have more white matter, consistent with a brain of a person that can conceive a child.

The above paragraph DOES NOT have ANY bearing on your belief that you have a “male mind”. I’m only pointing out that biologically your brain is most likely consistent with that of a person that can conceive a child. Your belief of what makes a mind male vs. female vs. extraterrestrial, that’s up to you really.

I would be interested in the scientific studies of the brain that show a “transgender” vs. “male” vs. “female”. I would be interested in the biological markers. I do believe they exist, I’m just uniformed as to what they are. Given you believe you have a male mind, I would think the biological aspect of what makes you transgender would be something you would like to share. I know I could definitely benefit from learning some more on the topic.

Again, the discussion has nothing to do with your “male mind” as that is something that does not exist in the biological sense (my belief). In common language I understand the usage of the mind as synonymous with brain, but the link I posted was scientific usage vs. pop culture/pop psychology.
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#6

Postby Candid » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:41 am

John_smith wrote:being transgender or gay Is not just frowned upon but even dangerous in some places to be. I am going to college next year...


Colleges are known to be politically correct these days. From my experience, college -- by definition the province of the more intelligent members of society -- would be the safest place to come out. However, I agree with Richard that there's no reason to make any kind of public announcement. If you look male, 'think' male and use the male restroom, nobody needs to know. Probably nobody wants to know; they have a more pressing agenda, ie. study and good grades.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:Full disclosure, I have neither a male or a female mind. I was born in a male body with male genitalia, but my brain was never observed, tested, or otherwise identified. My body responds sexually to women, but that doesn’t make my mind any more or less “male”.


It's because you've never had reason to question it that you take it for granted. My perception is that you do indeed have a male mind -- or a male way of thinking, if that fits better. You're no-nonsense, real-world solution-oriented. We don't see you reading between the lines. Your presence on the forum is very strongly masculine. I don't think I've ever seen you change your mind.

When I lived in Las Vegas I went to gay clubs on occasion. Not once did I find it necessary to tell everyone my preference.


Haha, nor did I -- but only because a man in a gay bar very quickly ran his hands over my crotch while I stood chatting with my gay brother and his partner. I'm a tall woman and I was wearing hotpants. Also full disclosure: as the second daughter to a mother who wanted one of each, I was raised "as a boy". There are photos of me in T-shirt and trousers, with short hair, beside my curly-locks sister in a dainty dress. I won't recount the many instances of being treated as "the boy" and told outright: "You should have been a boy." Being raised male by "nurture" but not by nature has made me somewhat ambiguous in the way I live my life and respond to others.

John_smith wrote:What I’m asking more is on a morality standpoint would it be wrong to not mention to friends that I am transgender and from there would they care if they found out.


I believe you're talking about potential college friends, ie. people you haven't met yet. Strikes me that as a person who has chosen to be considered male, and has gone through the transition, you would be reluctant to tell anyone who didn't know you before. In your shoes I wouldn't tell anyone unless and until I was in a romantic relationship that looked like going the distance. At that stage a) your partner should be made aware of your status re. potential parenthood; and b) (more importantly) you would have established trust and would have a good idea as to what her reaction might be.

It would be a mistake to make some kind of public announcement to expose people who wouldn't accept you. It's a bit in-ya-face, and I don't see how you would go about it OR what benefit you would be looking for. I would expect it to be greeted with "so what?" and some resentment: "We're here to study. What special treatment are you asking for?" It's the in-ya-face stuff that provokes hate crime and discrimination. Gays do have to test the waters or they don't find partners, but you are not gay. You've gone to some lengths to be seen as a man, so why would you take such a backward step?

in the place where i live I can not come out as much as coming out in my religion, because of the dangers it will cause that I’ve seen happen to others.


I'm sorry to hear this. How does it translate, for you? Are you having to wear high heels and pretend to be female? That would be very sad indeed.

