80 days clean of weed

#195

Postby SparkleFly12 » Sun Oct 18, 2020 5:38 pm

20 months in, 16 after my one toke that seems to have set me back a long way. Basically, now I am close to where I was before I took that toke - it cost me 4 months for one toke!!

Im doing better, can sometimes get good sleep now, and the headache is mostly gone! Lymph node swelling is coming down, and feeling slightly more libido now. Just posting here to have a log of my symptoms - I get through most days without thinking about PAWS much; but I do occasionally get a reminder from a mild PAWS headache or excesive lymph node pressure.

Cheers all.
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#196

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:29 pm

I dont understand what is going on. After getting better and better each week for many months, my symptoms randomly got a lot worse last week. I had just reached a point where I had a couple days that were relatively symptom free - slept well, and had normal libido, and no swelling in the lymph nodes.

But then the headache returned and it was horrible; low libido returned, swolen lyph nodes returned, and now I have slept terribly for the past few days. Last night I woke up 8 times that I can remember, and it feels like I didnt sleep at all. I also have anxiety now, which may just come from the lack of sleep.

I thought I was through this, but here I am. This is bs. 20 months in.
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#197

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Nov 02, 2020 1:35 pm

20.5 months

PAWS still comes in waves, lasting 3-4 days; every 7-8 days. Now the symptoms are insomnia/anxiety, low libido, mild vivid dreams, and swollen lymph node. The great thing is that on good days, I get 2-3 days where I am almost completely symptom free!

I dont want to jinx it, but my headache is gone now. Its awesome. Ive lived with it for so long; I cant believe its gone. Even on the bad days.

But the weird thing is that some symptoms got worse. Its like my brain crossed some threshold a couple weeks ago and while I feel a lot better overall, a couple symptoms regressed (on the bad days).

These are insomnia and vivid dreams. For insomnia, I was previously getting 6 hours of sleep almost every night - but would wake up extremely drained every morning; like the sleep was very bad. I felt worse than I would if I actually slept 6 normal hours. Now, on the bad days, I wake up many times through the night and often only get 4-5hrs. But, it feels like I got 4-5 hours. So even though the insomnia is worse, I still feel like the sleep is better. Vivid dreams have also made a small comeback; on bad days Ill have some very exciting dreams that are very similar to those I had in the first few months of PAWS - but they are much milder. They dont bother me much; although they can be disturbing/emotional. But its more just strange that the trajectory of my symptoms changed this late into the game.

Cheers all!
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#198

Postby soldieroflife » Mon Nov 02, 2020 5:52 pm

Looking for some thoughts. Currently on day 15 off weed. I’ve made it a few months before, and went back after submitting to that “only today” smoke. Always results in full bore within weeks. Fri was the first day I’d say I truly lost my sh**. I’d had Covid all week resulting in completely being out of it. Of course was wondering if quitting was causing that as well. Fri was first day feeling better so had a number of beers and some wine. Got into argument with wife over quitting actually as she always minimizes any addiction as weak as she has none. Ended up talking about suicidal thoughts (which I didn’t really know I had) and threatening to do something about it. I don’t think that’s really me, but it scared the hell out of her and I’m so embarrassed and shameful for it. I’ve read so much on here about horrible effects, but always felt pretty lucky till now. She’s pushing for anti-depressants but I don’t want to trade a problem for another. Any similar experiences? Have anti-depressants helped for people or made worse? Thanks
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#199

Postby PAWSsurvivor » Tue Nov 03, 2020 2:41 am

Hey Sparklefly. I'm so glad you are getting some relief!

I'm so glad to hear your headache is disappearing! That's my main symptom so if it can ever leave I will be astonished and oh so grateful. Thank you for the inspiring update.

You are probably just on the edge of feeling better. Soon enough you'll be one of the stories we all look to when we are feeling bad.
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#200

Postby SparkleFly12 » Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:54 pm

Things have gotten better the past couple weeks. I still get a wave of symptoms every few days; but they are very mild and NO more headache. Libido has also increased and overall ED has gotten a lot, lot better. I also can sleep 7-8 hours most nights; and my paws-related insomnia seems to be almost gone (it was very distinct).

Feeling almost 100% now, at 21 months. Ill probably retire from this thread and post a single summary "story" for posterity.

Cheers all
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#201

Postby SparkleFly12 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:58 pm

As usual...I eat my words. Got a wave of paws now; low libido, swolen lymph nodes, poor sleep, and some vivid dreams. Been 3 days now.

