My Anger Then and Now

Postby potatank » Mon Oct 03, 2016 5:42 pm

New here obviously. Ill cut right to it, angry people dont like to read long posts.
Im bipolar/antisocial personality disorder. I have a history of depression/panic/anxiety which I worked extremely hard to get in check and have been successful at that for many years now.
but this is about anger
I have a longggggggggg history of anger/impulsivity. 6 trips to jail, all for assault and 21 total charges, 18 for assault. I have been free of charges since 06 but still had an existing anger/irritated all the time issue. I hated people and hated going in public. I wanted to smash peoples heads in all the time. Im 50 now, and was still this angry.

2 months ago my shrink put me on Risperidone. I take the absolute minimum dose .25 (yes point 25) mg twice per day. Thats as low as it can go. My gawd this medication has changed my life like nothing else. I cannot physically or mentally get mad anymore. Not a single time since the 5th day of this medication have I even had a twinge of anger or irritability. I cannot overstate how well it is working. I actually have to adjust to it because it is such a drastic change after so many years of being miserable. Im social, I enjoy each day, things that made me mad do not anymore. People dont aggravate me. I simply cannot get over how well it has worked, and I hope it keeps up.

I dont know if anyone else on here has tried this med, Im just relaying my experience with it. Also, I have not drank alcohol in 23 years and never do drugs or smoke, so I have no outside chemical infulences counteracting my medication
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#1

Postby Leo Volont » Tue Oct 04, 2016 3:22 am

Wow!

Risperidone!

I looked it up... and the Stuff really has no significant Side Effects.

And Mr. Potatank Loves It! And, really, His Story is almost like a Horror Story of Out of Control Rage and Anger, and NOW, look how he describes himself. It seems to be a kind of Miracle Drug for Anger!

Oh, I should ask him -- Mr. Potatank, is there ANYTHING that you can criticize about Risperidone? Does it make you sleepy, or does it affect your ability to concentrate... That kind of Thing.

You know, I think that I have done a great deal in Learning to Manage my Anger, BUT if Risperidone is really That Effective and Really has so little Risk, well, wouldn't it be like a kind of 'Anger Insurance Policy'?

..... Oh! I did some more 'Looking Into' Risperidone, and found that it is primarily prescribed for Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder, Tourettes, and for Irritability related to some forms of Autism. So I am wondering whether one could Get a Doctor to prescribe Risperidone if you can only demonstrate a moderate propensity for Anger and Irritability which the Doctor would highly suspect that one can Control, given the ordinary kinds of Therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Of course, Mr. Potatank's Case was a most obviously extreme case, and there was No Question about the appropriateness of the Prescription. But I DO Wish that Ordinary People could buy some kind of a cut-down Over the Counter Version of the same kind of thing... a "Mellow Out" drug.

I will have to discuss it with my doctor.... hmmm, maybe if I Flip Out and Trash her Office first... NO, just kidding...
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#2

Postby potatank » Tue Oct 04, 2016 6:44 am

the only side effect I had was dry mouth for the first 4 days.
Other than that I have zero critical comments about it. It made things significantly better for me with no ill effects. Now obviously I cant say whether it will work that well for you or anyone else, I just happened to hit the jackpot with this medication

Oh and your last comment, I did flip and trash 2 doctors offices, kicked a cop in the face and threw urine on a security guard,...and thats bottom end of things I have done. Those days are long gone now, hopefully this med holds up and they are gone forever
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#3

Postby Leo Volont » Tue Oct 04, 2016 10:35 am

Hi Mr. Potatank,

I was thinking more about Risperidone. Perhaps your Doctor told you How it Works... perhaps it is Replacing something that a normal healthy person's Body typically makes enough of. It Does Seem that Naturally you would be a Very Nice Guy, but something went Wrong in your Neural and Body Chemistry that was the Real Driver for all of your Extremely Violent and Impulsive Behavior. So you may be Right about it not really having much effect on a person with normal Body and Neural Chemistry.

I was Also thinking of Why you are such a Nice Guy Now. I figure that All the Time you were Acting Out of Control, that there was an Inner You that was trying to Do Its Best to Fight the Tendency for Violence, but it was simply Overwhelmed by what was simply an Imbalance of Chemicals in your Head. but now, with the Risperidone, that Nice Guy that had been Struggling So Hard for So Many Years to GET OUT, well, its OUT, and It REALLY IS a Very Nice Guy. And THAT may also be a factor in your Success with Risperidone... that it has been Helped Along by your Strong Inner Drive to be Good, Easy Going and Peaceful. If most of us with normal Body Chemistry would try half as hard to be Nice as you probably did, while you were living through all that misery, I am sure We All could be much Nicer.