As mentioned before, today's colleges are far more accepting. The person who began a whisper campaign or outright hostility would be the one to be punished, not you. Making good friends at college may well lead, as Richard suggests, to you moving to a more enlightened place than where you presently live. I hope so, and I wish you well.
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#7

Postby John_smith » Sun Sep 08, 2019 1:09 pm

I truly hope the college I go to will have an excepting mindset, but still within that I know there will always be unaccepting people, many of which I’ve seen friends of mine have to deal with and dealt with myself. But if I never come out to everyone and simply pass as a man born a male then
I won’t have to deal with situation like those half as much.

My issue I think is much more is with close friends, should I tell them, and if I do when? I’ve had aggressive reactions to when I first came out to people as a man based of the fact that I didn’t tell all my close friends before my family and from my sister that I didn’t tell them before I told my friends. Since I only know one or two other trans people I don’t know if I was in the wrong there or if those sort of reactions could happen again if New friends I make found out I was born female.

On your question of how excepting is my area. Essentially coming out in my area, brings forth risk of physical danger and most certainly ridicule and bullying. When I first came out the ridiculing almost became the norm, but physical violence though not entirely uncommon still stood out. For example one time I was in the playground with some friends and a group of boys a year above me basically surrounded me and began making jokes about me being a “lesbo” and “dyke” before one of them took a shot straight at my ribs. Luckily these were 16-17 year old boys who had probably never had any formal training so there wasn’t any permanent damage, but a friend of mine who was born male but transitioned to a woman was once beat up so badly she ended up in hospital.

I am still making attempts to earn the money I need to move but unfortunately my family is relatively poor and I have a lot of siblings so that is difficult, also a trend I’ve noticed is a lot of colleges located in more liberal places also seem to be more expensive, which is extremely difficult. Still thankyou so much for all your help.
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#8

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:46 pm

Candid wrote:
Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:Full disclosure, I have neither a male or a female mind.


My perception is that you do indeed have a male mind...You're no-nonsense, real-world solution-oriented...Your presence on the forum is very strongly masculine. I don't think I've ever seen you change your mind.


That's all well in good. Using stereotypes in general conversation is functional. We are creatures that naturally like to reduce complexity into binary categories. It works.

But, when it becomes an issue that is central to a perceived problem I think it can quickly become dysfunctional.

There exists such a thing as a "tom boy" in general, stereotypical conversation. You see a girl dressed a certain way and exhibiting behaviors consistent with the "tom boy" stereotype and it is a functional classification.

Then the person says they have a "tom boy" mind as if it is some sort of actual, biological reality and it is less than functional. In fact, it can be downright dysfunctional.

I'm sure there is some research, but I wonder what are the biological or genetic markers that can be tied to a certain type of brain, e.g. male, female, transgender, etc.?

IMO it is not a simple answer. My current thought process is that there is a genetic underpinning, but that environment also influences how those genes become active. It is an epigenetic theory.

John struggles, in a very normal way, to determine the course of action to take with proper social etiquette. John struggles, in a very normal way, to come to conclusions about how to navigate the community. These are clear indicators of the current stage of critical thinking skills John can access. Yet John is confident that she has a "male mind"? This same person that is confused about social etiquette so they ask strangers for solutions is 100% certain of the type of mind they have? No.

All very normal, it is a common struggle that most everyone experiences. We hit puberty much younger than we develop the full range of critical thinking skills. It is very normal to "feel" our way through or sexual preferences or proclivities if you will. Experimentation takes place. You and I see it in this forum repeatedly, the guilt associated with normal acts of adolescence.

Even after you and I have provided solid guidelines, John is still struggling with when she should tell her friends that she is transgender.

I do think John is on a good path. Seeking advice is healthy and will certainly allow John to learn how to better navigate relationships. I only believe that as John gains in critical thinking skills, that this will lead to a deeper understanding of why she is transgender.

@John, two things:

-1- My message to Candid is not intended to act as if you are not part of the discussion. I'm simply addressing Candid's comment and putting out my honest thoughts. Feel free to participate or ignore my opinions.

