Day 73

Postby Longduckdong » Sat May 01, 2021 3:11 pm

I was a heavy smoker for 15 years. Yesterday I went to Costco with my wife to grab some things. I set myself up a bit by reminding myself that this place was a trigger for anxiety over a month prior.
So we get there and it seems ok but then I started sweating and my legs started feeling weak. We got out as quickly as possible and it seemed to past.
Then the evening came and I started to experience a fast heart rate and thoughts of doom and death. I was able to overcome it and get to bed.

My question is if a single panic attack is a sign of a wave of paws coming as I have been having a pretty good week overall. I was expecting one to come but actually this time was the longest I had gone since quiting without a panic attack.
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#1

Postby Luna824 » Sun May 02, 2021 12:28 am

Congrats on 72 days! I’m going on 73 days. Smoked on and off for 10+ years. Smoked every day almost all day for 2 years straight prior to quitting.

From what I’ve read PAWS comes in waves once you hit the turning point. Sometimes it might last a single minute/panic attack or days. But what I hope and continue to believe is each wave gets better. Like I mentioned above I’m 72 days sober. I had a wave that started on 5/13 and lasted 9 days. My symptoms were on and off headaches, anxiety, panic attacks, low appetite, feeling sad/depressed, fear of going out in public. But all in all very manageable. Nothing compared to when I first quit and my first few waves. I’ve been feeling pretty good since the wave ended, but not 100%. I’m anticipating another wave any minute and continue to mentally prepare myself. Because for me the mental toll of paws is the hardest thing to deal with.

My anxiety store is Trader Joe’s because I almost passed out while grocery shopping once. Anytime I feel anxiety coming I constantly hype myself up. By saying stuff like, “I can handle anything. This is nothing. I’ve been through worst. Hey let’s get a snack.” This has helped me at least manage to finish my grocery list and get out. Hope things get easier and better for you!
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#2

Postby Longduckdong » Sun May 02, 2021 12:43 am

I am super happy to hear your response. This wave has actually been a lot more bearable since you mentioned it. It is still going on but is nothing like klit was 20 days ago. I hate not being able to do simple things that I once could. I could spend two hours in costco looking at everything. Now I want to never go in there. I do see it getting better but I get lost in the bad sometimes. Seeing post like yours makes me happy. So thanks for that. Also my 6 month old daughter is named Luna. Lol
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#3

Postby Luna824 » Sun May 02, 2021 1:08 am

Sorry I meant congrats on 73 days and I’m 72 days sober. Hahaha

Just keep pushing through. I know it’s hard when you’re in it but know it will end and things will be manageable and eventually you’ll get to a point where paws doesn’t even happen to you anymore.

No way! What are the coincidence??! I think this is a sign from your kiddo to keep pushing forward! You got this. Feel free to message me for anything!
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#4

Postby tokes » Sun May 02, 2021 5:52 pm

My worst panic attacks were within the first 3 months of quitting, as time goes by they lessen in severity. For me personally having a panic attack was not a sign that a PAW's wave was on its way - they were two separate entities. I could have all the nasty stuff from PAWs happen one day and a panic attack the next - they were not interconnected. Panic disorder is rarely a life long condition, it'll take some battling and mental hardening to overcome them but you'll make it!

Keep going bud!

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#5

Postby Longduckdong » Sun May 02, 2021 10:19 pm

Hey Tokes. How long did your recovery take? And when did you see the most positive change?
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