Oh! And I was thinking about How Modern Society depends so much on the Criminal Justice System -- Throwing All of Its Problem in Jail! Honestly I thing Prisons and Jails should be Only For people who Deliberately and with Forethought Commit Crimes for Profit -- burglars, muggers and car thieves... those kind of Predators. But What Sense does it make to Toss People into Jail that simply have Impulse Control Problems? That is Clearly a Mental Health Issue, as it was for you. You never Needed to Go to Jail... you needed to go to a good Psychiatric Department. I am so glad that You or Somebody you know finally Figured out how to successfully address your Problem. It shows that perhaps we Can Hope that Society might not always be forever so Screwed Up... Like we are Still all Living in the Dark Ages or something...

Oh! But I shouldn't answer the question I am asking you myself, as I really don't know. Perhaps maybe Risperidone is not Replacing Anything, but is some 'magic Kind of Chemical' that Would Work on Anybody -- just like the Narcotic Drugs work the Same Way on Everybody. Hmmmm, if that was the Case, there should be a Black Market for Risperidone, so people can simply buy it On The Street, and cut out the Doctors, who I am sure are Wonderful Human Beings, BUT they are Very Expensive Middle Men...
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#4

Postby potatank » Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:41 pm

wow that post was outstanding. Yes I do believe it replaces some chemical that is missing. I desperately wanted the angry part of me out so yes you are right this was the final part of the formula to help that. And yes the doctor is an expensive middleman. there does need to be a "silk road" type market for Risperodone :)
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#5

Postby MrAngry » Sun Feb 17, 2019 7:11 pm

hey Potatank - I read your post with great interest. I am a very angry man, and think i am in exactly the same place as you were before you found Risperidone. Can i please ask if you have experienced any side effects from this 'wonder drug' at all? Also, how do i go about getting a prescription - do i have to register with a psychotherapist, or can my GP prescribe it?
Thanks in advince. And i hope you continue to keep calm :D
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#6

Postby Leo Volont » Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:09 am

MrAngry wrote:hey Potatank - I read your post with great interest. I am a very angry man, and think i am in exactly the same place as you were before you found Risperidone. Can i please ask if you have experienced any side effects from this 'wonder drug' at all? Also, how do i go about getting a prescription - do i have to register with a psychotherapist, or can my GP prescribe it?
Thanks in advince. And i hope you continue to keep calm :D


Hi Mr. Angry (Mark),

No, MEDs are not for you. Why? Well, because you show too much in the way of Inhibitions. For instance, in your primary Post you indicate that you mostly just do property damage, and you mostly stay away from assaulting people. If your Anger Problem was Organic, as in the case of Mr. Potatank (who was repeatedly thrown in jail for horrendous instances of violence), then you would also be TOTALLY out of control, but you're not. but I mention all of this in my quite lengthy reply to your primary post. Really, your anger is a bit more than average, but you fall well below the Rage Line. You don't have Memory Lapses, do you? So, yeah, you're big problem is that you never simmer down long enough to clear all the Cortisol out of my system. And a lot of that has to do with how you think. You have a List of a million things that piss you off, and all of that is on you, like some drunk who is always able to think of a reason to get into fights. something about how you grew up conditioned you to be Hyper-Critical. Maybe one of your Parents 'modeled' that kind of hyper-critical behavior, and instead of seeing it as a BAD THING, you saw it as an example of Appropriate Adult Behavior., even if you suffered from it. But, again, that is not Organic. With time, attention, and a lot of practice you can RE-Condition yourself. Just think about it, how screwed up some Parents can get a kid in just the years between 1 and 7. Well, that is only 7 years, and it is not like the Parents worked FULL TIME to screw up their kid. But you can work almost Full Time to De-Screw Yourself Up. The Brain in malleable... what they call 'plastic', and so you can transform yourself. Some actors do it.... when they get an important Film Role, they will take six months off and go off somewhere and "get into character". That is all you need to do. You need to get into Character... a character that is not obnoxiously judgmental about everything... and in that other Reply I give you a Tip on how to control those Adrenaline/Cortisol Rushes.
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