-2- If you prefer a certain pronoun tell me. I have no problem making a polite effort. My only reason for how my response is phrased is because when discussing sexual preferences it is easier to communicate effectively by writing "she believes she has a male mind", than to say "he believes he has a male mind."
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#9

Postby Candid » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:08 am

John_smith wrote:if I never come out to everyone and simply pass as a man born a male then I won’t have to deal with situation like those half as much.


And that's precisely what I suggest you do, NOT in order to avoid harassment but because you want to be seen as a man, you had the surgery, you've probably changed your name from the one on your birth certificate... so why on earth would you want to tell all and sundry you're transgender?

My issue I think is much more is with close friends, should I tell them, and if I do when?


The "aggressive reactions" you've had were all from people who'd known you as female for a long time; in the case of parents and extended family, since you were born. I'm sure it must have been very hard for them to get their heads around, but of course they had to be told. There was no other way.

Ideally, those who were close friends with you as girl and woman would continue to love you as a trusted male friend. I have one such friend, not transgender but born with a woman's mind into a male body. I'd known him for several years before he told me, by which time his second marriage had failed. It would have been inconceivable to reject the man with whom I'd had such intimate conversations, and who actually enjoyed our visits to clothes shops, where he knew better than I did which styles and colours would suit me and which would make me a fashion victim.

New friends, at college or elsewhere, simply don't need to know unless and until you feel comfortable about telling them and truly want to do so.

Your previous post suggests you don't expect to have romantic/sexual relationships. If a woman shows that special interest in you, there's no point telling her you're transgender if you have no desire to get physical with her.

I don’t know ... if those sort of reactions could happen again if New friends I make found out I was born female.


Of course they could! A bully is a bully, no matter who you are. You surely haven't got to college age without anyone taking a dislike to you. It's happened to me from time to time all through school, employment, and even from one guy at university. I don't know why and I don't care. (I did, very much, in my 20s. In those dark days passing strangers would insult me on the streets.) People who like me, and show it, far outnumber those who make it clear they don't. Be a man and toughen up! Don't court abusive people and try to change their minds, just fill your life with people who love you and show it.

Essentially coming out in my area, brings forth risk of physical danger and most certainly ridicule and bullying.


Ridicule and verbal bullying you're going to have to take in your stride. The kind of people who go in for this are readily identifiable and clearly not the type you'll want to confide in.

I've been beaten up more times than I can count, all but one incident by my first husband. Naturally this was accompanied by verbal and sexual abuse. After five months of it I temporarily lived with people he didn't know, having left everything I owned, and his first response was to go to the bank where I'd been foolish enough to put every penny I had into a joint account. I continued working until I'd saved my fare to another state, then I went. No job to go to, not much money, but the exhilaration of flight carried me through until I was well and truly on my feet again.

The incidents of violence you recount happened in school, right? And having a male mind, did you think to retaliate as soon as the jokes started, or did you cower until one of the boys took a swing at you? Because it never occurred to me to hit either the man who raped me or my thug of a husband. That's the response of a woman, or an under-confident man, neither of whom can expect to take on the kind of male who gets through life hitting people.

I don't ask these questions to hurt your feelings, but to make the point that you are now a man and it's important to be consistent in the way you respond to your world. You are indeed more vulnerable to physical and sexual attack than someone like our Richard, and if you start college feeling scared somene's probably going to have a pop sooner or later.

What I mean by consistent is that you have it firmly in your head that you're male. It doesn't sound as though you have that, and I'm wondering why. If you look like a man, think like a man, dress like a man and speak like a man, be a man and don't confuse any friends you make at college by telling them you were born in a woman's body. It comes across as apology, a request for acceptance, and it's none of their business.

a lot of colleges located in more liberal places also seem to be more expensive, which is extremely difficult.


