what to do with the next 30 years?

Postby frozen » Thu Oct 10, 2019 2:17 pm

I feel lost. I've never had a career goal. For the past 12 years, I was working for the same company. About 1 month ago I quit.
It's a small company, no opportunities, my boss quit earlier this year giving a 2 weeks notice and not having a non-disclosure agreement, he is now working for the competitor, and the CEO is taking it out on the people remaining. I barely had any work left to do, leaving me bored half of the day and then we were told we won't be getting a bonus for this year, it was the last straw, as my base pay is not great, about 30% came from the one-time bonus.

I've talked to my husband, he was ok with it, saying I don't need to work if I don't want to. Now it seems he was not honest about that and it is bothering him. We've been married and living together for 2 years now. During that time I've paid most household expenses, mortgage, water, gas, groceries and he has paid for electricity, and the "fun stuff", the non-necessary things, internet, TV subscription, gym membership, dining out ect. In the past, he was complaining he would rather switch and pay for the necessities, as they are predictable. The mortgage is in my name only as he had to renovate his old house before he could sell it, he had some debt from his previous marriage, the interest rate was better without him being on it and I've made the downpayment. His situation is much better now, he had sold his house with a nice profit, he has a new better-paying job and some of his debt is paid off. On paper, he can easily afford to pay everything on his own, but me being unemployed for 10 days is already stressing him out, which I don't understand. We have separate bank accounts, I paid for fuel, bought the groceries for the past and next week and still pay the gas bill. I do have some savings. My car is paid off. I don't have debt and by now I have paid off my half of the house. We did cancel the gym and TV subscription and only dine out on special occasions.

I do want to work. I don't want to be home bored all day. I've started writing a book, I got a puppy and thinking about breeding her when she is older. I don't know what else I can do. I don't want to go back to working the same type of job for the next 30 years.
How can I figure out what I want to do? Because I never knew and I'm in my mid-30s now, I studied something that was interesting to me, but not useful (actually wanted to be a writer). Don't necessarily want to go back to school and accumulate debt.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:14 pm

frozen wrote:How can I figure out what I want to do?

I’m assuming you mean what to do that returns some income, e.g. breeding dogs or becoming an author.

My best advice, stop trying to forecast 30 years. Instead, focus on what you want to accomplish within the next three years. Then, reduce that into things you can accomplish over the next 3 months.

Want to publish a book? Start small. Publish a short story. Start a blog. Want to build an audience, start an email list, join communities where you contribute and grow readership. In three months, track the growth in subscribers interested in what you have to offer. Update and adjust your three year plan.

Financial problems might seem difficult at first, but the formula is incredibly simple. There are only two levers. Money in. Money out. You either cut expenses or make more cash. Emotionally it might suck, but this doesn’t change the two levers you have available to make a difference.

If you reach a personal threshold of financial discomfort, i.e. a point where you choose not to cut any more, then job satisfaction ceases to be relevant, When a person is truly hungry, they are not focused on 30 years and job satisfaction is no longer important.

The above means that you, at least for now, are in the enviable, luxurious position of indecision. You have the luxury of choice. You have time to relax. You have the freedom to give something new a try. Enjoy it. Take a shot at something. Build something new.
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Postby GalmOne » Sat Nov 30, 2019 1:23 pm

Richard's advice is solid. If you want to plan for the future, you don't have to take on ALL of the future at once! You may try and start writing your book and/or breeding dogs, see if it's both useful and pleasant for the next year, 3 year, 5 years and then see if you want to change that pace or kep going this way.
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Postby MarcosUve » Sat Nov 30, 2019 6:10 pm

We all die!
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Postby thefool » Wed Aug 19, 2020 1:58 pm

Write the book and publish it.

Talk to the husband about it, make sure he understands that you want to try this out as a career, also leave some room for possible future books.

DO NOT go back to school UNLESS you have a very clear goal in mind. Modern education is mostly garbage, I suggest you take whatever courses you need on you own terms and go from there.

Also, personal bias here... don't breed the puppy, it's bad for them if you do it more than once, if at all. And let's face it, is whatever money you'll get out of breeding her just once really going to be worth it? Hint: it wont be.
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