Sigh...This will never end. At least I have no headache.
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#202

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Sun Dec 13, 2020 5:37 pm

Go to your doctor, they are trained in solving body chemical issues, such as the issues weed causes.
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#203

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Dec 21, 2020 4:12 pm

Hi all. After feeling good for a week (and my libido even returning) Im back to poor sleep/insomnia and low libido; and some mild headaches. And that swollen lymph node.

Its been almost 2 years and Im starting to think about taking medication to treat these symptoms. This just isnt bearable any more.

Hope you all are doing better than I am.
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#204

Postby SparkleFly12 » Sun Jan 17, 2021 9:45 pm

Checking in again here...

at 1 year and 11 months. The remaining symptoms are low libido/ed, poor sleep, swolen lymph nodes, mild depression. Occasionally Ill have a very bad few days where I have vivid dreams too.

But for the most part, I seem to be cycling between having my remaining symptoms; and being almost completely normal. Feel good for a week...then my symptoms return for a month. Good for a week...bad for a month. Been through this cycle 3 times already, and it doesnt seem to be changing.

Well, I hope it does. Sucks to have to deal with this for so long.
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#205

Postby FAITH » Sun Jan 17, 2021 10:07 pm

Well, I’m at 6 months and 17 days. Sleep and heart palpitations are my biggest issue. I’ll have a couple good days then 2 or 3 bad days. I hope this isn’t a 2 year ordeal. A good week then a bad month would suck for me. Sometimes a racing heart to. Hoping when spring gets here my spirits will pick up. Going through this alone, with the winter blahs, not by best time at all.
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#206

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:35 am

Well, I am at 2 years and even my bad days now re 1000x better than any bad or good days were a year ago. Im like 90% better even on my bad days; compared to where I started...but where I started was pure hell.

So 1 bad month is tolerable for me, its nowhere near what "bad" was 1-2 years ago.
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#207

Postby FAITH » Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:44 am

Well, that’s encouraging to hear, that you’re that much better even on bad days. Maybe I can make it to where you are. Maybe there is hope. I know what you mean about the pure hell part.
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#208

Postby FriendlyFriend » Mon Jan 18, 2021 8:48 pm

FAITH wrote:Hoping when spring gets here my spirits will pick up. Going through this alone, with the winter blahs, not by best time at all.

Know what you are going through, my buddy of fate. 5 months in, live alone, unemployed, in a Northern European country. It's difficult, even hopeless at times. Daily walks are my only refuge from this prison that my apartment has become. Like you, I very much await for the spring. Wish you the best.
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#209

Postby FAITH » Mon Jan 18, 2021 9:24 pm

@FriendlyFriend, can’t tell you how much your reply helps me, knowing I’m not the only one. I am actually retired, wish I hadn’t now. Didn’t realize how it helped me to occupy my time. I couldn’t stand the shift work, working midnight shifts. Now I wish I still was. It’s very hard for me now, seeing husbands and wives with there families...couples riding down the street talking..just having someone. Then coming home to this emptiness; waking up day after day nothing really to do or accomplish. PLUS, going through this hell with PAWS if that’s what it is 6 and a half months in. Terrible night last night, woke up after a few hours at 4 am. Heart been skipping around, feeling down, no appetite, no energy, mind having weird thoughts, wondering if I’m actually going to die. Winter, snowing, cold, cloudy dismal days. No sun out for many days now. COVID, can’t really go anywhere. Having to wear stupid mask everywhere. Sorry man, hope I’m not getting you down. I’m 60 in about a month and a half. Moved around a lot during my childhood, never really made a good close friend, partly because we moved several times, partly because I’ve never been very sociable because I have no confidence or self worth. I am blessed though, got a bed, roof over my head and plenty to eat. I guess it’s all these paws or what ever feelings. The decisions I’ve made early in life, not getting married, not making friends, really have come to effect me now. Just another body here would be nice. I tried to volunteer the other day at a food bank/ help center. They said because of Covid, they don’t need anybody. So, back to this “prison” as you say. I don’t know man it’s hard, very very hard at times. Like you, I do a lot of walking just to get out when I can....hurry up and come spring. And please God heal my palpitations and return my health to me. Sorry man, so very sorry for this gloom and doom. I do rarely have a good day or 2 sometimes. Thanks again.
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