Sulking behaviour?

[Roady]

Hmmm

So what was already in, is now coming out.

[Jorainbow]

Indeed. I did see similar behaviour with a work colleague and him once (we met at an old workplace) and I intervened as the altercation happened in from of reception where I worked and he apologised but looking back it was very angry and out of control. Leopards and spots

[Introspectah]

'



I like your attitude of maturity in this, Jorainbow, though you might've been moved to perpetuate this relationship by instinctual drives of which existence you have no clue of.

Therefore, above all else, i find it crucial for you to take a view at this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEeKJUnm7eg




'

[Jorainbow]

Yes I need to understand why and hopefully will get answers with time alone and a little talking

[Roady]

The more your self-worth is healthy and the more you're living the truth, the more you will see the spots and leopards of others.

[Jorainbow]

So counselling starts Thursday which is perfect timing as yesterday I found a dating profile and messages to other women. Of course when confronted it wasn't him even though the messages mentioned his job his study our dog etc etc. Apparently he's been hacked. Right. Did the storming of thing too. Never mind me eh. This man is truly priceless .

[Jorainbow]

3 months on and things have got no better. I confronted him with the dating site and he promised to not do it only to do it again a week later. The reason given to me was I was checking his emails. Yes because I didn't trust him! at Xmas we had a car accident which caused my hovering anxiety to rocket and the only thing I could and can concentrate on is me so he is still here. We are attending counselling together but the work has been on what we enjoy about our marriage and taking it foreward with no work on what happened. He went to counselling for 6 weeks through work after the accident and they dud talk about our lack of communication but he wasn't honest about his infidelity! He's been sulking with me now for two days since I was honest and told him I didn't trust him but oddly it didn't bother me as I'm still hurting. He went off the scale even when I explained and apologised if I'd hurt him. Refusal to speak or even sleep in the same bed. He thinks he is comnunivcating just fine. My anxiety which I was starting to get under control is back again along with waking early and tears. I have counselling tonight do hopefully can talk this through

[JuliusFawcett]

What would you like to happen now?

[Richard@DecisionSkills]

3 months on and things have got no better.

Once again I ask, "Why beat a dead horse?"

I'm trying to understand what motivates you, what is your fear? You are staying with this person for a reason. The blanket answer "for love," does not explain anything.

Are you afraid of how friends and family will think of you if you get divorced?

Are you afraid you will never find another person as good as this man?

Are you afraid of being labeled a failure?

What exactly is driving you to continue to invest more time and energy in this relationship?

[Jorainbow]

Julius. If you had a magic wand I'd like you to take this anxiety away. Sadly I know that won't happen! I want happy me back but better than that. I'd like to work on an improved version!

Richard I fear none of those things but i agree with you absolutely. My family and friends will support me. I'm not concerned about future relationships as I need to sort the one with myself. I went to my first counselling session yesterday and she said exactly the same. What is this fear? Some is fear of how I am feeling right now and those feelings getting worse. Some is lack of control. This isn't the first time I've stayed in a not good relationship longer than I should. The practicalities are irrelevant as I will manage.