GAD and worrying about what others think of you?

Postby walkingonglass » Mon Oct 31, 2016 12:18 pm

Hi everyone.
Hope you are all well.

I dont suffer from GAD myself, but I do have a partner who does...
Firstly I just want to give you all so much love and massive hugs and just say that anyone who is suffering from GAD/anxiety, I think you guys are the bravest of people and I feel for you all so much. Its a huge struggle that people seem to disregard, but fighting those demons every day...Well, you guys are just soldiers and I respect you all so much.

Just a quick question...
My partner gets EXTREMELY worried/angry/emotional about what people say/think/feel about him. Theres been some problems within his social group and people have expressed that they feel he is extremely selfish, only thinks about his own needs, questioning his character etc etc and have been "spreading" this to other people as well (a little..immature, I know)
Anyway, he has been SO SO upset about this, just really really sad and he's trying to talk to the individuals who has been saying things about him, and they did not show any remorse. And my partner is just like extremely upset about that people are saying this about him. He has a huge breakdown yesterday cause of it. Like with me, I would just kinda brush it off because people always talk...but he really took it to heart and he actually had a huge panic attack because of it. Im still very new to all this, so my question is...Is this common with anxiety, to care alot about what others think about you? Can someone shed some light on this..or just anything? I just want to learn and want to be able to help him with this a little more as he is just really down in the dumps right now.

Thanks a lot everyone!
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 31, 2016 12:48 pm

The first step is to stop believing what the medical community tells you.

Do you realize that homosexuality was once a disorder, but now it is not? What changed? Did you know that until 1980 there was no such thing as GAD? Was it just recently discovered? No!

What happens, is a bunch of a$$hats that represent the latest and greatest in psychology get together and make up new disorders. They advance their careers by adding to the DSM or taking some sort of cultural/political stance. I can't remember exactly, but the newest DSM added around 100 new disorders.

Beliefs are powerful. Pretend you are holding a slice of lemon in your mouth. Can you taste it? Are you salivating just a bit? Now imagine something sad, like losing a loved one. How does your physiology react? Your body responds, even though there is no real issue. Your mind cannot strictly tell the difference. There is a placebo effect.

So now these a$$hats go around handing out disorders they invent and all this does is add to the problem. It was bad enough the person had anxiety over X or Y or Z, but now they have a "disorder". That explains it! Not!

If your partner wants help, start using CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). This is deliberately facing the issue. If he wants to be less sensitive to insults, the solution is being exposed to more insults. Whatever his fears, worries, concerns, this are the things he needs to work through by actually taking small steps, then bigger, then bigger until he realizes want other people think doesn't hurt him.

It is a process of deliberate exposure followed by reflection. After facing an insult or criticism he is asked, "Are you breathing? Are you still alive? Do you need medical help? Did the criticism physically hurt you in anyway?" Once he realizes the smallest of criticisms did not hurt him, you move to a slightly bigger criticism, then bigger, until eventually someone can say whatever they want and he just shrugs it off.
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