Have you not chosen one yet? That ought to be your chief question, not whether and how to tell people you haven't met yet that you aren't what you appear. Can't help you with the former, but my thoughts about the latter are DON'T.
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#10

Postby Candid » Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:04 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:That's all well in good. Using stereotypes in general conversation is functional.


You're no stereotype, Richard! But you do think in a way that's associated with male thinking. Example:

I wonder what are the biological or genetic markers that can be tied to a certain type of brain, e.g. male, female, transgender, etc.?


This comes from the psychology you studied, the kind that fitted you to be an Action Man policeman, a rescuer of people from burning buildings, and I think there was some military duty in the mix as well?

The psychology I imbibed was geared to counselling/therapy. If people were deeply disturbed by something, my job was to know why and do what I could to alleviate it. The why was easy, because the client told me, and my first rule was to believe what the client said. There was no question of looking for biological or genetic markers. As far as I know I didn't have any transgender clients (plenty of gays, which is not at all the same thing) but if I had, I would have advised them exactly as I've advised our OP. Genes were irrelevant, environment was clear in the first session, and the client's need to tell someone was paramount. I've assumed on this thread that becoming transgender involves both pre- and post-surgical counselling, both of which ought to point the way to a support network.

Bottom line, you were being a 'typical' man when you made your career choices, and I was being a 'typical' woman.

Yet John is confident that she has a "male mind"?


I pulled up short at this first reference to John as 'she'. It shocked and surprised me. However, I agree with this:
This same person that is confused about social etiquette so they ask strangers for solutions is 100% certain of the type of mind they have? No.


Also the fear of physical attack, which I've addressed in my post. If I'm going to stereotype men and women, I'll take a guess and say this fear isn't experienced by the majority of men when they're alone on the street late at night. Conversely, all women have known from childhood that in certain situations men are to be feared, and this is undoubtedly the way John was raised. You've probably seen short films making (or questioning) the nature or nurture point. In the one we were shown at university, babies dressed in blue were bounced on people's knees, these same people who remarked what a big boy he was and how strong a grip he had on a proffered finger. The babies in pink were held more gently, cuddled to the chest/breast, and the most common remark was how pretty/sweet/beautiful she was -- all this despite the fact that the researchers hadn't dressed the babies according to tradition, and the research subjects didn't know their gender.

John is still struggling with when she should tell her friends that she is transgender.


Hence my repeated injunction to be a man. Looking again at his first post, I see there was no mention of surgery. This makes me feel as bewildered and somehow caught out as prospective new friends would be if John insisted on declaring himself.

My only reason for how my response is phrased is because when discussing sexual preferences...


I don't think sexual preference in the ordinary use of the phrase is the issue here. It's not clear whether John prefers to have sex with men or with women. He seems to have taken offence at being called a lesbian, and has said he doesn't intend to have a sexual relationship at college.

What's at issue is the 'male mind', which both of us have now questioned. What kind of mind we're born with can't be called a preference, any more than our skin colour.
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#11

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:14 pm

Candid wrote:What's at issue is the 'male mind', which both of us have now questioned. What kind of mind we're born with can't be called a preference, any more than our skin colour.


Yes. This is the discussion I find so very interesting.

I believe the kind of brain we're born with is not a preference. But, the mind?

Are you born with an Asian mind, a Muslim mind, a rich mind, an evil mind? Are you born with the mind of a police officer, a solider, a therapist? No. We are not born with a mind. Minds are extremely diverse and flexible, hence the "mindset". Our minds are uniquely or own.

We are born with a brain, an organ that is much less flexible than the mind. A person could be born with a brain that has a tendency towards more aggression. Right? This doesn't mean the person will be a serial killer, but rather that the type or configuration of the brain is such that aggression is more easily triggered.

This doesn't mean the brain is static. The brain can and does change. In comparison to other organs it changes more than any other. The brain is remarkable in flexibility up to a point. A young child with brain damage to the prefrontal cortex (PFC) can still develop critical thinking skills as the brain still has immense plasticity when very young. As we get older if the PFC is damaged you will be incapable of making a decision.

