I don't have an ambition or an idol

Postby Optymistyk » Mon Dec 02, 2019 1:28 pm

I am a 23 yo male. My parents say I have no ambition. They're right, but that's because I don't know what direction I should take. I've never had an idol. And if I had I don't think it's a good rolemodel. But I'll come back to this later.

I think it's important to mention I had a very troubled childhood and adolescence. I was bullied and taken advantage of, and my parents only made things worse. I was an outsider. Not only did I have crippling anxiety, I was actually afraid of strangers. Eventually I developed hatred towards the society as a whole. I was proud of being an outsider, I used to think the modern society is corrupt and evil.

I've largely worked this out by now, I'm actually a very open person who enjoys spending time with others. I don't think society is evil, but I do still believe it's corrupt for many reasons

I have serious career problems, I have no idea what I even should want to be. I've noticed I have no idol. When I think of a great person I usually just think there's something they have that I'd like to have. Money. Women. Power. But I don't think they're something I'd want to become myself. With the exception of Lord Byron perhaps. I think he's had a kickass life. He was trully free and lived life to it's fullest.

I think you can already see why I don't think it's a good rolemodel for a successful career.

As far as fictional characters go I have no idol either. I might like a character and wish them success but I don't want to be like them. With the exception of Tyler Durden from Fight Club. I think that guy is strong and not afraid to get what he wants. And I largely agree with his views on the society.

Yeah so I'm all kinds of messed up. I know I'm gonna have to talk to a psychiatrist about it but the good ones are fully booked right now so I thought I'm gonna share it here for now
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Dec 02, 2019 3:33 pm

Find role models in your actual, real world social circles.

Whether it is at your job, a hobby, a volunteer organization, a school, etc. there are people you come into contact with that can be models for you to follow.
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#2

Postby KenEmpowered » Tue Dec 03, 2019 5:00 am

Optymistyk wrote:I am a 23 yo male. My parents say I have no ambition. They're right, but that's because I don't know what direction I should take. I've never had an idol. And if I had I don't think it's a good rolemodel. But I'll come back to this later.

I think it's important to mention I had a very troubled childhood and adolescence. I was bullied and taken advantage of, and my parents only made things worse. I was an outsider. Not only did I have crippling anxiety, I was actually afraid of strangers. Eventually I developed hatred towards the society as a whole. I was proud of being an outsider, I used to think the modern society is corrupt and evil.

I've largely worked this out by now, I'm actually a very open person who enjoys spending time with others. I don't think society is evil, but I do still believe it's corrupt for many reasons

I have serious career problems, I have no idea what I even should want to be. I've noticed I have no idol. When I think of a great person I usually just think there's something they have that I'd like to have. Money. Women. Power. But I don't think they're something I'd want to become myself. With the exception of Lord Byron perhaps. I think he's had a kickass life. He was trully free and lived life to it's fullest.

I think you can already see why I don't think it's a good rolemodel for a successful career.

As far as fictional characters go I have no idol either. I might like a character and wish them success but I don't want to be like them. With the exception of Tyler Durden from Fight Club. I think that guy is strong and not afraid to get what he wants. And I largely agree with his views on the society.

Yeah so I'm all kinds of messed up. I know I'm gonna have to talk to a psychiatrist about it but the good ones are fully booked right now so I thought I'm gonna share it here for now


Hey buddy. I've been coaching one on one for years and this idea that there's something "wrong" if you don't know what you want to do in life is completely overblown. The vast majority of people are in your shoes- at various ages and points in their life.

The only thing I can suggest is:

1) Go to networking events and ask different people in various careers what their lives are like. Take them out to lunch and get to know them.

2) Start at service: Is there a specific need in this world? What is something you feel like the world needs more of? Good nurses? Good teachers? What is one way you want to serve your community (and also earn a decent wage)? What of those activities can you try?

Life is like an experiment. You have to try and learn about many activities and test what you enjoy - until then, you don't have enough information!

Ken
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