Question

**Posts:** 97 · by **Robb1e_g** » Mon Oct 21, 2019 2:05 am

Hey what’s up guys? I’m sorry I’ve been away for a long time, I have been PAWS free for about two years I believe? I have been loving life and I’m so happy that what other have said it true, PAWS does go away, and I healed. I haven’t had any symptoms for I don’t even know how long. Probably months and months, but tonight I was talking about deep things about life with my girlfriend and I started talking about my PAWS experience and I got emotional over it and after talking about the depersonalization I felt it gave me anxiety and I felt the feelings I felt in the very beginning of PAWS and it scared the hell out of me. I felt very isolated and I felt like I wasn’t real for a second and that everything felt sort of meaningless. It was very scary. I’m calming down from it but just slightly shocked. I guess I’m just sensitive from talking about it and it saddens me greatly that I felt this way in front of my girlfriend for the first time. I felt doomed like there was no escape. I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts about this? I will say having the deep conversation about life followed by my paws experience around the time of year it happened could have been a trigger, but I just hope I don’t feel that again or that it doesn’t come back again regularly. Thanks guys

**Posts:** 8444 · by **Candid** » Mon Oct 21, 2019 7:04 am

I guess thinking and talking about it brought on a flashback. Shows the power of our minds, doesn't it?

When I was a user (a very long time ago) there was a phenomenon known as a contact high, ie. just being with someone who'd smoked would put you there. That being the case, I think reminiscing about PAWS symptoms the way you did would have the same effect.

In the same vein, I know when I talk in depth to someone about past trauma I feel awful afterwards, whereas recalling highlights and good feelings has the opposite effect. Moaners find more to moan about, happier people draw more good to themselves.

Handy to know, isn't it?

**Posts:** 47 · by **biohack9** » Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:17 pm

Robb1e_g wrote: everything felt sort of meaningless.

Wait, this isn't normal? I thought it was just a part of life.

**Posts:** 97 · by **Robb1e_g** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 9:56 pm

Thank you for the reply Candid! I suppose you’re right, I’ve felt a lot better since then just pretty normal with only some thoughts every now and again about it and some anxiety but I should be fine! And haha biohack 9, nah life should be good and have meaning and purpose! The truth is it does even though it may not feel like it

**Posts:** 2042 · by **tokeless** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 10:05 pm

Robb1e_g wrote:Thank you for the reply Candid! I suppose you’re right, I’ve felt a lot better since then just pretty normal with only some thoughts every now and again about it and some anxiety but I should be fine! And haha biohack 9, nah life should be good and have meaning and purpose! The truth is it does even though it may not feel like it

Is the glass half full or empty? It's about perception and mind set.

**Posts:** 47 · by **biohack9** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 11:59 pm

Robb1e_g wrote:Thank you for the reply Candid! I suppose you’re right, I’ve felt a lot better since then just pretty normal with only some thoughts every now and again about it and some anxiety but I should be fine! And haha biohack 9, nah life should be good and have meaning and purpose! The truth is it does even though it may not feel like it

Haha, I was only kidding... I agree that happy, healthy, and strong is our default state! Nice to hear you're feeling better!

**Posts:** 165 · by **Cthompson21** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:53 am

Sounds like you've come a long way since the beginning. Did the feeling go away eventually? I remember reading once that recovery is like watching children grow. You dont realize your own kids are growing because you're with them all the time. Other people's children you see seem to change dramatically when you dont see them as often. In the same way I see and you've changed and grown a lot since the beginning. You may see little flashbacks here and there but it's been forever since we've seen an update so that means to me your doing great! Keep up the great work. Thanks for the update. I am still struggling but doing better coping, its inspiring for me to see how far you've come.

**Posts:** 8444 · by **Candid** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:40 am

Robb1e_g wrote:I’ve felt a lot better since then

Try I feel good. Stretch your arms above your head, fill your lungs with the precious air that's free to all, grin and say: "I feel good!"

I should be fine!

Try I am fine. Stretch your arms above your head, fill your lungs with the precious air that's free to all, grin and say: "I feel fine!"

life should be good and have meaning and purpose!

Try Life is good. Stretch your arms above your head, fill your lungs with the precious air that's free to all, grin and say: "Life is good!"

biohack9 wrote:I agree that happy, healthy, and strong is our default state!

I'm happy, healthy, strong!

Woohoo! Thanks everyone for the feel-good inspiration today!

**Posts:** 97 · by **Robb1e_g** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:54 pm

Thank you Candid for the great reply, positivity is key! And Cthompson how have you been? I’m sorry I haven’t been back to update because I’ve been so busy with school and I have a girlfriend now so life is good! But yes the feeling does go away. I wouldn’t say life is the same as before, it’s different after that experience, but in a really good way as in I have grown and have a better appreciation and understanding of life and what’s really important. I have grown ever so much from this. By the way I am feeling one hundred percent better after that flashback! I only had anxiety for a day or two after and it’s gone now. I’ve always been naturally an anxious person but lots and lots of people have anxieties about something. But I am my normal self again and have been for probably the past 4 to 5 months, but I’ve grown and changed as well all in a good way. I didn’t realize how much I’ve grown till that flashback though. So you are right CThompson I didn’t actually realize how far I’ve come! The feelings do go away and so do the thoughts, you just have to keep going about your day everyday, and start building new positive thoughts and habits everyday, and settle into you you believe to be good and true. For me I found God about 2 years ago after lots of research on world views and some scientific evidence in astrology, and it has been my biggest help along with my family and girlfriend. I am an amazing version of myself now and I am so proud of myself for getting through PAWS. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy that’s how bad it was, so I can relate and sympathize with others who are going through it right now. I pretty much fully recovered in about one year and maybe 6 or 7 months? Others can take up to three or four years depending on so many factors. It is irrational to think yours will last forever, and I will say a lot of it is mindset. So definitely definitely work on a positive mindset

**Posts:** 165 · by **Cthompson21** » Fri Oct 25, 2019 11:33 pm

Robb1e_g still struggling but thanks for asking. I wish I would get better but I've been learning to accept my state. You are a champion. I am almost at a year and a half in January so we shall see what that brings! Best to you.

**Posts:** 40 · by **Head in loud** » Sun Oct 27, 2019 3:20 pm

Cthompson21...coming January it will be a year and half for me to. I’m still struggling as well.
Anyone has tried Magnesium L-threonate? I heard a good thing about it but not sure if anyone has actual tried for PAW.

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