the curse of the witch doll

Postby laureat » Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:38 pm

when i was a kid i have seen movies before with a witch doing the doll magic thing. which i never took it seriously thinking how can something like that be real? but turns out that is not 100% fake either. its just an exaggeration on the movies . because i have my own true story about it ..

I was studying pharmacy and there was strange things going on which i did not understand . i ended up on some kind of frustration, delusions and depression which i could never overcome . i was always anxious around people no matter what i tried. i tried for two decades. i thought i am schizophrenic. it looked like that was what others wanted me to believe. that i was deluded and nothing true was going on. i have asked for help but nobody seem to answer it seemed like i was a hopeless case. and i have tried to learn online but nothing really worked . i have also visited this topic and tried to learn how to improve myself but nothing has ever worked. how can it work if you do not even know what the f is the problem. i have respect for members i think i learned a lot from them. but my "curse" was on a serious level. and i was always helpless. and i did not understand it. and i was being hard on myself .

these last years were all frustration and madness. i am extreme tired. it is the curse of the witch doll. they have used "strange language" to torture me, frustrate me and destroy my social life. i have been lied so bad i dont trust nobody. i dont know who i am anymore. and i dont know what to do . i feel brainwashed . i did not go out for almost two years. i only was twice at a hospital because i was very bad. or maybe they wanted me bad. i did not even cut my hair for two years. i am so fked.

everything i was doing. there was always something wrong happening. or someone telling me that my ideas are not really good. and that i was doing wrong. but i was just doing for the sake of doing something. but i felt something strange was going on. and people were using a strange language to f me up. and spook me away. maybe some kind of behavioral therapy going on. i feel like a fking animal in the circus .

i did not know. that somebody would f you up in a strange language. and torture you to madness . this is not cool at all
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Oct 25, 2020 3:39 pm

Yet you do whatever you wish, yes? You eat your favorite foods, you sleep when you like, you use the Internet as you like, you shower whenever you like, yes?

In other words, you control you. No one is stopping you from ordering a pizza, turning on the television, having a glass of wine, etc.
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#2

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:21 am

im not doing what i would want to do. Richards. i was frustrated and spooked away from everything i wanted. and all i did for last years was yelling as a zombie, crying as a baby, smashing like the hulk and expecting the harsh corrections with strange ways of physical pain.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:29 am

laureat wrote:im not doing what i would want to do. Richards.


So when you want to sleep, who decides when you get to go to sleep?
When you want to eat, who decides what you will eat?
When you want to write in this forum, who gives you permission to participate in this forum?
When you want a shower, who decides when you get to take a shower?

Is it a parent, a spouse, a court-assigned guardian, a nurse?
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#4

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:34 am

no Richards I have nothing on my control. i have been convinced away, frustrated away, spooked away of everything

my parents are taking care of me.

food you asked, my mother is old, i am frustrated and cannot help , i dont feel luxurious enough to think of favorite food . i mostly am happy with whatever food i am given yet. they used the pasta so often to frustrate me with.

i have been so frustrated i can hardly think of a shower unless i smell too much to ignore, they have frustrated me away from my daughter

no i dont control when i sleep. if my father tells me that my daughter is sleeping good that gets me hypnotised and I sleep. if they tell me my daughter did not sleep all night. i stay awake all night .

i am not in control of internet or tv. i have been watching movies mostly sci-fi sometimes horror and action i was watching youtube videos around. than i got concerned with some of the youtube videos i felt like my ghost therapist on youtube was giving me messages. and i kept scrolling the youtube and keep reading, until i regret that i did. became scared, spooked, and my head was moving around like someone pulling me on a leash. and was sent to the hospital but did not stay there i just asked them to stop doing what they doing. because what i think happened is that i was harshly corrected i did not watch any more youtube or tv . i was spooked away.

i loved my keyboard synth. they have frustrated me to smash it.

i think these guys want to manipulate me. they have locked me inside for decades. and they dont dear to speak the truth . that they have frustrated and spooked me inside . and i was always lied .

they fked me up. same like the witch movies with a doll.
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#5

Postby Candid » Mon Oct 26, 2020 10:13 am

Whoa, laureat—who are 'they'? Your parents?

i felt like my ghost therapist on youtube was giving me messages.
was sent to the hospital but did not stay there i just asked them to stop doing what they doing.