Still, compared to the mind, the brain is a slow moving static organ. The mind is vastly more flexible than the brain.

In my opinion, we don't fully understand what makes one brain different than any other. We are just now beginning to be able to correlate being born with genitals A means you have brain A. This doesn't mean that inside a given brain that there might also be some biological difference between sexual preference and a biological difference in the brain, but it has yet to be found. This doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

My 'male mind' and your 'female mind' are functional stereotypes. It helps us understand each other and allows us to better predict how to interact with one another. It doesn't mean that either of us literally have a particular sort of mind, because it is merely a functional description.

Candid wrote:What's at issue is the 'male mind', which both of us have now questioned. What kind of mind we're born with can't be called a preference, any more than our skin colour.


I re-quote, because it is what is at issue here. John says she was born with a 'male mind'. No. This is merely speculation, a belief. There is no such thing. No one is born with a particular type or kind of mind. There is no evidence to suggest otherwise.
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#12

Postby Candid » Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:47 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:We are just now beginning to be able to correlate being born with genitals A means you have brain A.


And yet there are the Guevedoces of the Dominican Republic, girls who turn into boys at puberty, as documented by Julianne Imperato in the Seventies. Which brain would one of them be born with? Or does the brain change when the genitals change?

This doesn't mean that inside a given brain that there might also be some biological difference between sexual preference and a biological difference in the brain, but it has yet to be found. This doesn't mean it doesn't exist.


Just to clarify, does "sexual preference" in this sentence mean how a person self-identifies as either male or female regardless of genitalia? or which gender a person wants to have sex with, same or other? Probably doesn't matter. Is there a biological difference between the brains of straights and gays? or Is there an innate difference in the way male and female minds work? My hunch is yes to both questions.

My 'male mind' and your 'female mind' are functional stereotypes. It helps us understand each other and allows us to better predict how to interact with one another. It doesn't mean that either of us literally have a particular sort of mind, because it is merely a functional description.


My female mind is having trouble seeing the difference. If knowledge of each other's gender helps to predict anything at all, there surely must be a real and measurable difference between male and female thinking. And a predictable way of thinking based on gender suggests, to me, that there's a difference between male and female minds.

John says she was born with a 'male mind'. No. This is merely speculation, a belief.


This isn't the first time you and I have been diametrically opposed on the same issue: people's own knowledge that "I'm a boy (or girl) and I want to be seen and treated as one". From your posts on that previous thread viewtopic.php?t=106636, I believe you see it as a decision, a choice, even a whim, whereas I see it as a painful situation which once people were stuck with, but which can now be remedied.

There's no advantage whatsoever to being gay in a straight world, nor is there anything fun, trendy or kinkily orgasmic about gender reassignment surgery. These aren't choices, Richard. They're the reality for about 10 per cent of the population, and I consider myself lucky I'm not one of them.
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#13

Postby mute » Tue Sep 10, 2019 4:57 am

it takes more strength to accept the body you were given than it is to give into the disorder of your mind which thinks it is different.
your mind and body are one single unit and it will never give you peace no matter how much you try to force society to accept it because deep down you will never accept it yourself because you know its is not natural.
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#14

Postby mute » Tue Sep 10, 2019 5:22 am

from my personal experience I belive its not a physical issue
its an energy imbalance issue where one's feminine or masculine energy is developed more than other and is more dominant but does not match the body you were in. and until you find the energy balance you will not be aligned with how your feel and what your body is.not saying drugs are good (definitely not everyone should take them lol)
but with the right kind of mind they are essentially tools

which helped me align my energy with my body and accept myself the way I was.
it was a catalyst that opened the doors to many other interesting realizations.

aligning my energy and accepting myself was like being born again. It also turned off my self destruct mode

ps: this type of stuff is a very personal experience and extremely hard to explain especially in short paragraph
so it probably wont make sense unless you actually go through it
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