To an outsider (me) it reads as though you have paranoid thoughts and your parents have so far been able to keep you out of the asylum.

I wonder whether you are regularly taking any legal or illegal drugs? It's possible an anti-psychotic would make you feel better, and that if/when you were 'stabilised' you would be able to see your daughter again.

Make Life Easier—right?
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 26, 2020 11:42 am

laureat wrote:no Richards I have nothing on my control.


So who typed this message Laureat? Your parents? Or did you control this message?
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#7

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:28 pm

@Candid:
no ... i am not taking any illegal drugs. i smoke cigarettes and I drink caffe . that is the worse i do. and i am not being deluded and i dont feel like i need antipsychotics.
i know how i feel. i feel frustrated and spooked away . thats it. when i feel unsure about being paranoid and panic i always try to make sure whats going on or even ask for a ride to hospital to make sure about it. btw . even if you are unsure what is going on that doesnt mean to be paranoid . and that was a mistake i made. to confuse my doubts with paranoia . i was manipulated to believe i am schizophrenic. when in fact someone has used hypnosis to frustrate and destroy my social life . like the witch's doll tricks. that has happened to me on 28.11.2004. they have disturbed my progress with my goals.

you asked who are they. i dont know who are they. you tell me. why everyone i know has used a strange language to spoke me away?

@ Richards: how was i in control of those youtube messages? i was not. i was manipulated. i was spooked to read something that i wasnt supposed to. its a trap. its inevitable . i know these kind of traps from my studies on 2004. my friends tricked me to write hiphop rhymes . and i ended up on their troll game. their hypnosis. and frustration. i was pushed to. i was tricked to. it was inevitable. i guess they also drugged me. but that was no kids stuff. because you cant by stuff like that on markets
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#8

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 26, 2020 1:33 pm

laureat wrote:@ Richards: how was i in control of those youtube messages? i was not. i was manipulated. i was spooked to read something that i wasnt supposed to. its a trap. its inevitable . i know these kind of traps from my studies on 2004. my friends tricked me to write hiphop rhymes . and i ended up on their troll game. their hypnosis. and frustration. i was pushed to. i was tricked to. it was inevitable. i guess they also drugged me. but that was no kids stuff. because you cant by stuff like that on markets


Not the YouTube messages Laureat.

The forum posts that you are writing. You are the one typing your posts, yes? You are the person responding to Candid and to me, yes? You are in control of the messages you are posting, yes?
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#9

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:46 pm

am I writing these comments? yes. do i feel in control of myself? no. i feel like i can be spooked out of the forum if my ghost therapist decides to. anytime he wants.

i sometimes liked to post quotes on instagram story. and as soon as i made a post. for some reasons tens of other quotes pop up. i felt like my ghost therapist trolling me that is not what i should do. but someone can say that is not enough convincing, ok, how about this other one.

I am writing these comments on the forum yes. but i am not writing everything i would love to write.. i have written comments on this forum before. but for some reasons i stopped writing, guess why? because i felt like people around me were trolling me about it. on a strange ways. like hey you are not a psychologist what you doing there? but they done that on strange ways . like bringing someone and tell me that they have decided to study psychology. so you can say i was convinced away from the forum or spooked away from the forum. because someone decided that it was not a good idea for me to be here. but i loved to be on the forum . and just spooked away
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#10

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:15 pm

laureat wrote:am I writing these comments? yes.

I am writing these comments on the forum yes.


Great! So you do have control.

You are the one writing the comments. Laureat is in control.

It is a good start to know what you control. You can build from here. What else can you control? You have control of what you write, what else?
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#11

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:38 pm

i was reading my fathers about your question. and i got a little spooked for some time. but here i am making another comment
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#12

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:46 pm

laureat wrote:... but here i am making another comment


Yep. You have control.
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#13

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 26, 2020 7:02 pm

controlled.
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#14

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 26, 2020 8:21 pm

laureat wrote:am I writing these comments? yes.

I am writing these comments on the forum yes.


It is great that you have control Laureat.
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